Friendly advice PLS

[cheesewiz]

If you read my post in the 'Introduce yourself' that I am dating a Brit for 5 months now and I am going to Phils for 4 weeks vacation sa Dec after 3 years of working hard here in UK. He wants to go with me to meet my family to see Phils as well. But Im not sure if I want him to go with me because Im looking forward to this vacation for 3 years of hard work to spend quality time with my family that I miss so much. Another thing is, our house has no spare room to accomodate him it means he's going to stay in hotel which is ok with him but it means as well that I need to see him from time to time I can't stay with him because my parents are conservative So, Im like torn between two lovers right now

I have a decision already but he didn't know yet that I decided not go with me for our own good. Do you think I am being selfish here???

[joebloggs]

no your not, just tell him the truth, that you'll be rushing around everywhere, meeting old friends and maybe staying at their place at night time, and you don't want to . whats the word hmm impose your b/f on them

and can your b/f get 4wks off work, maybe he could go for 2wks and then go back home alone ? or

he can go next time

[cheesewiz]

no your not, just tell him the truth, that you'll be rushing around everywhere, meeting old friends and maybe staying at their place at night time, and you don't want to . whats the word hmm impose your b/f on them

he can go next time

salamat mr joe for your reply. I hope there is next time. He might take it in different way.

[IanB]

If I were him I would want to come. He needs to see your life and family - presumably you have had plenty of chances to understand his life and meet his family?

Why not get him to meet your family and then suggest he takes some time to go on a tour as he will soon get bored with the family?

Ian

[cheesewiz]

Hi everyone thanks for the time and effort to read my post I really appreciate all your advice.

Anyway, of course I would like him to meet my family, friends and to see the Phils as well. I told him the other day that I decided not to go with me and there is next time anyway and I explained everything possibly I could the reason why he can't go with me. Unfortunately, as i expected it didn't turn good I understand him but I feel that he didn't understand me at all. So, I don't know what's next with us after this I'm a bit fed up but thinking of me going home and see my family again that's makes me cheer up.

But I'm still hoping for the best out of this and let you know Salamat ng marami!!!!

[bornatbirth]

whatever u do stand up for urself!

just explain to ur bf how u feel and you just want to spend time with him alone and how you dont want ur family there to get in the way,why not spend a week or 2 with him and then meet ur family?
im sure theres a easy solution.

[London_Nose]

how old are yoU? I hope you are old enough to drive, old enough to have a drink and old enough to be with him, cmon, you been here for 3 years working hard and now seeing him and introducing him to your family is pain in the head?, well i guess your BF is also old enough to be your husband or else your family might really scold you to death, or ur afraid becoz maybe ur ex boyfriend might know that you brought somebody else from UK or ex-husband kaya hehehehe... peace.

[cheesewiz]

Hello everyone! After a heart to heart talk again with my BF about him not going with me in the Phils he suggested to me that if he can go to Phils for 10 days before I'll go back to UK so he can't spoil my time with my family which is very acceptable to me. He's going to Hongkong for a week then to Phils. About to London_Nose advice/comment, for you info I am very much single. Age is not a measure to know what is good or not for you. Im 34 and he's 40. He's divorced and one child.

Sa lahat ng nag advice, maraming salamat.

[IanB]

Sounds good to me. Might have been better if you had come up with the positive suggestion?

Ignore London Nose. He's very picky.

Ian

[kimmi]

hi cheesewiz,

I am glad that everything is sorted now with u, ur family and bf..
it only shows that good communication is the best thing to solve the problem..

God bless and have safe trip soon..

kimmi

[andypaul]

Hello everyone! After a heart to heart talk again with my BF about him not going with me in the Phils he suggested to me that if he can go to Phils for 10 days before I'll go back to UK so he can't spoil my time with my family which is very acceptable to me. He's going to Hongkong for a week then to Phils. About to London_Nose advice/comment, for you info I am very much single. Age is not a measure to know what is good or not for you. Im 34 and he's 40. He's divorced and one child.

Sa lahat ng nag advice, maraming salamat.

great news that you both have sorted out just shows its best to talk things though and in most cases there is always a way to sort out things to everyones advantage.

[cinmickey28]

Hello Cheesewiz, that is very nice to know that u were able to sort out your worries and that just shows the beauty of having open communication with each other.

[cheesewiz]

Good day to all. Yup, communication is the best thing to solve the problem (if both parties are willing to listen) on our part its really a miss communication at first but since things ok now that's why we're both happy with the out come.

Baka kasal na kasunod....hahaha joke lang po!!! May be in 2 or 3 years time if we're still together, who knows. All my friends can't wait to see me walking in the aisle soon and they want me to get married here in UK so they can attend but I said kahit gurang na ako I need to wait for the right time if not so be it diba! The most impt thing in life is you are enjoying it and live with it....

Salamat uli