Results 1 to 30 of 30

Thread: let's put an end to "HELP!!! problem with brit bf"

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Respected Member ginapeterb's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    London South East England
    Posts
    2,246
    Rep Power
    96
    Princess Dhang

    I can sympathise with you, in that with the benefit of hindsight, you are now regretting making your rather impromptu comments about your dealings with your new found boyfriend.

    In restrospect I can now detect that there is an issue of mild embarassment on your part since your original post may have been written whilst you suffered a mild amount of irritation of what seemed at first glance a rather childish response to your off the cuff remark to your BF.

    The beauty of this asynchronous bulletin board is that you will receive a wealth of views, some suportive, and on the other side of the coin, some not so supportive.

    As Keith quite rightly points out, your initial comments led us all to believe that you were asking for advice about what you should do in the situation as you presented it to the forum.

    The Forum can only respond based on the information you supplied, given the narrowness of the facts you placed before us, there is little wonder that some such as myself suggested your BF was acting like a baby, I myself told you in my comment that he had spat out his dummy.

    Having since told us that your BF has lost his dear Mother, and there are other factors in his life (If they be true) that have caused him to not be his normal self, then we could all sympathise with his state of mind, and perhaps at this moment in time, he is not disposed towards the extra responsibility of a relationship with you that he has just embarked upon.

    My own advice to you, is that at present, it is early days for the both of you, I would hasten to add however, that whilst you could legitamately say that this man is your BF, a very loose term on internet, I assume at present that you have not actually met each other as yet.

    If that is the case, then at present what you have is an internet chat friendship, that may lead to a meeting at some point, I hope it does, then you will perhaps gain an insight into what this man is really like, whether the two of you will get along, and if so, will it lead to something more permanent in the future.

    There have been numerous cases that I have witnessed, where couples have chatted for nearly two years on internet, and never have they met, I have one personal experience of a Filipina chat freind of mine, who has been chatting to me for 3 years, and as yet I have never met her, she had a British Boyfreind for 2 years, who promised her he would come and visit, he continued to do this for the whole 2 years, he gave one excuse after the other, until finally about a year ago, she gave up on him, and got on with her life.


    I relate this story because it illustrates clearly, that until you have met someone and lived with them in close proximity for a reasonable length of time, you don't really know them well enough to make a judgement on them.

    Don't get me wrong, I think many of us on this forum can put their hands up and say, "hey it was great when I used to fly out to Manila, and meet my girl in Manila, and then off downtown to Makati and checking into the Shangri la or the Intercon, meals out in Oakwood, and shopping trips to Glorietta, trust me we have all done it, and yes, I am sure we would all agree, the sex was great...(Keith no dirty comments please !)

    But when the real life begins, that is back in UK, trudging to work every day trying to etch out a living, and realizing, hey..he leaves his socks on the floor, hey, she cooks that awful smelling fish with vinegar...yuk....yuk...I am passing out with the fumes of her special meal...

    Then you know if this is going to last forever ?

    As I said Princess Dhang...hahaha its early days yet for you...I wish you well...Let me know how it goes, in about 3 years will you...then we will get a real insight into your relationship.

    In the meantime...enjoy the courtship rituals wont you....and the teasers...and being pakipot...its a fun time...

    Best of luck with your new BF of 3 weeks.


  2. #2
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Somewhere else
    Posts
    23,162
    Rep Power
    150
    3wks to some people is a long time, i 'work' with someone who first meet his wife in a tent in the desert twice for an hour a time, then she was asked, would she marry him, she said yes and within in days they were married, and within 3wks she was in the UK.


  3. #3
    andypaul's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    london well away from those people up norf
    Posts
    4,932
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    3wks to some people is a long time, i 'work' with someone who first meet his wife in a tent in the desert twice for an hour a time, then she was asked, would she marry him, she said yes and within in days they were married, and within 3wks she was in the UK.
    Like Pete says he told you he met for two hours etc but who ever helped him with his application may not quite have said that. Remeber most of us have had to come to sites like this because prior to our relationships we had no idea about visas etc.
    People from certain backgrounds i have met seem to be walking reference guides due to the amount of cousins and other relations they know who have gone though the process.

    Remeber also because they are from a similar cutural and racial background the ecos think it must be more natural (ie them being pc correct in a rasict way). If we had cousins abroad and said we would marry them i bet the eco would make alsorts of enquirys with certain backgrounds its the norm ie pakistan so no one would blink an eye.

    rant over must go j j jog in the c cc cold


  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    beautiful belfast-now/beautiful bayawan-future!
    Posts
    1,979
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by andypaul View Post
    Like Pete says he told you he met for two hours etc but who ever helped him with his application may not quite have said that. Remeber most of us have had to come to sites like this because prior to our relationships we had no idea about visas etc.
    People from certain backgrounds i have met seem to be walking reference guides due to the amount of cousins and other relations they know who have gone though the process.

    Remeber also because they are from a similar cutural and racial background the ecos think it must be more natural (ie them being pc correct in a rasict way). If we had cousins abroad and said we would marry them i bet the eco would make alsorts of enquirys with certain backgrounds its the norm ie pakistan so no one would blink an eye.

    rant over must go j j jog in the c cc cold

    rant more
    i like it

    t


  5. #5
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Somewhere else
    Posts
    23,162
    Rep Power
    150


    why doesn't the gov just come up with and publish some set minimum limits when applying for a spouse visa, maybe they will, they are suppose to be simplifying immigration law in april.

    Accommodation - as now you need to have somewhere for your spouse to live and enough room.

    Finances - say you need to earn minimum of £15k a year and have savings of £3k

    Relationship - evidence that you have known them for at least 3 or 6 months..

    just a minimum set of published standards so people have a better idea of what evidence they need to send with a visa app, and also have a higher success rate as you know what the minimum limits are .. and one set standard for ALL


  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    beautiful belfast-now/beautiful bayawan-future!
    Posts
    1,979
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post


    why doesn't the gov just come up with and publish some set minimum limits when applying for a spouse visa, maybe they will, they are suppose to be simplifying immigration law in april.

    Accommodation - as now you need to have somewhere for your spouse to live and enough room.

    Finances - say you need to earn minimum of £15k a year and have savings of £3k

    Relationship - evidence that you have known them for at least 3 or 6 months..

    just a minimum set of published standards so people have a better idea of what evidence they need to send with a visa app, and also have a higher success rate as you know what the minimum limits are .. and one set standard for ALL

    and

    Names -- Your Initials must be T.L.
    Eyes -- You must have blue eyes


  7. #7
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Somewhere else
    Posts
    23,162
    Rep Power
    150
    yes and you've got to be from England


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. "There was a problem while trying to connect with Worldpay'
    By tinzky19 in forum UK VISA/British Citizenship
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 9th April 2014, 02:05
  2. "Not in the public interest" to publish aborted unwanted girls data
    By Dedworth in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 9th March 2013, 01:01
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 26th February 2013, 20:17
  4. APPLICATION FORM "How to" "What to"
    By brokenpieces in forum Help & Advice
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 13th April 2012, 23:39
  5. Brit Businessman "Abducted" in the philippines
    By Sim11UK in forum News - Philippines
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 18th May 2008, 17:03

Visitors found this page by searching for:

powered by vBulletin how to help someone understand their emotional state

SEO Blog

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Filipino Forum : Philippine Forum