Being in love with a Filipino Citizen - the real cost !

[ginapeterb]

Project Filipino - just how much does it really cost ?

Initial estimates UK 15,000 to UK 20,000 or PHP 1.4 Million to Php 1.9 Million.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a piece about the real costs of courting a Filipino citizen long distance, it was transferred over from the old version of the forum we had before, so I was having a think today about renewing some of this information, plus there are many new members on the forum, and since then we have acquired lots of new interested ones.

I am now compiling a new timeline of the true costs of project Philippines, I am sure you will all have a laugh at this one..so read on and have fun.

The object of compiling this new post is to go over some of the experiences I have had, and those of some of my close freinds and colleagues who have shared there experiences with me over the last couple of years.

<div align="center">PROJECT PHILIPPINES</div align>


Stage 1 - Introduction to Project Philippines - Sparring and teasers


The first stage is often not taken into consideration, but there is some cost involved, although not always factored in, sparring is a term often used to describe the initital stages that couples go through when the guy pushes out the teasers to see whether the object of his teasers is interested.

1. Costs of memberships of online dating portals, such as FH CB or AE
(Filipinaheart) (Asianeuro) (Cherry Blossoms) and such as these, cost can be around UK30.00 for a limited number of months memberships.

At this stage there is hardly any noticable impact on your wallet, but hold on...its early days as yet.

2. You decide to start calling her, see increases in your cellphone bill, at 25p per international text, you can spend sometimes UK400.00 a month alone on just texting, dont poo poo it, I know of someone last month who spent over £400.00 on just texting his girl in the Philippines.

3. You start to call her on the 0871 10p or the 7p per minute numbers, these look like a local call on your landline, with BT or NTL or other provider, they can start to increase your landline bill by 70 per cent a month, average costs per month are around £60.00 to £80.00 and that is based on saying good morning to her for about 10 minutes when you wake up to get ready for work, and lncludes saying goodnight to her before you go to bed as she wakes up in the morning.

4. Skype, assuming she is online, (but what if she is not), you can talk for free on skype, but the reality is much different when you consider at the times when you want to reach her, she is not available, or their is a brownout, or the broadband is down, or someone nicked the cables for the broadband in her area.

That normally means it takes PLDT or Bayantel or GLOBE 6 weeks to repair the nicked cables, so you call her on her cellphone on T2 Phone cards or other phone card provider.

Cost of Phone cards, between £10.00 to £20.00 per day, depending on how love sick you are...I know of one British guy who spends about £80.00 a week on phone cards, calls his girl about 4 times a day, and chats on average for about 1 hour per call.

5. Internet charges - broadband fixed fee per month £10.00 to £29.00 depending on deal, one guy I know spends 8 hours a day chatting to his girl, although its free, he upped his bandwidth package from £10.00 to £29.00 on BT Total Broadband Option 4, thus with advance charges and V.A.T. his quarterly bill is over £200.00 with 0871 numbers to call Philippine landlines and mobiles.


Remember you lot out there - this is only the sparring stage, she hasnt said yes to you yet ! And contrary to what you might think, you have no idea whether this is the one as yet, and you have not met.


Stage 2 - The Initial meeting in Philippines

1. Your first vacation fly/try to meet your loved one, this is a requirement that you must have met your intended, this is the minimum requirement for a VAF2 2004 Fiancee visa.

Round trip air tickets to Philippines to Manila/Cebu, between £600.00 to £1000.00 depending on duration of visit, time of year etc.

Accomodation costs in Manila/Cebu/Davao/CGO/Gensan/Tagbiliran/Tacloban/Dumaguete/Bacolod/Zamboanga/Naga/ etc hotel rooms for a 3 week stay around £300.00

Food for your visit x 2, because not only do you require funds for your costs, you must remember, you will also pay for your little flowers costs as well, and her brothers, and her sisters, and her Mothers and her Fathers, unless your girl is an orphan, you need a minimum of £2000.00 for a 3 week flytry.

Any Flytry would not be complete without a trip to Boracay, cost of flights on Asian Spirit to Boracay from Cebu or Manila, costs around £50.00 a return flight, for the two of you, hotel accomodation in Boracay, costs again around £25.00 a night, drinks, meals, boat trips, massages, shopping.

