All about marriage

[Jentobeharrison]

I know that this is the perfect site to ask about this since most of you guys are married. I just got married last 30th of august and obviously the only ID I have is my passport which is under my single name. I know it's not practical for my situation having a new passport with married name as I still have four more years validity of it. Question, which ID can I have with my married name on it?

My husband however put my last name as Harrison in water bills and council tax.

I'm planning to open a bank account, which name should I use?

I went to my local GP to update my civil status and also my name.

About finances, my husband has been living for years alone and all the expenses and bills are coming from his bank account, he asked me to open a bank account for myself and put the money we get from our wedding on it. Is that fair? What I'm planning is, get a bank account for myself (for my job and etc.) and open a joint account where we can put our savings like for our future house, future tours and ging out every weekend. Which is the ideal? Thing is, he just want me to give him £200 every month for everything (all expenses) and whatever left, we will use it for our lust and my personal savings which I find so unfair, id really want everything in half, I mean like electricity bills, council tax, tv license, water bill, mortgage, grocery. I want to pay half of it not just £200 so we can have equal allocation for our joint savings.

This is on my mind: every bill and necessities will be coming from joint as well as going out expenses, savings for our dream wedding and dream house

Then whatever is left from our salaries will be going to his personal and my personal savings (hope you can get what I'm saying hahaha) hard to explain lol

How about you guys? How do you manage this stuff? With your wives or hubbies? I would really love to hear from you.

PS. This is not a big issue though, just want to organise as much as possible so everything will be fair for both of us, I don't want him not having his own personal savings.

[stevewool]

It's down to each other what suits you both. We both have separate accounts. I pay the bills - even if some are in joint names - Ems buys the food. It works for us.

We don't have joint accounts, we just try to get the best account for savings.

[marksroomspain]

Hiya Jen,

Jamie keeps her own salary to do what she wants with, I pay the rest of household bills myself and it works fine for us. We have no mortgage as we own our home outright, so that's a massive burden taken off our minds.

I understand where you are coming from, wanting to do things equally, as marriage is a partnership and so on, but it's everyone to their own and that's what makes us all individuals.....

[Jentobeharrison]

We are planning to go out of the country and stuff. Would it be less hassle for us to submit financial evidence from my personal stuff or joint?

[marksroomspain]

Makes no difference. All they need to know is that you meet the financial requirement end of...

[grahamw48]

Bear in mind that most marriages break up over two things...money and/or sex.

Married name ? I'd say on everything except your passport.

That's what my ex did anyway.

[Michael Parnham]

We have joint everything and after rent and bills etc., we manage to save £500 per month with a standing order. The savings pay for furniture, holidays and any luxuries so there's always plenty left over that accumulates over time!

[Jentobeharrison]

We have joint everything and after rent and bills ect we manage to save £500 per month with a standing order. The savings pay for furniture, holidays and any luxuries so there's always plenty left over that accumulates over time!

Don't you have separate personal accounts?

Thing is, there are lots of bills deducted from my husband's account since he has been paying it all alone before but I wanted to pay bills as well equally. Do you think it would really be hassle if all the bills deducted from my husband's account (eg electricity, water, mortgage) will be transferred to our joint account and deduct it from there?

[stevewool]

Its all very easy to transfer bills from one account to another.

Are you looking at changing the bills into joint names first or just changing the bills into a joint account? Have you thought about just transferring cash into his account but keeping both accounts separate?

Remember, later on with an ISA savings, it's better to have separate accounts rather then a joint account for that, £15000 in a joint or £15000 in each making £30000 tax free saving each year.

[Michael Parnham]

Don't you have separate personal accounts?

Thing is, there are lots of bills deducted from my husband's account since he has been paying it all alone before but I wanted to pay bills as well equally. Do you think it would really be hassle if all the bills deducted from my husband's account (eg electricity, water, mortgage) will be transferred to our joint account and deduct it from there?

Personally, I think it's selfish having separate accounts; also there are advantages of having them joint: For instance if, 'God forbid', anything happened to one of you, you can still use the bank a/c immediately without having all the hassle of changing bank details. Same with utility a/c, no changes needed. It's called peace of mind under extreme circumstances!

[grahamw48]

Trust !

If you don't have trust, why be married ?

[Michael Parnham]

Trust !

If you don't have trust, why be married ?

Well said Graham!

[Slip]

I know that this is the perfect site to ask about this since most of you guys are married. I just got married last 30th of august and obviously the only ID I have is my passport which is under my single name. I know it's not practical for my situation having a new passport with married name as I still have four more years validity of it. Question, which ID can I have with my married name on it?

My husband however put my last name as Harrison in water bills and council tax.

I'm planning to open a bank account, which name should I use?

I went to my local GP to update my civil status and also my name.

About finances, my husband has been living for years alone and all the expenses and bills are coming from his bank account, he asked me to open a bank account for myself and put the money we get from our wedding on it. Is that fair? What I'm planning is, get a bank account for myself (for my job and etc.) and open a joint account where we can put our savings like for our future house, future tours and ging out every weekend. Which is the ideal? Thing is, he just want me to give him £200 every month for everything (all expenses) and whatever left, we will use it for our lust and my personal savings which I find so unfair, id really want everything in half, I mean like electricity bills, council tax, tv license, water bill, mortgage, grocery. I want to pay half of it not just £200 so we can have equal allocation for our joint savings.

This is on my mind: every bill and necessities will be coming from joint as well as going out expenses, savings for our dream wedding and dream house

Then whatever is left from our salaries will be going to his personal and my personal savings (hope you can get what I'm saying hahaha) hard to explain lol

How about you guys? How do you manage this stuff? With your wives or hubbies? I would really love to hear from you.

PS. This is not a big issue though, just want to organise as much as possible so everything will be fair for both of us, I don't want him not having his own personal savings.

He can still have his own bank account, as can you. I don't see a problem with a joint account.... However he can still pay bills from his own account if he wishes. He sounds a bit like me, I have lived on my own for 12 years now and am rather used to it. His home is his castle and it will take a while for him to get used to people moving stuff, he has it just how he likes it. Everything has a place and now the place is not just where he puts it, it's where you put it too. So to get back on the joint account question, I personally think he is so used to doing it his own way he doesn't want to lose control of the way he has done things perfectly well over the last x amount of years.

He just needs to get used to being married and sharing responsibility. Maybe he's trying too hard to please you and wants to show you what a great husband he is, but I think he will realize in time that you are a couple now and equal - and as such, it's not about one or the other, it's about togetherness.

I probably am speaking about my own situation a bit too, because he reminds me of how I am.... Time will tell when Harlene gets here if I try to do everything for her and not treat her as an equal!

[grahamw48]

Good points Slip....very true.

When I got wed...had been living alone for 22 years.

Poor girl.

Took me 15 years to get used to having someone else in the house...then the divorce came through.

[Michael Parnham]

Good points Slip....very true.

When I got wed...had been living alone for 22 years.

Poor girl.

Took me 15 years to get used to having someone else in the house...then the divorce came through.

Poor Graham!

[sars_notd_virus]

I have my own account!!
My husband got his own account which is my joint account, thanks hubby sorted!!

..We pay all our bills and groceries from our joint account and I use my own account for necessities like Shoes,

[stevewool]

I have my own account!!
My husband got his own account which is my joint account, thanks hubby sorted!!

..We pay all our bills and groceries from our joint account and I use my own account for necessities like Shoes,

,