First of all RIk, I would like to congratulate you for being smart to dump and block that filipina. I really love replying to this kind of thread, I don't know why. HAHAHA So here are the possible things that had happened, and these are all from my point of view, heard stories, experience from the others and my experience as well and I am not taking any side of this.
First, do you guys had a fair communication? Can you tell if the woman you were chatting with knows how to use proper words,sentences and can communicate well? Sometimes it happens, as you all know, english is not our first language, there are lots of chances of being miscommunicated because we cannot translate our thoughts to english word by word, so there's a possible that the woman used basic words to interpret what she was saying, or does she know how to use proper punctuation marks? Those could be questions, we dont know, maybe she was sharing to you what she thought or what she's been hearing from the others about english people's wage? and she's not really after money? She was just curious?
Second, How's her background? Family? Financially? Are those all stable? Does she have a happy life? or you think she was a deprived kid?
Third, do you happen to know what she'd been through? She could had bad experiences with foreigners before? Or maybe she was always been offered to do such nasty things?? Or maybe she was really concern about her future with you?
Fourth, she's been doing this to anyone because she really wants money and she is not seeing herself to be with you in the future.
People can have dual/multiple personalities, well most. In dating sites,you can be anyone, you can portray anyone, you can choose who and what you are, depending on your intentions. I have heard a story, a filipina who is very attracted to someone, and of course, she wants a serious relationship with that man, and she can see him as the one who she will be settled with, so what she does, she's been doing everyhting she can just to prove that she has clean intentions and serious about them, well of course, she never talked about the money because it will be a red flag to the man and she doesnt want to do anything to make the man turned off to her. At the same time, another foreign man really likes this filipina, but the filipina has no feelings for him at all, what happened? She just took advantage of him, but all of us are wondering why she's doing those, it could be; she wants to buy things that she cannot afford, without asking from the man she really likes, or maybe she can see that the man who likes her has no plans to take a serious step about them whilst the man she likes has good plans for them? It is difficult to know who are the serious takers, and who are not, and the only bad thing about this is the filipina didn't miss what she can get from the two men in her life.
In that sample story, it just shows that theres no specific numbers of percentage of filipinas who are just after money or serious takers. If there is, that's not pretty accurate then, because one day, we can be serious takers and the other day we can be after money. It all depends on the filipina, or on the foreign. Actually this issue is not just from the Philippines in which this could happen to anyone.
"And would you tell them whether you were rich or poor before you found out if they actually had any feelings for you, or tell them after."
-I guess there's no harm to tell it before so the woman would know what to expect and also I believe that if both of you are comfortable to each other as the day goes by, no need to tell her directly your financial status because that topic will come out naturally, as the same as what I was telling, if the filipina sees you as a serious taker, and she knows that you are the one she wants to settle with, you can talk everything under the sun without malice, it comes out naturally.
Reality Check:
And would you ever find a lady who would come to England to live with a very low wage earner?
- visa expenses, visa financial requirement, it is impossible. But if you will rephrase your question into:
" would you ever find a lady who would love a very low wage earner?" That is so possible.
If you want to meet a woman who wants a serious relationship:
: DO NOT MESSAGE TO SOMEONE WHO SHOWS HER CLEAVAGE ON HER PROFILE PICTURE, PERIOD.
Thanks for the in depth reply Jen, I do like a nice reply with thought in it.
I shall try and answer the questions you have asked and add my own thoughts.
Communication is vital to any relationship and clarity is utmost for me. I like to know the thoughts of the lady and reasons she would like to live away from her homeland. Her financial status I would never be rude enough to ask over an e-mail or the phone, I feel that is something you can only ask someone face to face and then only if you feel you could have something special developing. Short of either of you being bi-lingual or multi-lingual there will always be misinterpretations of what has been said. But in the case that I originally talked about there was no misunderstanding. She wanted money, end of, the subject came up after about 4 letters.
