I had a family...but....

[Moy]

could be too personal but how many here who send regularly in PH for there family...I mean sending cash..??every week..?? and dont complain
i might be one of those daughters who loves their parents so much..that she sends everything she's got even if there ain't anything left for her...but the thing is it's for medication....etc....and you can't ignore it feeling guilty but at times you want to let it out... or ill blow out

[stevewool]

I understand all you are saying Moy, its hard but you must have something here for you and your family here, send what you can but you must live yourself

[NoRest]

...my sentiments exactly! I send money to my parents every month, I mean they are grateful but sometimes it just gets on my nerves when they mention their neighbour have these and have that... When will they understand that money doesn't grow on UK trees? But anyway, one day gagantimpalaan din tayo ni Lord...

[Moy]

i understand all you are saying Moy, its hard but you must have something here for you and your family here, send what you can but you must live yourself

true steve but i would say i know exactly how to live there with nothing been there ..the thing here is seems you aint have but some things here are very easy to get...like a bunch of grapes on shops there in PH takes me even months to earn just to get those otherwise same cost of living really

[Moy]

...my sentiments exactly! I send money to my parents every month, I mean they are grateful but sometimes it just gets on my nerves when they mention their neighbour have these and have that... When will they understand that money doesn't grow on UK trees? But anyway, one day gagantimpalaan din tayo ni Lord...

lucky you are once a month me every week

[Slip]

I have made a point of telling my other half that when she comes here to live I will find it hard to support the both of us, but I will look after her the best I can and will provide a roof for her and put food on the table, but can't promise untold riches and life's luxuries. I also said if she wants to get a job here and send money home she can, but has to remember that we should come first, no point in leaving ourselves wanting.

I feel some things have to be said before we get married, just so there are no misunderstandings later.

[Moy]

I have made a point of telling my other half that when she comes here to live I will find it hard to support the both of us, but I will look after her the best I can and will provide a roof for her and put food on the table, but can't promise untold riches and life's luxuries. I also said if she wants to get a job here and send money home she can, but has to remember that we should come first, no point in leaving ourselves wanting.

I feel some things have to be said before we get married, just so there are no misunderstandings later.

i exactly know what you saying..the thing isi cant i ignore when it is about medication for your parent..that need to take..without those money i felt i will fail to be a daughter:( hard enemy is the conscience u know

[bigmarco]

i exactly know what you saying..the thing isi cant i ignore when it is about medication for your parent..that need to take..without those money i felt i will fail to be a daughter:( hard enemy is the conscience u know

I totally agree Moy you can't hold back when it comes to health.
We send an allowance every month but there's always more available for medical emergencies. Last year was an expensive year but family is family

[Moy]

I totally agree Moy you can't hold back when it comes to health.
We send an allowance every month but there's always more available for medical emergencies. Last year was an expensive year but family is family

tell me about it been struggling..that i cant even send myself home..because im here supporting them..awfull but hey thats life...i see the evidence my dad

[gWaPito]

Difficult one Moy. ..what do you do, fail as a daughter or fail as a wife

Issues like finance are a taboo subject in some households. ..it only gets talked about when the excrement hits the fan

[Moy]

Difficult one Moy. ..what do you do, fail as a daughter or fail as a wife

Issues like finance are a taboo subject in some households. ..it only gets talked about when the excrement hits the fan

hey my friend your back ermm being a wife is my masters degree i've earned for lifetime doctorate really. and very successful too

[gWaPito]

You're a good one Moy xx

[joebloggs]

Difficult one Moy. ..what do you do, fail as a daughter or fail as a wife

Issues like finance are a taboo subject in some households. ..it only gets talked about when the excrement hits the fan

not in our house, i sent my misses money every month for years, now she sends her mom and aunt money every month, they both made sacrifices for her, and I understand that and don't have a problem with it

[marksroomspain]

could be too personal but how many here who send regularly in PH for there family...i mean sending cash..??every week..?? and dont complain
i might be one of those daughters who loves there parents so much..that send everything she got even aint nothing left for her...but the thing is its for medication....etc....and you cant ignore it feeling guilty but at times you want to let it out... or ill blow out

Moy,

This is a real tough one but I will put it in a nutshell:

What you have to remember is that when you were in the Phils what happened if you didn' have enough for medical expenses there and with an average wage of about £100 a month if your lucky then once thats gone how did you cope.

I appreciate how difficult it must be for you but like others have said your priority is to yourself and husband first then if you can afford extras then so be it.

Sorry for sounding blunt Moy but thats reality and I wish you well...

Love & Peace...

[fred]

I've seen Filipino friend work themselves on the UK grindstone for years and years sending money to their sisters, mothers, brothers blah blah blah..

They suffer a sparse existence in the UK and the problems and dramas from the R.P keep coming and coming via phone calls, texts, letters, you name it.

Years later their families are still poor and the goose that lays those golden eggs slowly become more haggard with the new worry lines appearing on their foreheads..

I used to tell them that I thought they were mad and that they should think of their own futures first and foremost..

It made no difference.

Very sad.

The families left behind here think that those that are working abroad are rich!!

Like us Puti foreigners.. Millionaires by default!!

[London_Manila]

Difficult topic to say the least

This is where east meets west and things are not so great

Probably another good reason why NOT to get married

Dont bother with the "im so loved up and i would not change anything" i have heard all this stories before from guys who think with their hearts and certainly not their brains

The bottomless pit where you send money hand over fist and still the demands keep on coming..............

Where does it all end ? care to give that a thought.................

