Marivic and I

[bigtombowski]

I just want to explain my odd postings of the last few days!

A few days ago (thursay), marivic and i had an argument. It was quite nasty and then it was followed by a long silence and tampo session on the part of mar. Now, for the 9 months that we had spent together, i never experienced this end of tampo, and it was so weird ... so ...

Being the annoyingly obsessive guy I am, i plagued the girl with call after call after call, just trying to get thru and she didn't answer, and simply switched her phone off! Over the course of 2 days, i believe i called her a minimum of 150 times plus MANY text messages.

Then, when she finally did answer, she hung up on me! Well, i was outraged ... then the outrage gave way to depression, which led to resentment ... leading to some very severe pronouncements on here ... that i am single and talking to friends-of-friends. ...

well there is an update

i have had some PM conversations with some of my friends here whom i know and they have told me that they can simply tell that i deeply love marivic and that they know we'll be better and stronger again ... and i can't argue with them. What can i say? I still love her! My heart still belongs to her, and i just can't imagine being too cold to not be with her anymore...

so ...

after a PM from a certain PhD psychologist who is a regular on this forum (u know who u are mommi) ... i CALLED marivic ...

and ... we ironed out all our differences, we talked and talked and talked and we decided that we are made for each other. We still love each other and we have gotten back closer and really are deeper in love now than we were.

So . . .

i guess i have been a fool and this forum was my only sounding board because no-one else would really give me such a diversity of opinion, no-one would help me like you have, and no one would take the time!

There are people I have known on here since the very start, and they know how i love marivic!

The post bridget referred to when she said about the one where i proclaimed my love for marivic is found here:

http://filipinaroses.com/showpost.ph...5&postcount=32

this was my third ever post and .. . when i look at all those things i said about her ... i know in my heart of hearts . . . i feel all these feelings deeper and deeper now than i ever have

i am so happy she and i are back together, and Dr kimmi -- you were right in all ur PM's to me. Thank you for all of your help, directly and indirectly, you really are not wasting your training

and to everyone who has cared here, THANK YOU SO MUCH ...

so

that's enough talk from me now ...

i need to go! lol

thanks and thanks and thanks everyone!

tom

[h0ney_c]

Hi, tom!

this post is so wonderful and lovely!!!!
I am so happy for you and marivic!!! i wish you both lasting happiness together.

"mabuhay ang ikakasal!!!!"

[Bridget]

Thats brilliant Tommi...! Im so happy for both of you.

[bigtombowski]

thank you thank you thank you friends

[somebody]

Always wanted to say this, told you so

[desRICHARDS]

She Is Very Lucky Young Lady To Have You......bravo For Men Like You......

[fred]

This article by Perry Gamsby pretty much sums up the Tampo disorder.



Read it and save it to disk..Then back it up on CD or in your own hand writing..Lock it away, then Pray you will never need it.












THERE'S A NAME FOR IT, TAMPO!
Surviving Her Moods, One Kano's Way To Deal With Tampo.



Anyone who has spent any time at all with Filipinas will know about Tampo. Sulking. The silent treatment. Filipina's have it down to an art form that their western sisters may have once boasted, but have since lost the skill as their masculine side came more to the fore! Tampo is so terminally female, so illogical in its logic, yet so cruelly effective most of the time. There are ways to defend against it, even fight back but none are as powerful as Tampo itself! Read on.

Tampo is an accepted mode of behaviour within the Filipino culture. It allows for the offended party to display their hurt and offense without offending anyone else, including whoever offended them in the first place. Clever, don't you think? Coming from a society where it is quite acceptable for someone to run "Amok" and kill as many as they can before being brought down themselves, Tampo is a far less lethal, yet just as effective way of getting your message across. And nobody dies. Yes, women do the tampo, men run amok, you didn't think it would be the other way around did you?

So the gentler sex has this weapon at her disposal that can cut a man dead as quickly as a strike from a Bolo. Not literally, but figuratively. When you are on the receiving end of tampo, you know it! She will not talk to you, harsh punishmentfrom a woman of any nationality as women place more store in communication and conversation than men do. For a Filipina, a person brought up in a culture that places the group above the individual and getting along with everyone in that group more important than personal advancement, not speaking to you is really playing hard ball.