Honey I must have a new cellphone !

A Cellphone for your girl, latest phone, camera phone, latest gadgets, not the old style, they dont want it if its old, they want the latest, costs around £150.00 to £300.00 depending on features, no contracts generally purchased on pay as you go, she will want to be contactable for you.

Gifts and tokens of intent to enter into binding courtship with a view to marriage.

1. Chocolates - Thornton's chocolates or Swiss style chocolates to give to her and her siblings and Tito's and Tita's and cousins.

2. M&M's Chocolates (not bought in Philippines or at NAIA) purchased in UK and carried, good to give out to all the family.

3. Fragrances - purchased in London signature labels, not sub-prime names, from Perfume shops etc, good to give out to Tita's and Sisters of lady.
Fushion power razors, with spare blades, around a fiver a pack, with Shaving cream good for giving out to Tito's (uncles), Tatay (Father) and Kuya's (brothers).
4. Watches, things of E-bay, again good to give siblings such as kuya's (brothers).
5. Canned goods - Tins of Corned Beef, Salami, Corned Beef Hash, Tinned Sardines, a clear winner with Tatay's (Father of the lady)
6. Soaps and shampoos purchased in UK, from boot fairs and flea markets, lots of them, take extra suitcase full of these if you can. (give to your lady - she will distribute for you)
7. Toothpaste, battery operated toothbrushes, get 20 or so for about £3.00 each, again your lady will give them out for you, dont worry, she will find a home for them.
8. England football shirts with 3 lions logo, from sports and soccer, all sizes, small medium and also smaller sizes if possible for nephews in family.
9. T Shirts, all sizes, S M L preferably from London with London motifs on, very good for giving out to family - highly prized (not bought in Philippines) ( bought by you in UK)
10. Deodorant sprays, colognes, after shaves, UK Branded lables, not Filipino, must be purchased by you in UK, highly prized for Brothers, Fathers, Uncles and Nephews.
11.Toblerone chocolate bars, Cadbury's Heroes, Quality Street, Mint chocolates, anything like these, again only from UK.
12. Ear ring sets, fashion ones, accessories, make up sets, again good for female family members, like cousins, Tita's Sisters etc.


All of the above or some of them will be purchased by you at some stage during the courtship, they are generally a demonstration of your regard and respect for the extended family, the thing is, they all cost money.

Stage 3 - Maintaining your girl now she is your fiancee or regular GF

1. Phone bills continue to rise, texting, calling, phone cards, flowers for suprises, gifts by fedex DHL.

2. Monthly allowance for your girl - Php 10,000 to Php 30,000 or if you have deep pockets, Php 50,000 and above. This varies according to affordability.

3. Nail treatments, Hair and beauty treatments, shoes, clothes, all have to be new, she is with a British now, you dont want people to think you cannot afford to maintain her.

Stage 4 - The Marriage in the Philippines Vacation.

1. A Return trip should you choose to marry in the Philippines, this could include Round Trip air tickets, Accommodation, Food, Honeymoon, Wedding costs, etc the cost for this one off expense is around UK 3000.00 to UK 5000.00.

2. Passport photos needed along the way. UK 10.00
3. Passport photos required for you in various forms needed by authorities in Philippines around UK 15.00
4. Cost of submitting An Application on VAFW 2004 for Spouse visa, Php 50,000 or UK 550.00.
5. Cost of obtaining a CNI (Certificate of no Impediment to marriage) in UK, the cost is around £30.00
6. Cost of obtaining a local CNI (Legal Capacity for marriage) in the Philippines - cost will be around £25.00
7. Cost of round trip tickets for you and your loved one to travel from Provinces to attend CFO Seminar (Commission for Filipinos overseas) in Manila/Cebu including hotel. Cost around £150.00
8Cost of CFO Seminar £2.00
9. Cost of new Passport for your loved one, approximately £35.00
10. Cost of Applying for duplicate birth certificates at NSO (National Statistics office) in Philippines is circa £25.00
11. Cost of Marriage License in locality of Marriage if in Philippines £35.00
Cost of Air Ticket for your loved one to Come to UK once visa is approved, from £650.00 to £1000.00

Stage 5 - Project Philippines gets ready for UK arrival.

