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[grahamw48]

Hi Jack.

What a nightmarish situation to be in.

I have heard about this sort of thing happening to guys before. Only you know all the details about your past and current relationship with your wife and the child, so you're going to have to do some heart-searching and decide how this revelation is going to affect your feelings in the future, and if you're going to be able to live with it. Will things get any better ? Will it eat away at you ?

You have been treated unfairly if this 'rape' wasn't discussed with you before you married.

I know others will think I'm perhaps being a bit cold-hearted, but having also been misled by my (ex) Asawa about equally important matters, I can empathise with you and the mental turmoil that you'll be experiencing at this time.

[Michael Parnham]

Hi Jack.

What a nightmarish situation to be in.

I have heard about this sort of thing happening to guys before. Only you know all the details about your past and current relationship with your wife and the child, so you're going to have to do some heart-searching and decide how this revelation is going to affect your feelings in the future, and if you're going to be able to live with it. Will things get any better ? Will it eat away at you ?

You have been treated unfairly if this 'rape' wasn't discussed with you before you married.

I know others will think I'm perhaps being a bit cold-hearted, but having also been misled by my (ex) Asawa about equally important matters, I can empathise with you and the mental turmoil that you'll be experiencing at this time.

Well said Graham!

[joebloggs]

You have been treated unfairly if this 'rape' wasn't discussed with you before you married.
.

I'm sure some women would understandably want to block it out of their minds and couldn't tell their partners about it

[grahamw48]

I'm sure some women would understandably want to block it out of their mind and couldn't tell their partner about it

You may shake your head, but that's my opinion of the situation Joe, and not something I want to debate about. It's not a thread about politics. The OP is asking for advice.

When you have been in the position of being expected to take care of another man's child AFTER you've already married the mother (even worse when you were led to believe it was yours), then you will have a better understanding of the situation, and the emotions involved from the MAN's point of view. A marriage has to be based on trust.

[joebloggs]

You may shake your head, but that's my opinion of the situation Joe, and not something I want to debate about. It's not a thread about politics. The OP is asking for advice.

When you have been in the position of being expected to take care of another man's child AFTER you've already married the mother (even worse when you were led to believe it was yours), then you will have a better understanding of the situation, and the emotions involved from the MAN's point of view. A marriage has to be based on trust.

The headshaking is not about what you have just posted but about the fact that some women can't or don't want to talk about the traumatic experience of rape.

I don't know how many women or children Savile raped if any at all, but it's taken some of his victims 4 decades for them to be able to talk about what he did to them.

Also the section of your post I quoted, you state before marriage not after.

[jack86]

You may shake your head, but that's my opinion of the situation Joe, and not something I want to debate about. It's not a thread about politics. The OP is asking for advice.

When you have been in the position of being expected to take care of another man's child AFTER you've already married the mother (even worse when you were led to believe it was yours), then you will have a better understanding of the situation, and the emotions involved from the MAN's point of view. A marriage has to be based on trust.

Thanks Graham - means a lot...