[gWaPito]

Difficult topic to say the least

This is where east meets west and things are not so great

Probably another good reason why NOT to get married

Dont bother with the "im so loved up and i would not change anything" i have heard all this stories before from guys who think with their hearts and certainly not their brains

The bottomless pit where you send money hand over fist and still the demands keep coming..............

Ive got a Brit/Fil family living close to me. They've been married 19 years. The kids all grown up and about to leave the nest..it should be the start of a new easier life for the husband and wife...it's not.

For years the wife has been sending all her wages over to Philippines because of parents failling ill health all the while the husband has been holding down 2 fulltime jobs.

They took a visit there a while back and thing were not as described None of her brothers worked yet all had nice clothes..played cards for money and smoked and drank

They were having the life of Riley all on the expense of the downtrodden husband back here in UK
The wife still sends it all back even though the claimed failling ill health wasn't has bad as they found..........the husband, he's still working himself into the ground
Who's having the better life I wonder

[mendoza82]

I sending money back home weekly, well, it's for my parents house to get finished after Yolanda, it's quite hard specially when they think I got loads of money here, and when I tell them the truth how I struggling here I mean in general like still adjusting the life here in uk. and I feel like no one believes me,and it's makes me insane..

[gWaPito]

not in our house, i sent my misses money every month for years, now she sends her mom and aunt money every month, they both made sacrifices for her, and I understand that and don't have a problem with it

Good for you Joe
You're obviously very lucky to be in that position.
Many here like you send back but are struggling to make their own ends meet.

[gWaPito]

I sending money back home weekly, well,it's for my parents house to get finished after Yolanda, it's quite hard specially when they think I got loads of money here, and when I tell them the truth how I struggling here I mean in general like still adjusting the life here in uk. and I feel like no one believes me, and it's makes me insane..

Sorry to read this Mendoza.

[Michael Parnham]

We only would send money in an emergency, as Fred, London-Manila and Mendoza say. What's the point of struggling yourself to make ends meet and still send money every month, emergency it's a big YES providing you can afford it, be sensible!

[gladz]

I am lucky as my parents have their jobs and same with my siblings so i am not obliged to send money for them for this and that. I can send some for birthday pressies or emergencies but not as monthly or weekly allowance.

I remembered the seminar i had at CFO where the speaker told us to educate our family about money that money isn't grown on trees, and not to spoil our families with luxurious things cos they tend to rely and become parasites,that they don't strive hard or don't look for jobs cos they knew they are receiving monthly allowances . She even told us to save and invest. I totally agree with what she said and my husband kept telling me that uk is not paved with gold. Save and invest for you don't know what the future holds.

[bigmac]

interesting thread this.

i havent much idea about living costs in the philis.

when my g/f was here 2 years back--on a student visa--she worked locally and sent money back each month--2 kids back home. then--when she came back here last summer on a visit visa--the deal was i would help out with cash for her kids--as--obviously--she wasnt able to work here.

ive heard of builders labourers out there earning £5 a day--is that for real ? and

expenses there and with an average wage of about £100 a month

so--is there such a thing as an "average" monthly family income ?

how far would--say 10,000 pesos a month go ?

[stevie c]

We have set a limit to what we send each month & will not go over that limit on in emergencies

[joebloggs]

Good for you Joe
You're obviously very lucky to be in that position.
Many here like you send back but are struggling to make their own ends meet.

what position is that I'm struggling , i could be using the money to pay what debts i have off quicker, but then i know the sacrifices they made for years for my misses, so I'm not complaining , it's not a sprint but a marathon

[gWaPito]

We only would send money in an emergency, as Fred, London-Manila and Mendoza say. What's the point of struggling yourself to make ends meet and still send money every month, emergency it's a big YES providing you can afford it, be sensible!

I actually said it as well

[gWaPito]

what position is that I'm struggling , i could be using the money to pay what debts i have off quicker, but then i know the sacrifices they made for years for my misses, so I'm not complaining , it's not a sprint but a marathon

Yes Joe ...we are all too aware of the sacrifices their parents made for them bringing them into this world. ..my past wives had it drummed into them from the word go hence the burden of guilt strung around their necks until their dying days.

I'm talking about folks sending money when they can ill afford it. ..like choosing to do that rather than putting food on the table and clothing on their backs. This is the reality for many here

[gWaPito]

interesting thread this.

i havent much idea about living costs in the philis.

when my g/f was here 2 years back--on a student visa--she worked locally and sent money back each month--2 kids back home. then--when she came back here last summer on a visit visa--the deal was i would help out with cash for her kids--as--obviously--she wasnt able to work here.

ive heard of builders labourers out there earning £5 a day--is that for real ? and

expenses there and with an average wage of about £100 a month

so--is there such a thing as an "average" monthly family income ?

how far would--say 10,000 pesos a month go ?

I don't know where that average came from either.
I know of lady with 3 children under 5 years of age living quite comfortably on 10000 a month. 5000 on rental and the remainder on food and clothing. It can be done

[joebloggs]

it's not a burden, its called paying it back or 'paying it forward' (have you ever seen the film?, if you have you'll know what i mean ) , her mom got 3 of her 4 kids thru uni on her own

but in my misses case that was 10 long years at uni, her aunt quit her job to look after my stepson, sure i took over the 'burden' and we've been making 'sacrifices' since, thou the misses hasn't done this for money, her dream was to be a doctor as long as she can remember, but her rewards will come very soon and her 'burdens' and 'sacrifices' will come to an end

i dont think ros is going without clothes or food??, she can only send what ever she has left , its her money

[gWaPito]

I wasn't talking about any particular individuals Joe

Yes, it's Moy's money to do as she pleases. Like the money her husband's earns is to spend as he also pleases

In my book, loyalty comes first and foremost to the immediate family.

Just my humble opinion.