1. One time cost of buying warm clothes associated with her transit to a colder climate, new Boots, winter clothes, jackets, coats, umbrella, mittens, scarf, woollies, Electric blanket for the bed,

2. Money for a Rice cooker ! £25-45.00
3. Cost of round trip ticket for possible 2nd visit to be available to British Embassy should your presence be required at interview for settlement (VAF2004) Cost including hotels, food, gifts, expenses, £2000-£3000.

4. Despedida de Soltera, (leaving party and goodbye to singleness for the Filipina)

She might want to throw a leaving party for all her friends, work colleagues, and family cost likely to be around £50.00 to £150.00

Arrival in UK

1. Budget for increased telephone usage during first few months when she arrives in UK - calling cards, BT, NTL World, etc, bills increase rapidly cost around £100-£400.00 per month, it soon adds up. Try to use SKYPE.

2. Costs of obtaining special foods for her like, trips to Manila Supermarket, trips to fish markets, etc, obtaining Asian foods, extra cost £100.00 per month. (Filipino branded products are expensive and are imported.)

3. Costs of her own special allowance if on Fiancee visa, (she cannot work) around £50.00 to £250.00 depending on your finances and generosity.

4. Driving lessons if she has a desire to learn to drive on UK roads, £1000.00 to £3000.00 over a 1 year period for driving lessons.

5. Extra insurances for your car, upping your no claims bonus premium from reasonable to extortionate.

6. Heavens forbid she wants a new car, costs for a used car from £1500.00 to £4000.00 or a new car, £7000.00 to £15000.00

7, Increased costs of showing her around, trips to the Capital, Costs of initial 2 months together, entertainment, showing her around, taking her to London, or Manchester or Sheffield, or Cardiff, or Birmingham, or Edinbrough or Glasgow, etc etc, in other words, its costs money to take her around, your visits to places you dont normally go will increase, you have to factor in, that your initial 6 months will be a new time for her.

Stage 6 - The real life commences - Miss Bilmoko !

1. Shopping trips to the mall, forget walks in the country, english historical sites, pubs by the sea, castles and country houses, strolls down the country lane, cycling, walking, get your wallet ready.

2. Bags, shoes, tops, jeans, trousers, shoes, and more shoes, belts, acccessorize, fragrances, boots high leg, be prepared to buy new high leg boots, and a partridge in a pear tree.

3. Remittances back home for urgent requests.

Expect to have to send some money back home to Philippines for susento for the extended family, dont think it wont happen to you, or my girl never asks me for anything.

Sustento, write it in your diary, it can be from £100.00 to £250.00 per month.

4. Extra sustento for life threatening emergencies, such as Doctor bill, hospital fees, surgeons fees, broken roofs, typhoon damage, sick caribao vet bills ( that was my joke) they dont really ask you for that.

5. The investing Filipina - Honey we should get into real estate.

Consider money for house and lot, but more for multiple lots, investment property, gold jewellry for investment purposes.

Swarosvki, Tagheuer watches, Calvin Klein, Armani, Juicy Couture, Mulberry, Chloe, and Dolce and Gabanna, 14 or 18 carat gold items in case of financial difficulty, they can always be pawned when money is short.

6. Be prepared for the jeepney business, or the tricylce business, put money aside for purchasing a tri-cycle for brother, or a female caribao for the family.

I cant think of anything further, but last but not least, the anulment, you might have to stump up a further Php 180,000 to 220,000 for her anulment, and just hope you are not one of them.


If anyone can think of anything else, I am all ears, Ive seen it all and Ive witnessed it all.

Best of luck those who come after me...

Now what did I say was it 15,000 or 20,000

Anecdote

In august this year, I was sitting with a friend of mine from the British expat community in Bacolod City, Visayas, we were sitting in Bobs having a coffee, when all of sudden we noticed an American sitting at a table having a coke, about 5 minute later we observed a young Filipina come in to see him and sat at his table, they exchanged eye contact, a little chikka, and then she ordered a drink.

