unexpected heavy heart

[eula mackay]

ive lived outside the phils since year 2000. i do visit every year but usually just for 7 days as i still need to see my husband then my boyfriend in london. admittedly, i was not very keen on coming here for my settlement visa application but i didnt have a choice so i just had to deal with it. i remember the first few nights how i cried myself to sleep. i did hit rock bottom. i submitted my application 4th of sept and my husband came to see me on the 14th for 8 days as he was increasingly getting worried each day as it was getting obvious how lonely, upset and depressed i was. it was very difficult as well for me not to have my passport. i wanted to go see friends and families living in the south east but i cant, i have no passport. so instead, they came over to see me. i started a novena as well, let me just say that my intention was granted on the 9th day as promised. i dont have much family here, but hey, its quality not quantity. we did alot of travelling around the philippines. non stop eating and drinking, for me very little shopping. i have 3 adorable nieces and one of them became a member of the phil team for wall climbing during my holiday. its a shame i will not be able to see her compete in singapore end of nov. i am very proud of her. the other one is a cheeky little monster and her ate is so quiet she scares me when she talks. lol. i really dont know what im trying to say here. i guess i am somehow shocked i am feeling this loneliness considering i wanted to leave the phils and be with my husband in the uk. i dont remember the last time i felt this way. i was always excited to get out. i dont cry much but yesterday after my dental appt i went to my brothers house and the cheeky monster said to me "tita, please dont go. i dont want you to go" i just smiled and said i need to be with tito but i will call everyday, turned my back, drove away, pulled over and started crying. its slowly hitting me now...i am leaving tom. i am going to be so far away from the children i have grown to love more each day. from the lifestyle that was very easy to get used to. my condo will be leased to holiday makers again when i leave. no more daily lunches with mates and gimiks in the evening. no more weekly out of town trips. at least for the time being.

at the end of it all, i know i am leaving tom to be with my husband. i love my husband more than life itself. maybe im being a drama queen, my hormones are working over time once again. i'll get off now and go to the gym, endorphines might do the trick.....

[kimmi]

its a very nice and touching post Eula, it made me cry when I read it..

In life we really need to make decisions and sacrifices,but in the end we have to choose which will make us happy..
I am glad that u will be with ur husband soon on a permanent basis..I hope u have a safe trip tommorow..

Von Voyage and GOD bless..

[Bridget]

I understand how you feel now Eula. I`ve been in and out of the country since 1999 and yes saying bye bye to our love ones is so hard.It is so sad , but I tried to be strong I do not want them to see me crying everytime I have to leave. The moment the plane takes off, tears fallen down my face. But thinking that at the end of that journey in the other side of the world there s your love waiting for you. And its the same feeling everytime I left Heathrow, I cried everytime I have to leave him to go back to my hometown,but after a few hours I get excited again coz I know my family will be happy to see me again.
Thats life. As the saying goes, theres time for everything;
Life is here to be enjoyed.
Goodluck Eula and have safe journey.

[ginapeterb]

Eula,

My wife cries everytime she leaves hubby behind when she takes a junket back to Phils,

She goes back twice a year, once in Easter, and once in summer holidays, its a good break for her, and she goes back to see family, she cries because she is sad to leave the hubby behind.

Does the hubby cry ? nooooooooo he is thinking, he can have the t.v. to himself, watching premiership games, drinking, beer cans all over the coffee table, sleep late and watch favourite movies, no one calling honey ! come na !!!

Hahahaha, I do miss my honey when she goes home, but hey, the blessings are clear for all to see, sometimes the seperation makes for a better reunion when you finally meet up.

And as for Heathrow airport...many a time I have flown home and looke dout of the window and thought, oh great ! the weather is the usual drizzle....welcome back, and the credit card bills are on the doorstep.


Such is life...

[joebloggs]

your lucky peter, , how i wish for that day, that i've got enough money to let her go back to the philippines, me and the dog are looking forward to that day, we can relax, watch what we want on tv, stay up all night, and do what we want

[ginapeterb]

Thanks Joe, appreciate that mate, its heaven when she goes, hahahahaha, yes you can stay up all night if you want watching movies, have a few beers, leave the cans on the table, without any saying "RETURN THOSE CANS TO THE TRASH"

You can watch match of the day without a sulking Filipina saying, enough na !
then you can go to bed when you want..and not when she demands it.

your missing out...Joe...take care mate