Advice

[tiger31]

Wow, I cannot believe some of these hostile comments here

[SimonH]

Wow, I cannot believe some of these hostile comments here

Didn't read anything too hostile, I did however read a heck of a lot of assumptions


The main one being that children weren't discussed before the marriage. It's only men that have responded so far, hopefully some of the ladies will be along to give their view soon. A lot of women have very strong maternal instincts, even more so if you're from a family orientated culture I would have thought. Maybe Chloe's husband agreed to having children but has had a change of mind, we don't know


Anyway Chloe, welcome to the forum and I hope you get everything resolved soon

[tiger31]

Didn't read anything too hostile, I did however read a heck of a lot of assumptions


The main one being that children weren't discussed before the marriage. It's only men that have responded so far, hopefully some of the ladies will be along to give their view soon. A lot of women have very strong maternal instincts, even more so if you're from a family orientated culture I would have thought. Maybe Chloe's husband agreed to having children but has had a change of mind, we don't know


Anyway Chloe, welcome to the forum and I hope you get everything resolved soon

Well, that,s what I was thinking, how many men promise the earth to their spouses to impress them, and when they arrive they change their minds.

Nearly all filipinas want kids at some point in their marriage. And Lordna, you said the most bizarre thing I,ve ever heard in my life. At least in the UK filipinas can escape from their abusive partners instead of being stuck with someone because they can,t afford the annulment.

So you think you should be married to someone for life no matter what the circumstances ?

[lordna]

Well, that,s what I was thinking, how many men promise the earth to their spouses to impress them, and when they arrive they change their minds.

Nearly all filipinas want kids at some point in their marriage. And Lordna, you said the most bizarre thing I,ve ever heard in my life. At least in the UK filipinas can escape from their abusive partners instead of being stuck with someone because they can,t afford the annulment.

So you think you should be married to someone for life no matter what the circumstances ?

Putting it into perspective, we are not talking about an abusive relationship here BUT the situation, on face value, seems to be she wants a divorce because her partner doesn't want children.

NO I don't believe a couple should stay together no matter the circumstances BUT I do think Divorce is too easily come by here. IMHO Grahams advice was sound in that they should explore other avenues before considering divorce and I believe this was advice given on the understanding that maybe the OP had not considered other options.

However, you're right about filipina's wanting children at some point in their marriage and perhaps her husband should have known that.

It's difficult giving an opinion here without offending someone but if you ask for the views of others you will get a variety of responses which can only be on the scant details provided.

Filipinas often escape from their abusive partners by no longer living with them, but do remain married (in legal terms) so I understand.

[tiger31]

Putting it into perspective, we are not talking about an abusive relationship here BUT the situation, on face value, seems to be she wants a divorce because her partner doesn't want children.

NO I don't believe a couple should stay together no matter the circumstances BUT I do think Divorce is too easily come by here. IMHO Grahams advice was sound in that they should explore other avenues before considering divorce and I believe this was advice given on the understanding that maybe the OP had not considered other options.

However, you're right about filipina's wanting children at some point in their marriage and perhaps her husband should have known that.

It's difficult giving an opinion here without offending someone but if you ask for the views of others you will get a variety of responses which can only be on the scant details provided.

Filipinas often escape from their abusive partners by no longer living with them, but do remain married (in legal terms) so I understand.

In my opinion anybody considering marrying a filippina should discuss the topic of children as a matter of priority before going ahead with the relationship. Like I've said, nobody knows the in and outs of the OP,s situation until she speaks out a bit more. As for marriage, I am so glad that I lived together for 15 years with my last partner, as it was a stress-free parting without the leech lawyers getting involved playing one against the other. You do not need a piece of paper to prove you love someone. Less and less people are getting married these days to a point where the ones that live together outnumber the people that are married. But saying that, if my g,f wants to get married then I will if she feels that it,s a need in her opinion. But I prefer things the way they are.

[Terpe]

......how many men promise the earth to their spouses to impress them, and when they arrive they change their minds.....

There are plenty. Probably more than you'd imagine.
I've been personally involved with at least half a dozen who are just incapable of standing up to the mark.