Terpe - yes and yes - everything feels right, honestly. I would marry him tomorrow.
As far as I can see we meet all the criteria for the fiancee visa. The visit visa I'm much less confident about because of the reasons for return.
The fiancee visa times says 2 - 3 months - is that fairly accurate in your experience? Also, once (if) the visa is granted and he's here is he free to go back there and come back here as much as he wants to?
Also, I'm not sure what an acceptable period would be to apply for on a visit visa. Plus, then he'll have to go back again and we'll have to do the fiancee visa later. In a way I just feel like it's dragging out the angst. (I'm not coping with it very well already.)