Searching for a genuine filipina girl

[Michael Parnham]

Do you really want to hear my booooring explanation Gwapito?

Here it is then.....

It is different in the Philippines because there's not a lot of single young foreign men that comes and visit the country for a holiday, work or in search for love. They are far too much busy with their work and would maybe rather choose a holiday in countries like Amsterdam, Australia, Ibiza Spain...etc.

Mostly, the one that comes in and out of the Philippines
are the retired foreigners who are on their holiday enjoying their pensions or the ones who want to settle down in the country permanently or the ones who are already married to a Filipina. So meeting a younger foreign man there and fall in love with is very unlikely to happen as there's not a lot of them around the country. (It still happens but not very common). What is common there is meeting an older foreign man as there are lots of them in the country ... especially the retired ones who can afford a holiday...who got no work to come back for ...so Filipinas who aim to marry a foreign man and get out of the country just settle for what is available. There's not so much of choices I suppose wherein here in the UK, Filipinas here got lots of choices .... fishes are everywhere kinda type of thing.



I am not entirely sure about that.. If you ask me that question personally, I would say that it's not for me....not my cup of tea ... But most people said that older men have lots of life experiences, they are more wiser, more considerate, will spoil you so much with love and care, will give you everything, very tolerant and .....

True we do care, also we have respect and manners!

[dontpushme]

When people in my town found out that I am engaged to a 28-year old foreign man, they asked me why a young man....? According to them, a young man doesn't have any money, no house, no savings and changes shirt so quick. I told them that I love my fiancé and I can't afford to be in a relationship with a man just for the sake of his money in the first place. They said that I am foolish for using my heart and not my head. They said that if I'm marrying a foreigner, it should be an old one so my future is brighter. Such a shame but that is how people back home judged my relationship. We haven't buy any land nor a house in the Philippines yet, and my mum still cooks and sells her food in the market to make some extra money----people said that this is because I married a young man and life for my family could have been a lot better if I married an older one.

I just ignore everything that they say and carry on living the life I chose to have, besides at the end of the day, this is my life, not theirs.

Matt and I had a similar problem when we were dating. My paternal relatives would have disapproved had he been older than me, but they were okay that he was the same age as my younger brother. On the other hand, my maternal relatives, being from the working class, insisted that I needed to look for someone older who had money and would be able to provide financial security. The thing is, I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend. All my life, my plans were to buy back our farm and raise sheep with maybe one farmhand. Matt wasn't looking for a girlfriend either. He and I just happened to meet on Facebook, and after arguing about football, we eventually hit it off.

So please explain, why is it different when they are in the Philippines. How is it Filipinas find much older men more attractive

It's not all Filipinas. I'd say it's more of a working class thing to want an older foreigner. A woman I know who married a Belgian twice her age said she was just so tired of working her fingers to the bone and not having any money to show for it after having paid for her younger siblings' school fees. Another reason I've seen is that the men in our working class really have that much less respect for the women. When Matt and I attended a family planning seminar that was required for the marriage license, we were one of only two couples out of 30 that didn't already have kids or who weren't getting a shotgun wedding because the woman was pregnant. As the nurse talked about contraception and the importance of spacing out pregnancies, the men in the room started bragging that they'd just cheat on their wives. I was dumbstruck that not a single woman defended herself from the public humiliation. In fact, the women all just meekly sat there staring down at their baby bumps and looking like trapped rabbits. Matt had no idea what was going on (it was all in Tagalog), but he said he could feel the fury practically emanating from me. How could I not be furious? The men proudly announced that they WOULD cheat because it was their nature as men, and their wives couldn't do a thing about it. The consensus among the men was that if the women confronted the men about the cheating, or cheated in retaliation, then they'd better not come home at all. And that was only one of the many times I met working class Filipinos who truly believed that cheating was a man's right. If you were a woman who felt that powerless financially or emotionally, would you not prefer an older foreigner too?