You could see he was excited to see her, she was fluttering her eyelids, he was all smiles, they had obviously just met, maybe he had come to Phils just to see her for his fly/try.

My good freind John, who is in his 70's and has lived in Philippines for about 10 years leaned over and said, "You know Pete, I do hope that girl is an orphan for his sake

The 2 of us gave out a huge laughter and carried on, lamenting on the fact, that our girls families were very compact and small, and we thank God for being so fortunate in that situation.

[bigtombowski]

is this based on your experience peter?

[ginapeterb]

Tom,

Its based on a compilation of experiences, some of my own, some of one or two of my best pals who have Filipino wives of some years, and various others that have written to me, I would say there are about 20 or 30 experiences here rolled into one peice of written work, why do you ask ?

[bigtombowski]

it is coz i read your original piece on this when i was considering a relationship with a filipina, and i am 8 months into the relationship now, and i am keen to know more about the amount it's gonna cost me to pursue this relationship to it's fullest conclusion -- a happy marriage

how much did u end up spending?? (conservative estimate adjusted for inflation please) -- if i am not being too personal and nosey

thank you

tom

[andypaul]

Don't forget the little mistakes your wife makes like accidentally ringing phill on her mobile or landline

Or the effort you go to rush out to a western union or transfer money to an account so the emgency is dealt with. Every month i go let me know a few days in advance when they need to pay schools, tutor or some other fees every month its left to the last mintue

[bigtombowski]

gosh hehehe

[andypaul]

gosh hehehe

I can't give you a figure because every situation and familly is different.

My advice is go into mega saving mode. Like Pete writes so well the heating bill, phone bill will be much higher. Also what will Mars do when she is here at first? Dvd hire, magazines snacks more snacks. You will suddenly notice Phill foods, fresh fruits and veg your wife may require for dishs cost more at various times of the year. Our local green grocer due to the local huge imgriant population holds fruits i have never heard of, but things like the phill type mangos might cost 6 pound a box If your not so lucky to have one in yourt high street you might have to travel a fair old distance.

I would say for us the first three months was ultra expensive due to no ones fault but settling in to a british winter is hard for me and i have 30 odd years exerience let a lone a phil who only felt these temperatures in the freezer before coming to the UK 6 thousand miles or so from home.

Then does your Wife want to carry on her studies, if she gets a job or studies you will need to sub her travel, food and possibly work clothes. When the wife first got a job in a neighbouring town a few occasions when doing earlies she needed a cab as waiting for a Bus at that time was to much for her to handle (She would have done it but you don't let your wife almost freeze to death do you?). All little things which a british born or raised person may not think about.

Another cost to bear in mind is i would advise getting a pay monthly phone or buy a lot of credit for her payg so she has proper freedom. My wife would have little worries or just want to ring up someone when traveling to the shops. My wifes first trip to a UK corner shop (three streets away) involved three phone calls before, during and after.

[bigtombowski]

thank u for that well thought out post andy

tom

[andypaul]

thank u for that well thought out post andy

tom

Thought out im wandering round our flats kitchen working out where the shelves and other ikea bits should go.

When people ask about applying as a couple with no savings or decent income i just shudder as it could cause so many problems for the two of them.

[bigtombowski]

of course it would! lol
imagine marrying someone here, on the dole,
then multiply it by 1000X lol

tom

[ginapeterb]

Some of you want to know what it cost me for project Philippines, well I can tell you roughly give or take £500.00 I have spent about £45,000 in the last 4 years on project Philippines, that includes requests for money, life threatening tragedies, jeepneys, carry vans, tricyles, caribaos, agricultural land, chicken farms, and anything else you can think of, including school fees for siblings, and agency fees for foreign travel.

Yep about £45,000 someone once said to me "Pete when does it stop"?

I replied "It never stops...it just goes on and on "

[andypaul]

Never worked it out exactly but that doesn't suprise me.

Tom i would defintely suggest having at least best bit of 3 to 4 months wages saved in the bank after your missus is here. Thats not to pay off ccs from your trip or mars flight over, but to ensure you have no probs helping her settle in.
If you did o/t or unsocial hours at work when Mars was in Phill suddenly you cant do it to her a little extra (firstly you dont want to and Mars will want you home asap). This could dent your income possibly.

