Why did she leave me?
First and foremost she could not accept the amount of maintenance I had to pay to my first wife.
Secondly she could not bear me spending time with or money on my son by my ex wife.
Thirdly I think she found it hard to accept the whole idea that my ex wife was still around. I should add here that I spend as little time as possible with my ex - the only time we talk is generally about parenting issues.
Fourthly she wanted kids. So did I, but we never hit enough financial stability to make the decision. Also, by the third year she had already left me for two periods of several months, not a good sign for a potential mother!
Fifthly, she says, not enough sex! I must admit, by the last year her behaviour and my worries meant that was probably true. But for me sex needs love both ways and maybe it just wasn't there.
I honestly feel she now has a set of contradictory feelings: she is glad to be rid of me and determined to move on. But she is scared of moving on, and realises that simply changing one aspect of your life does not turn it into a bed of roses.
What is so sad is that, at her best, she is a remarkable and capable and cheerful person. From a start of zero education she has laernt English, learnt to drive, got a very good job, studies, got an NVQ, built up a huge number of friends, bought herself a car. She should be self sufficient and enjoying life as a young free and single woman. But her mental problems are letting her down.
Ian