Something many working class mothers "jokingly" teach their daughters is to look for a man who is matandang mayamang madaling mamatay (aka the three M's). Roughly translated, it means a man who is old, rich, and decrepit (read: ready to die and bequeath everything to you). As you can see in aprilmae's example, many people do seriously want their daughters to marry old foreigners. In my maternal grandmother's case, she was also quite enamoured with pale skin so she added that to the list "for the improvement of the species". I felt like a breeding dog whenever she told me that. I was in the 6th grade (year 7) when she first told me to stop my stupid fantasizing about buying back our farm and to look for an old white man who would provide for me. When she saw Matt while I was on Skype, she just told me to ask Matt if he had any older relatives who'd be interested in me. Fortunately, that was all said in Bisaya.

Having said all that, being open to marrying an older foreigner isn't the same as actually wanting to marry an older foreigner. You may be hard-pressed to find a middle-class Filipina who wants to marry an old foreigner, but I'm sure there are lots who are at least open to it if they're approached by the right man.

[marksroomspain]

And I was having breakfast before breakfast

Had a lovely muffin for my breakfast...

[marksroomspain]

Poor Nick-he is hoping to find a new love and everyone's on about bonking their ladies, talk about rubbing it in

Yes hope he finds the lady who mesmerises him with those come to bed eyes and long silky hair with the body of a temple...

Hold on back in 20 mins....

[marksroomspain]

Matt and I had a similar problem when we were dating. My paternal relatives would have disapproved had he been older than me, but they were okay that he was the same age as my younger brother. On the other hand, my maternal relatives, being from the working class, insisted that I needed to look for someone older who had money and would be able to provide financial security. The thing is, I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend. All my life, my plans were to buy back our farm and raise sheep with maybe one farmhand. Matt wasn't looking for a girlfriend either. He and I just happened to meet on Facebook, and after arguing about football, we eventually hit it off.



It's not all Filipinas. I'd say it's more of a working class thing to want an older foreigner. One of the women I know, who agreed to marry a Belgian man twice her age, said she was just so tired of working her fingers to the bone and not having any money to show for it after having paid for her younger siblings' school fees. Another reason I've seen is that the men in our working class really have that much less respect for the women. When Matt and I attended a family planning seminar that was required for the marriage certificate, we were one of only two couples out of 30 that didn't already have kids or who weren't getting a shotgun wedding because the woman was pregnant. As the nurse talked about contraception and the importance of spacing out pregnancies, the men in the room started bragging that they'd just cheat on their wives. I was dumbstruck that not a single woman defended herself from the public humiliation. In fact, the women all just meekly sat there staring down at their baby bumps and looking like trapped rabbits. Matt had no idea what was going on (it was all in Tagalog), but he said he could feel the fury practically emanating from me. How could I not be furious? The men proudly announced that they WOULD cheat because it was their nature as men, and their wives couldn't do a thing about it. If they confronted the men about the cheating, or cheated in retaliation, they'd better not come home at all. And that was only one of the many times I met working class Filipinos who truly believed that cheating was a man's right. If you were a woman who felt that powerless financially or emotionally, would you not prefer an older foreigner too?

Something many working class mothers "jokingly" teach their daughters is to look for a man who is matandang mayamang madaling mamatay. Roughly translated, it means a man who is old, rich, and decrepit (read: ready to die and bequeath everything to you). As you can see in aprilmae's example, many people do seriously want their daughters to marry old foreigners. In my maternal grandmother's case, she was also quite enamoured with pale skin so she added that to the list "for the improvement of the species". I felt like a breeding dog whenever she told me that. I was in the 6th grade (year 7) when she first told me to stop my stupid fantasizing about buying back our farm and to look for an old white man who would provide for me. When she saw Matt while I was on Skype, she just told me to ask Matt if he had any older relatives who'd be interested in me. Fortunately, that was all said in Bisaya.

Having said all that, being open to marrying an older foreigner isn't the same as actually wanting to marry an older foreigner. You may be hard-pressed to find a middle-class Filipina who wants to marry an old foreigner, but I'm sure there are lots who are at least open to it if they're approached by the right man.

You really do impress me with your thought out presentation of posts on here.

Stick around, a breath of fresh air really intriguing and well done...

[dontpushme]

Thanks! I do apologise to everyone for the longwindedness.

