Congratulations on your expected baby Don’tPushMe! I'm sorry to read that you are having trouble adjusting ...... here's my view:

No, we British are not all the same and we have different standards. There are some distinct differences living in the North and the South of the country. Local traditions are also quite different, particularly in the North, as well as language accents. (I am from the South)

1. Food and personal hygiene are very important to me and my partner. My partner often comments about men that don’t wash their hands when they have been to the toilet, he finds it as disgusting as I do. I use food preparation boards that are dish washer proof and therefore able to be washed at high temperatures to keep any bugs at bay. I never prepare food directly onto a kitchen work surface, that’s asking for trouble.

2. I can’t say that I have ever really noticed anyone re-arranging “their bits” in public, it’s not done in the places and circle I frequent. There’s no way that I would have shaken that dirty guy's hand either! Like you, I am reluctant to share a bed with my partner when he has a cold. I don’t want it and would prefer to sleep in another room.

3. Although I do freeze portions of home cooked food immediately as soon as they have cooled, I am guilty of throwing out food after the sell by date as well as scraps and I also over-buy. I know it’s a waste of money and partly down to changing plans for meals, etc. I’d sooner give unwanted furniture away and usually donate it to the British Heart Foundation charity who will only accept items in good condition but I haven’t got anything old and battered in my home. Your mother-in-law was probably too embarrassed to give you her old furniture. I have never bought second hand goods for myself or anyone else.

4. I’ve taught my son to cook, clean, budget, shop, garden, decorate, along with everything else in the household and if he couldn’t, I would feel I had failed as a mother. My partner is absolutely brilliant too and is very domesticated. He doesn’t enjoy cooking but can and will make some very tasty meals. There is no excuse these days. Equality and independence is very important to me.

5. As for the behaviour of British women, I think that you’ve struck it unlucky but some of what’s being said is probably in an effort to help you. I don't know how old your female in laws are (they sound quite elderly) but would suggest that you consider sharing your thoughts and feelings very tactfully with those that are making you feel the way you do ……. Or ignoring it

Your pregnancy hormone levels may also be affecting the way that you feel right now. I do hope that you are able to adjust to the British way of life before long and begin to enjoy it.