The rest is just for normal settling of a couple in making a bacholer pad into a couples home.

Im sure your be ok you found this site early on and seem to have a sensible head on your shoulders.

[kimmi]

thats an informative post Peter, and i am now thinking what happened with my fiance's savings..he he he

but still we're glad that i dont need to go through annulment and that almost save him a £..

[joyce]

Some of you want to know what it cost me for project Philippines, well I can tell you roughly give or take £500.00 I have spent about £45,000 in the last 4 years on project Philippines, that includes requests for money, life threatening tragedies, jeepneys, carry vans, tricyles, caribaos, agricultural land, chicken farms, and anything else you can think of, including school fees for siblings, and agency fees for foreign travel.

Yep about £45,000 someone once said to me "Pete when does it stop"?

I replied "It never stops...it just goes on and on "

You are so generous Pete....Gina is very lucky to have you as her husband..

[empott]

That's too extravagant, Peter! Are there really girls like that?
On my case, my husband sends me allowance but i told him to stop sending (unless i need the money so bad). For me, paying the remittance charge of WU is a waste of money. Its better that he saved it and just spend it when i am there.
When i was still single, i do shopping alot. My mom always say that i am a high maintenance daughter. Lol But after getting married and tried living alone, i now see & know the value of money. I don't feel right spending my husband's money while he is there working his off even in a freezing weather. It's just not reasonable to be spending his hard earned money over trivial things.
IMO, Filipinas should not take advantage of the generosity of their fiances and husbands. Practicality and helping each other is important for a harmonious relationship.

[Bridget]

That's too extravagant, Peter! Are there really girls like that? It's just not reasonable to be spending his hard earned money over trivial things.
IMO, Filipinas should not take advantage of the generosity of their fiances and husbands. Practicality and helping each other is important for a harmonious relationship.

I think Empott is right. Girls should not take advantage of the generosity of their fiance or husband. When I have a regular job, I do not have financial support from my fiance. I spend my own hard-earned money if I want to buy things for myself. As for the support for the girl`s family, I`ve read some stories in the internet about foreign boyfriend become the fiancial provider not only to his filipina girlfriend or fiancee but as extend to the girl`s family, I think that is not really nice except if its the guy initiates to do it to help his gf`s family, maybe if he is so rich and really do not know what to do to his money. In my situation, I know my fiance`s financial status, given that he have some investments and personal savings and lives on his own in his own house , as much as possible Im trying to help him to save. For instance when were having holidays together, I never asked him to book an expensive hotel or bring me to expensive restaurants as long as were happy together it does not matter even we stayed in not five star hotel. When I flew to UK, I chose the cheapest flight even it was a long journey, when he ask me what do I want for my birthday, I did not ask him anything, he sent me fresh 12 red roses which I did appreciate and made me so happy.
If he asked me to buy what I want whenever were walking around the shops in the city, I hardly get things for myself unless it is necessarry such as if I need a dress for special occassion, but aside from that Im happy to spend my own money. I think that this is really my nature that Im happy to work and earn to buy what I want for myself rather than to ask him to give me money to spend. But now, I have to give up my job abroad to sort out my visa application and to spend time with my family before going back to England, he offered me a monthly financial support which is just fair. Im happy, he help me to have internet access at home, he even paid the half of the amount of my laptop. I believed that he does not need to spend a million pesos to prove me his sincerity and love to me. He`s there thru thick and thin, giving me moral support when Im troubled and lift me up when Im down. His constant love and care is more important to me than any material things that money could buy. I do not care even I can not afford to buy expensive signature brands of bags, shoes, clothes and etc what I care most is we always have a great time chatting, playing games online everyday. Guess what, I always beat him in scrabble...
So Guyz not all filipinas are materialistic, infact we are very easy to please.. You do not need to spend a million to impress us, just treat us fairly and respect us as woman we are happy and we`ll be very proud of you.