[Nick30]

I enjoyed reading all the comments on my topic. So good stories. Is there a wife for me? I'm hoping and praying ��

[dontpushme]

Good luck with your search, Nick! I sincerely hope you find the woman of your dreams without wading through too much BS from scammers.

[marksroomspain]

Thanks! I do apologise to everyone for the longwindedness.

Really love your sense of humour and direction, I misjudged earlier posts but guess what you really have made me smile and thats an achievement by itself....

Wish you and your hubby all the best for the future...

[marksroomspain]

I enjoyed reading all the comments on my topic. So good stories. Is there a wife for me? I'm hoping and praying ��

Nick hope you do find the one.

I admit I was lucky and found a genuine one even after working 12 hours she still had the time to chat to me for up to 4 hours online and running out in the pouring rain to a internet cafe poor girl but eh but I felt that connection from almost the start.

My girl was a qualified nurse from a middle class family who grew up in Manila then moved to Rizal in the provinces.

A really respectful family who I felt genuine love from and spending time there was the happiest days of my life mmm wish I was back.

Anyway enough of me babbling on just stay wise be yourself and take your time, everything will come good.

Good luck buddy take care.....

[fred]

All my life, my plans were to buy back our farm and raise sheep with maybe one farmhand.

Sheep?
Dont you mean goats or pigs?

[marksroomspain]

Sheep?
Dont you mean goats or pigs?

[fred]

Hey.. You never know.. I am always looking for a source of good quality lamb and this could be it!!

I`ll keep my fingers crossed!

[dontpushme]

Nope, we've never had goats, and only had one sow and her piglets for family consumption. The sheep fared better in the cold, wet climate of Bicol than goats would have. We had Poll Dorset and Border Leicester sheep when I was young, and the meat went straight to restaurants and hotels in Manila. At our palengke stall in Naga, my dad used to sell beef instead.

[fred]

Nope, we've never had goats, and only had one sow and her piglets for family consumption. The sheep fared better in the cold, wet climate of Bicol than goats would have. We had Poll Dorset and Border Leicester sheep when I was young, and the meat went straight to restaurants and hotels in Manila. At our palengke stall in Naga, my dad used to sell beef instead.

Thats very interesting..As I said,I`d love to find a good source of lamb over here..I have 3 bottles of mince sauce in my ref waiting.
Any suggestions?
There are many breeds of animal that one would not expect to find here in the R.P.. One of my neighbours has Ostriches for instance!!

[Nick30]

lol.

Thanks for all the lovely messages of encouragement people

[grahamw48]

An Australian acquaintance of mine raised sheep in Bicol...also meat Rabbits.

I bought some Rabbit breeding stock from him.

[gWaPito]

Thanks! I do apologise to everyone for the longwindedness.

Maybe longwinded but, interesting! I'm addicted

[gWaPito]

Matt and I had a similar problem when we were dating. My paternal relatives would have disapproved had he been older than me, but they were okay that he was the same age as my younger brother. On the other hand, my maternal relatives, being from the working class, insisted that I needed to look for someone older who had money and would be able to provide financial security. The thing is, I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend. All my life, my plans were to buy back our farm and raise sheep with maybe one farmhand. Matt wasn't looking for a girlfriend either. He and I just happened to meet on Facebook, and after arguing about football, we eventually hit it off.



It's not all Filipinas. I'd say it's more of a working class thing to want an older foreigner. A woman I know who married a Belgian twice her age said she was just so tired of working her fingers to the bone and not having any money to show for it after having paid for her younger siblings' school fees. Another reason I've seen is that the men in our working class really have that much less respect for the women. When Matt and I attended a family planning seminar that was required for the marriage license, we were one of only two couples out of 30 that didn't already have kids or who weren't getting a shotgun wedding because the woman was pregnant. As the nurse talked about contraception and the importance of spacing out pregnancies, the men in the room started bragging that they'd just cheat on their wives. I was dumbstruck that not a single woman defended herself from the public humiliation. In fact, the women all just meekly sat there staring down at their baby bumps and looking like trapped rabbits. Matt had no idea what was going on (it was all in Tagalog), but he said he could feel the fury practically emanating from me. How could I not be furious? The men proudly announced that they WOULD cheat because it was their nature as men, and their wives couldn't do a thing about it. The consensus among the men was that if the women confronted the men about the cheating, or cheated in retaliation, then they'd better not come home at all. And that was only one of the many times I met working class Filipinos who truly believed that cheating was a man's right. If you were a woman who felt that powerless financially or emotionally, would you not prefer an older foreigner too?

