Princess_Dhang/HELP!!! problem with brit bf/Neil from York

[IainBusby]

Hi All,
I just wondered if any of the other members on here has come accross any other "Neil's" on their travels around Phils. I just ask because I came accross this bloke who was obviously a brit in a Manila hotel. I was just stopping over in Manila for the night as my flight was at 10:00am the following morning. We started to chat while he was waiting for his gf to get ready - I use the term "gf" very loosely. It turns out that he had just arrived from Hong Kong that day and had been to Davao before that. He then told me he was only staying in Manila for 4 days cos he had another "gf" to visit in Cebu. It turns out he was a self employed building contractor from London but all of his gf's thought he was some sort of high powered businessman who only had time to visit for very short stays. What worried me even more was that he told me that he had a quite a few mates in the building trade who all do the same thing between jobs and he said that it's so easy to do because Filipinas fall in love so easily are so gullible when it comes to westerners.
Iain.

[kimmi]

oh that was really too bad to hear Iain, some people really took advantage of other people's weaknesses..

but still, there's a Karma..in time he will pay off what he did to my fellow filipinas..i am sure he will soon find somebody who will get him even..

Goodluck on him.

[Bridget]

Yes that is really awful and I feel so sorry for his victims.

[KeithD]

Not forgetting the Filipina scammers who screw Western men for money, works both ways......and then the Nigerians who screw Westerners & Filipina's

[fred]

What worried me even more was that he told me that he had a quite a few mates in the building trade who all do the same thing between jobs

Polish fella was he?

I was in the building game for 27 years..I never heared from a single one that had visited Manila or Cebu or even knew where Manila or Cebu was located on the world map...
Apart from me..lol

[KeithD]

Most builders only know where the pub & bookies are!

[andypaul]

I have heard of people in the buliding trade going of to thailand, phill and other places due to the seasonal nature and contract type of the work.

[ginapeterb]

Ian,

This Neil character comes from the comment I posted about, his type of activity is called Butterflying ! in Thailand its quite common for Brits, Aussies, Americans, Germans, Italians Dutchman etc to go out to Pattaya, and stay for about anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 weeks.

The Butterfly is hated by the Girls in country, because he moves from girl to girl, he is the artful dodger, in that he starts in 1 hotel, normally furthest away from the bars he visits, then moves to other hotels, changes his address etc, and takes a different girl to his room every few days.

In the Philippines it is also quite common in my experiences, The Neils of this life are as common as pebbles on the beach, They are often long term members of Filipinaheart.com or AsianEuro.com, or cherry blossoms, those type of online members only sites.

They strike up online relationships very quickly with girls looking for western boyfriends.

In some ways, you are right, the girls are at their most vulnerable because very often they display the attributes that the girls are looking for, they pass themselves off as executives, businessman, business owners, company directors, I heard of one experience where one guy passed himself off as a First Officer of a Jumbo 747, and that he flying a scheduled flight to the Philippines, he even dressed himself in a uniform he got at a fancy dress shop.

He was kitted out with a First officers uniform for British Airways, with white shirt, 3 ring epalettes on his short, jacket, hat and everything else that goes with it.

The young Filipina is an easy target because you are right, she falls in love very quickly, Filipinos by nature are easy to trap in their own cultural identity, they can be emotional, just look at Filipino television, you will see most of the programmes and Tagalog movies are about love stories, or love stories that have gone wrong.

Relationships that have broken, girls crying on T.V. the Spanish were very much like that, I wonder if this trait is inherited from the Spanish, or the Portuguese, this emotion gene they carry is part of the problem, when it comes to love and marriage, they bestow on the western buttefly the qualities they themselves have come to expect.

And when they hear promises of "I will come to visit you" they are excited by the thought of it, the other problem is, that very often, you cannot discount the theory, that they themselves are wanting to get out of the Philippines, and are in the majority of cases, willing to make such a relationship work, if it means a better life, they make the required sacrifices to achieve this.

The Neils of the world, come with false promises of a new life, big money, nice house, nice clothes, a car, "you wont have to work my little flower" or you can work for your family if you want !, and their overtures of marriage, soon lead the girls into parting with their bodies and unwittingly, they enter into the world of the butterfly.