[ervenescence]

Wheeww!..grabe ang hangin naman dito..LOLZ

My husband would never brag of what damage that it cost or how much money does he spent to me.
We both work together, I used my own money to sent some to my family, and buy some of my needs. I admit he shoulder most of the expenses here in the house because he earns more than me and we both agreed with that.


btw...nice post Bridget

[Bridget]

Wheeww!..grabe ang hangin naman dito..LOLZ

My husband would never brag of what damage that it cost or how much money does he spent to me.

Thats right. I agreeman should not count how much they spent for their woman at the end of the day if you are happy with your wife or fiancee every cents, pesos or pounds worth.


btw...nice post Bridget

Thanks ervenescence. Cheers to all smart and beautiful filipinas here!

[cinmickey28]

I agree with you guys! Maybe there are some fiance and husbands who spends a lot because they ended up with materialistic and very high maintenance women and family who just want to "receive" and "receive". Good if it is being spend in the right way and not luxuriosly as they have been supported or they can have somebody to turn to when in need. Or if they are materialistic it comes from their own pocket if they work.

But for those who can live a simple way I think it will not be as expensive as it is and especially if the wife or fiancee has a decent work in the Philippines or work there in the UK.

I know of some women who have also change their lifestyles soon after marrying a foreigner or meeting foreign fiance in which is really wrong. Hope change is for the better and not the worst.

On my view, if a Pinay is being with her man out of love then she will not be taking advantage of his generosity but help and cooperate him for their future together.

With regards to investments, I think it might be okey also for as long as you will really reap the fruit of it. So, I think it still depend on the Pinay the foreign man is with. Lots have still "hiya" on not to take adavantage.

[Bridget]

I agree with you guys! Maybe there are some fiance and husbands who spends a lot because they ended up with materialistic and very high maintenance women and family who just want to "receive" and "receive".

I know of some women who have also change their lifestyles soon after marrying a foreigner or meeting foreign fiance in which is really wrong. Hope change is for the better and not for worse. So, I think it still depend on the Pinay the foreign man is with. Lots have still "hiya" on not to take adavantage.

Correct
A decent woman will not take advantage of the generosity of her bf. It also depends on the up bringing of the girlfriend. My parents taught me the value of hard work and wise spending. Im not ashame if someone will call me kuripot or thrifty, as I do not believe in spending more where I can spend less, I know girls you know what I mean. When my fiance met me four years ago I was working and Im just a simple filipina, not fussy and why should I change now? I see some filipina that becomes very high society girl the moment they have foreigner bf or fiance or hubby, they completely forget where they come from and even show to everyone that she is now rich, having extravagant life,but who knows her BF whose sending her money is having a hardtime to pay his debts or credit cards and in the end they will both suffer in the future when they eventually get married. I believed that if a woman,really loves her BF, fiance or hubby she will value every penny that her man gave to her and not to impress your whole community that you have this and that.
Cheers!

[ginapeterb]

Listen you girls, before you start moralizing on my Gina, the post I made does not indicate that my wife is materialistic money grabbing, shoes bags and gucci.

I was trying to indicate just how much the whole process can cost you, there is also some tongue in cheek and for laughs alone indications of what other things can be costed out, in different situations.

In fact, the post indicates a variety of experiences put to me over the last few years, some good some bad.

I know of one girl where the BF was sending her regularly P100,000 a month, thats more than I ever sent my girl, but he can afford it, and he is happy to do so, the politics of envy are not neccessary in this situation.

As for me, I love spending my hard earned money on my girl...she makes me happy, and she is worth it...and you girls make me laugh really with your posts about:


"Oh he doesnt have to do that for me, he just has to blah blah blah....come on you lot.....are you telling me if your numbers came up on the lotto, you would give it all back...cos youre not that kind of girl"

Kahit walang ang pera, ko ang maligaya, bastaat mahal ako


And thats my Tagalog...whether wrong gramatically, I think its readable...

Are you really telling me, that you came all that way from Philippines to live a worse life than you had before, cos if you are saying that

I don't believe you


Some readers come on and tell me "My fiance does not provide financial support for me, I spend my own money"

I dont know what they are trying to say, but generally, they are trying to make up for some deficiency in the guy they chose, when they found out, he is cheap and tight, and reklamo's all the time about giving her some dosh, dont bother with that statement, it wont work on me.