Something many working class mothers "jokingly" teach their daughters is to look for a man who is matandang mayamang madaling mamatay (aka the three M's). Roughly translated, it means a man who is old, rich, and decrepit (read: ready to die and bequeath everything to you). As you can see in aprilmae's example, many people do seriously want their daughters to marry old foreigners. In my maternal grandmother's case, she was also quite enamoured with pale skin so she added that to the list "for the improvement of the species". I felt like a breeding dog whenever she told me that. I was in the 6th grade (year 7) when she first told me to stop my stupid fantasizing about buying back our farm and to look for an old white man who would provide for me. When she saw Matt while I was on Skype, she just told me to ask Matt if he had any older relatives who'd be interested in me. Fortunately, that was all said in Bisaya.

Having said all that, being open to marrying an older foreigner isn't the same as actually wanting to marry an older foreigner. You may be hard-pressed to find a middle-class Filipina who wants to marry an old foreigner, but I'm sure there are lots who are at least open to it if they're approached by the right man.

I could have done with reading this valuable info 8 years ago

A deserved rep on its way

[tiger31]

I love my old man grahamw48 only because he is a sex machine .

did he pay you to say that

[Michael Parnham]

Had a lovely muffin for my breakfast...

Like it!

[grahamw48]

did he pay you to say that

No !

[dontpushme]

Thats very interesting..As I said,I`d love to find a good source of lamb over here..I have 3 bottles of mince sauce in my ref waiting.
Any suggestions?
There are many breeds of animal that one would not expect to find here in the R.P.. One of my neighbours has Ostriches for instance!!

I think Rustan's Supermarket or S&R might have it, but I'll check with my family where they get their lamb these days. Are you in Cagayan de Oro, by the way?

I could have done with reading this valuable info 8 years ago

A deserved rep on its way

Which part, the bit where you could swoop down and save a lovely young woman from a cruel relationship, or the bit where you could be her family's dream come true?

Thanks for the rep!

[les_taxi]

Wow now we are talking about lamb and ostrich
Nick I might go over in Jan/Feb maybe we should team up?

[Nick30]

That will be cool. Yes maybe.

[aprilmaejon]

Which part, the bit where you could swoop down and save a lovely young woman from a cruel relationship, or the bit where you could be her family's dream come true?

Nice one dontpushme!

[gWaPito]

I think Rustan's Supermarket or S&R might have it, but I'll check with my family where they get their lamb these days. Are you in Cagayan de Oro, by the way?



Which part, the bit where you could swoop down and save a lovely young woman from a cruel relationship, or the bit where you could be her family's dream come true?

Thanks for the rep!

You're welcome Denise

I actually inadvertently made 2 Filipino families dream come true. ..and saved one wife from continuing her life in the whore house. If that don't get me to Heaven, I'll be well upset

[dontpushme]

Well, aren't we the knight in shining armour? It sounds like you're well on your way to earning a spot in Heaven too, though it doesn't sound like you knew you were making people's dreams come true.

[Trefor]

did he pay you to say that

I suspect Graham has 2 accounts

[gWaPito]

Well, aren't we the knight in shining armour? It sounds like you're well on your way to earning a spot in Heaven too, though it doesn't sound like you knew you were making people's dreams come true.

If I can only give Nick one piece of advice, if you're serious about finding a life partner I'd say stay away from prostitutes or supposedly ex prostitutes, quaintly known in The Philippines as bar girls. .to me a whore is a whore no matter how it's packaged.

These folks come with their own box of issues. ..life's tough enough as it is without adding to it.

Take your time and find a nice lady in a province.