As for your story about the filipina who had one man she could see herself being settled with and wants to show her good intentions towards him by not asking him about money, and show her clean intentions.!!! Now let's think about that last bit 'Clean Intentions' if I was the man whom she likes and can see herself settled down with, and I found out that she had been basically ripping off another man that found her attractive when she had no intention of being with him, whether or not he wanted to settle down does not come in to the equation, she would be put out with the rubbish. The fact that she wanted to prove how good she is to the man she wants in her life and show her 'Clean Intentions' and then rip off a man who has feelings for her, is just cold hearted.
The reality check.
Rephrasing my question from 'Would you come to England to live with a very low wage earner' to one of 'Would you find one that would love a very low wage earner' is a completely different question. One involves total commitment the other just the use of the word love. If a man wanted a woman to come to England to live with him and obviously be married that shows love and commitment, and should be the basis of the relationship. But anyone can say to the other they love them when there is no commitment, especially when they are on different continents.
And finally, if I see a picture on a site of a woman with short skirt and cleavage sticking in your face, well best of luck to her but she's not for me.
A lot of the girls on the dating sites are only there to scam money from gullible men - and are successful at it- only takes 1 or 2 % success rate to make it lucrative for them - and it is! There are men there that are naive and believe their sob stories and tales of woe.
Even a girl in my own ex GFs family tried to scam me by pretending to be my GF one day.
It can be big money if they hit the right person.
Sounds like you had a lucky escape there Sparky
I should imagine a lot of foreign nationals were keen to find a UK future partner--in order to get here. In previous times the income wasn't the main thing---but all that has now changed.---because of sponsorship income rules.
Thank you for answering the questions Rik, however those were not really specifically for her only, those were meant generally and could be to anyone.
Well,good thing that you made a great job by dumping her, and I know you are the only one who knows and feel about her intensions.
About the woman, even I, who heard the story personally, wouldnt know whats the truth about her feelings, about her plans, about everything, and I guess that's not my business anymore.
Just be carefu and wise, we are all grown ups.
About the other replies stating that Pinoys are womanizers, well mostly yes hahaha. My father is a living proof lol, but I am thankful that my Filipino exes were faithful enough. Tho now, personally I really prefer foreign men two reasons, (PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME AS A RACIST OR DISCRIMINATING ANYONE), I had previous relationship with an american, german and now a british, I made some british friends as well and not being a racist but I found British the best among them not because my fiance is a brit but I have proven it by having some british friends, they are very upfront, they do not waste time, if they dont like you, they really dont and they dont play games (again, this is based on my experience) they are faithful, and judgements of other people do not make them bothered and I like how independent they are. And another thing that scares me most about filipino men, gays and bisexuals are increasing, (again I am not discriminating anyone, I have lots of LGBT friends and I love them) you wouldnt really know who are the straight ones, tho it is not a big deal but of course me as a woman, I would marry a man, a real man. (I hope I did not offend anyone, I am sorry if I did)
I have watched a local news last night and prostitutes were so happy that american troops will be back in Subic, one prostitute was interviewed (of course wearing a sexy outfit) and told the reporter, "Siyempre excited, matagal na kami nag aantay sa mga kano." (Of course we are excited, we have been waiting for the americans) and then if they got pregnant and abandoned by the american, they would moan and complain and tell bad things against them (one woman was also interviewed, she had a kid with an american and she was abandoned, she was so angry), sometimes they will complain as they were got raped lol (I know you know this issue) well I know you guys can get what I am saying.
Bottom line,
all of us can find our true love, personally or from dating sites, it just depends on us, on how we communicate, on how we treat our prospects, and on how we respect ourselves especially for the women, how would we find a man who will love us truthfully if we post pictures that will give them a reason to disrespect us? acting like a s***, and saying words like a b****? and you are expecting for a man to treat you nicely? Well that's for anyone not just for women.
If the woman love someone filipina or not, your status in life should not be an issue anyway, should it? If the guy earns well, it is a plus/bonus. But if not, find someone who could contribute and not just a pretty face!
I mean find a girl who can contribute and not sitting at the couch watching silly pinoy dramas,
Very well said Espie
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