Stop moralizing and enjoy the thread....its meant to be funny !

Someone has written "They know of girls who changed their lifestyle after meeting a foreigner"

Ano ba ?? what did you think they would do then, start having 40 pesos lunches with the foreigner, decline his cellphone gift offer, refuse his offer of a new set of clothes when he is in country on holidays, hand back the ring he bought for her cos its too expensive, pay for the dinner out from her own pocket, cos she is worried hubby might be spending too much........honestly stop it, you are making me cry.

One of you said "He even pays for half of my laptop" great he is a 50 50 man then, good for him, well thats a nice gesture, I have a pal who just bought his Thai girlfreind a new laptop, admittedly he didnt ask her to pay the other 50 per cent, I also bought my lady a laptop computer, but I paid in full.

Empott i named you because your post is reasonable, you said you felt that you did not want to spend your husbands money cos he is out in the cold working hard, hmmm sounds to me like you have a nice hubby dear, he wont mind spending his money on his little flower, cos he thinks you are the love of his life....so if he wants to pamper you...let him do it, its his way of making you happy, its not about the money or how much he has, its about what he does with it, money is only a method of exchange in a modern society, you dont have to have lots of it to make another happy, sometimes it might just be a bunch of roses, chocolates, or a nice top for you, or something to say I love you.

I dont have lots of money myself really, but I enjoy using it to make my honey happy, the only thing I would say, is that without that method of exchange its so hard to buy my honey a new panties, or a pair of jeans or shoes, so money has to be had.

She is not asking for anything as you are not, its mainly me who suggests things, she is very much like some of you, she would rather work and make money to help herself, but as one of you has said, she does not make enough to make any significant impact on our household budget, so naturally I take care of all the bills and other costs.

I did not bring my girl from the Philippines to pay bills and work hard, in fact I tried to prevent her from working, but she is bored at home and wants to work, with her money she helps her family, and she is so happy doing that, she sends money every month, as they are so poor in the Philippines, and I can see her face when she sends that money...she is contented and proud.

So whoever felt I was bragging, that is not the case, I was merely trying to look at the true cost of courting someone from across the world, and dont think its only for the Philippines, I have two friends who are engaged to Thai girls and they tell me the cost is similar if not higher.

[ginapeterb]

You are so generous Pete....Gina is very lucky to have you as her husband..

Joyce thank you for that, we dont have big money Joyce, but you know I am a realist, I promised my Gina a better life, than she had in Philippines, my Gina had a very responsible position in the Philippines, but the job just does not pay enough, I just tried to make it better, we are not milionaires, but hey Joyce...if my numbers come up...


I promise you, it wont change me hehehehehehehehehe

[andypaul]

Like pete says it is expensive and guys need to have their eyes open to the money it can or could cost. With a recession looming it may not be so easy to find a job once phils come over. Also my wife at first was unable to work as most ladies find for the first few months. My wife was in uni when we first met no way could she afford a laptop just as most uk students couldnt.

[ginapeterb]

Stop press, someone who shall be nameless said they heard that foreigners become the provider for thier girls family.

Well then Guilty as charged your Majesty, since I am one who does that, I am proud to support my Father in law in the Philippines, I pay for his meds, and I bought him a truck for his business.

He loves me like no other, and I see the look in his eyes when he catches sight of me at the airport, he always comes to meet me, even though he is not well, he throws his arms around me and cuddles me, he never stops talking about his son in law in London.
He burns everyones ears with it, now he has a business he can make money from, he runs a delivery business, its not much, but the truck has changed his life.

When my Father in Law received his delivery truck, he cried, where can you buy that happiness,..its priceless and the money to make it happen


Who cares about that.....!!