Promises of engagement, a ring and big money are powerful persuaders in the war of the sexes, it will continue to happen, and nothing we say here will stop it.

People are scammed every day, Keith has already said, their is the reverse side of the coin, where scamming Filipinas do exactly the same thing to men from the western countries, they have an agenda, and they wilfully ensnare vulnerable guys to come over, and fall in love with them, only to find that later on after they have arrived in country, got thier permanent residency visa's have then either moved on into the system or moved to a younger man, or other situation, they had no intention in the first place of making the relationship work.

Such is life...yes Ian they are out there....and will continue to be there..
I am glad that my relationship and yours and many others on this forum is not representative of them...

[IanB]

Pete,

I think there is a big difference here. The butterflies of Thailand and elsewhere make no secret of "playing the field" and sleeping with different women every night. That may be distasteful to most of us, but it has a kind of honesty about it!

THe "Neil" character seems a stretch nastier. Rather than just sex, he wants an emotional thrill too, and is deliberately hurting the women he meets. In a way he is demonstrating his power and their weakness, and, to me, that makes him a very nasty and also very dangerous person.

Of course, I know Thai women who have several boyfriends in tow, all sending them money every month, maybe some filipinos do this too.

Ian

[IainBusby]

THe "Neil" character seems a stretch nastier. Rather than just sex, he wants an emotional thrill too

Thats what struck me at the time. I mean, from what I've been told, sex can be bought very cheaply in both Bangkok and Manila and that's just ar fair exchange. But the Neil's of this world are I think, just very cheepskate and they just don't care that they are hurting these poor girls with their empty promises.

Iain.

[bornatbirth]

you are right! to do this when u can buy sex so cheap either theses guys are such cheap charlie's or they like doing this?

btw i dont know how cheap sex is?

[joebloggs]

Thats what struck me at the time. I mean, from what I've been told, sex can be bought very cheaply in both Bangkok and Manila and that's just ar fair exchange. But the Neil's of this world are I think, just very cheepskate and they just don't care that they are hurting these poor girls with their empty promises.

Iain.

maybe the guy is dillusioned, just like those who go on the x factor and think they can sing and they are just , sure cheap sex, playing a game using women, maybe hes got a bit of money, and this makes him think hes got a bit of power, and hes trying to be something hes not ..


i downloaded a tv program on the thai sex trade, it was filmed by a guy who justed finished his degree in some sort of media studies, and he went with his english g/f to thailand to make a film about the sex trade, he interviewed thai women, western guys, they both were using each other, one thai girl got close to the guy making the program, even with his g/f with him, she was emtionally blackmailing the guy to leave his g/f for her .

[kimmi]

and then what happened Joe?did the gf leave his bf because of that thai girl?

[joebloggs]

no he didn't , but he found this girl and her friend , and he was told the only way he could understand about the trade was to be with some of these girls for sometime, so he left his g/f in the hotel, and he and his cameraman took the girls out of the city, that they were born in and had never gone out of all their lifes, they made plans to take they to see some of the sites of thailand, but they were only interested in getting drunk, they stayed in the same hotel, but in different rooms, one night the girl had vanished, he was worried that something had happened to her, so he went looking for her, she wasn't answering her mobile, the next morning he found her not far from the hotel crying her eyes out, he couldn't get it of her what had happened, but she said later , still crying that could she sleep in his room that night, as she didn't want to be alone, he slept on the sofa, and she keep saying to him "please open you heart to me", "i understand you've a g/f", "don't leave me alone or i'll kill myself", soon as he could him and the camera guy left... and on the journery to the hotel the girls were saying how many guys they were engaged to and how much money they were being sent a month by them, some of them were british guys and how when one 'b/f' left they had a diffrent one visiting them weeks later..

so from the program looks like some of the girls are just using the guys, as the guys use them, but some innoncent people get caught up in the middle...

[joebloggs]

and then what happened Joe?did the gf leave his bf because of that thai girl?

to be honest shes not the sort of girl, you would introduce your friends to never mind you family, swearing, rude, bit like a scouser

but it was a bit of a distrubing program, wether these girls did it by choice or were forced to..