[Bridget]

I can see your point of view Kuya Pete about your aim on bringing up that issue about the cost of courtships. I know that it will help to enlighten those men that are just starting or trying to look for their soulmates from abroad particularly from the Philippines. I understand that those things that you mentioned in your first post are mixture of experienced of those people you know as you said. Theres nothing wrong to be generous to the people you love especially to your wife. And you are indeed a good example of a loving and thoughtful husband.
I just wanted to clarify, that those comments I`ve posted is not pertaining to your wife. This is just a forum and should not take it personally. Everyone can give their opinions and views in every issue.
Thanks
Bridge

[Gie]

oh well, I hope my hubby didnt spend as much as that! I am living a simple life in the Philippines and like what Pete said no matter how hard you work in the Philippines, it just doesnt pays enough. Working here in the UK makes my family's life in the Philippines better and I would not deny that before my husband was sending me money and helping out my family. But now that I've got my own job, I am the one sending them money, it makes me feel contented knowing that my family on the other side of the world is well as me.

[ginapeterb]

Hello Bridget, no offence taken, you see I am a realist, I guess you could call me the Pragmatic Eleanor in Sense and Sensibility, (have you read the book or seen the movie) its good, its about the plight of young ladies in 18 century England, you see back then Bridget, ladies born to the ranks of the gentleman, who did not have a legacy of good fortune, only had their charms in life to recommend them.

A man who was in possession of an inherited fortune was in want of a wife, generally, he would secure a match with a woman of good breeding, she would be from a wealthy family, and be in possession of her own fortune, i.e. her dowry.

Girls who did not have a dowry, or an annuity, would have only their charms to recommend them.

Eleanor was one such lady, she had no fortune, and by the standards of the day was fairly poor, but also she was pragmatic, I am like her, I tell it as it is, not with the romantic overtures of phrases such as

"Well dont worry we can live on love"

Thats all very well, but the realities of life are not quite like that, and love cannot sustain you when the council tax demand is on the doorstep.

So I am just being realistic and pragmatic if you like, about the relationship betweeen a Filipina and her western husband.

oh and by the way, I was telling Gina about what you all said this morning, and she laughed and said, "tell them I am high maintenance" and by the way, I like DIOR !!

That was her parting comment as she left for work.

[cinmickey28]

Sorry Sir Pete, if got offended on the post but it’s nothing personal and above all not pointing to your Gina.

As you posted in general situation with your reply to Tom that “ Its based on a compilation of experiences, some of my own, some of one or two of my best pals who have Filipino wives of some years, and various others that have written to me, I would say there are about 20 or 30 experiences here rolled into one peice of written work” therefore my reply to your post Sir Pete is in general situation as well based on observations with friends and acquaintances and it is also case to case bases depending on every situation and depending on the person, the reason that I pointed out “A changed to better and not to worst”.

But again nothing personal with the post Sir Pete. I’m sorry if got misunderstood.

[Bridget]

Mountain Climbing
If money is your concern, just climb Ben Nevis
Just a train ride from Scotland and little equipment needed
If you want the top challenge, climb the Mount Everest
Climbing Mount Everest would give you a greater sense of achievement and more pleasure
A permit to climb cost 30,000 pounds
Then you have to buy housands of pounds of equipment and get to nepal
Likewise
If you want a cheap girlfriend, go to the local pub on a Saturday night
If you want someone from abroad, you have to be prepared for the costs

[ginapeterb]

Sorry Sir Pete, if got offended on the post but it’s nothing personal and above all not pointing to your Gina.

ABut again nothing personal with the post Sir Pete. I’m sorry if got misunderstood.

Hi kapitid na babae I guard my Gina like a rottweiler, so watch out hehehe, but hey its ok, I am not offended, I like a good debate, thats why I write the way I do, if you look, whenever I post for a debate, it always brings lots of viewpoints, and sometimes I can be a little controversial, thats fine, it all brings for a good debate, but sometimes with me, you tend to get a more direct response.

In other words, when I read something that is clearly beating around the bush, you will get a straight and direct rebuttle, if I think what you said, is unrealistic.

My Gina is quite happy being the object of the discussion, although the posts are not based on her, she did tell me to tell you all, that she is high maintenance, (sounds like a Ferrari) and she knows it, but then we cannot have 2 elephants inthe family.

We already have 1 elephant in the house, so its good that we can spend our money on the one who is not an elephant, and as long as she stays size 10 she will get new clothes, the minute she gets above size 10, the clothes stop...

Thats fair di ba !