For us foreigner men we might actually enjoy the silence, the hours or days free from nagging or shrew like remarks but this will be short lived. She will tune in and realise that we are actually enjoying the peace and quiet and so she will up the intensity a little. Some physical contact and cold shouldering will come into play. Doors will be subtley slammed, plates crashed down on the table in front of us and other signals will be sent to show that we are being punished and that we should not enjoy the process!

Repeated attempts to get her to explain why she isn't talking to you will be met with silence. After all, she isn't talking to you, remember? If she did give you an answer it wouldn't make sense to your logic restricted male brain. Nor would it necessarily be anything more than a representation of her emotional state, devoid of any tangible connection to anything you have ever said or done, but perhaps things you may have intended, thought or could one day perhaps, maybe, might, possibly do. Like I said, forget logic, reason and trying to make any sense of the situation. Simply accept you did worng, you are being punished and you have a duty to make ammends.

This will entail paying lots of attention to her over considerable periods of time. No matter how much she ignores you, keep at it. It may take days or it may be only hours but slowly she will allow you to do little things for her and she may even speak directly, albeit abruptly, to you. Gradually she will soften further and tehn before you know it she will be the warm, loving asawa of old and you had better warm up and forget the cold time and be ready to go on as if nothing happened! If, like me, you find it difficult to be sexually aroused after a few hours of tampo, then don't be surprised if she goes right back into full blown tampo because you don't love her anymore! You should be girding your loins as the ice melts and be ready to perform, studlike, as a show, proof shall we say of your love, devotion, fidelity, etc etc.

Remember, to a Filipina there is no shame in showing tampo, or being in tampo. In fact the others in the family or barkada will have respect for her because she has a problem and she is dealing with it the right way and without embarrassing herself or anyone else by yelling and screaming. Like what us foreigners usually do!

Does it work the other way? Can a foreinger husband tampo the wife? I guess you can but I really can't see it having the desired effect. It really is a female thing but I really don't agree with the mens' way of showing their displeasure, beating up the wife. The alternative is to grab the Bolo and run amok!. I'll try hiding in my den for an hour or two!

[KeithD]

Do tampons always go with tampo's? Just seems they go off the rails for 2-3 days each month

And why are women the only animals that can bleed for 3 days non-stop and not die??

[aromulus]

And why are women the only animals that can bleed for 3 days non-stop and not die??

Same reason as why scorpions will survive nuclear fall-out quite happily and prosper..... I suppose...

[kimmi]

I am happy for u tommi...

so it's time for a party now?

wait...Boss isn't he owe me 5,000 pesos for the counseling?

Cheers Son..


mommi

[fred]

Same reason as why scorpions will survive nuclear fall-out quite happily and prosper..... I suppose...

I thought that was cockroaches?

[kimmi]

just hope its not from planet Mars..he he he

[aromulus]

I thought that was cockroaches?

Them too............

[bigtombowski]

hey Kimmi -- 5000 peso for counselling?

gosh, i thought it was voluntary! Yikes!

[kimmi]

well son, its Boss keith suggested that not me..lol

congratz...cheers..

[bigtombowski]

o gosh, if u did everything he suggested... this world would be a VERY chaotic place
lol

[kimmi]

calling the attention of Boss Keith here..calling calling...he he he


so how's Mar?did u say my regards to her?

[bigtombowski]

i sure did
and she is wonderful
i am just waiting for her to come online, i was on the fone to her there and she is just waiting for a computer to become vacant! lol

i need coffee
i didn't sleep until after 5am! lol

[kimmi]

oh thats great to here son..

so promise me no friend of a friend of a friend ok?

[bigtombowski]

i promise

[kimmi]

i will hold on to do that son..

good for u..and good luck on ur visit..

[fred]

i was on the fone to her there

How much was your new phone??
I usually buy second hand phones on ebay for a tenner..
For those Tampo days.
Fred.

[bigtombowski]

hehe
i didn't actually break my phones! lol

[kimmi]

well Fred, u think tommi really has broken his phone? well I doubt it the very first time I heard of that because thats the only way he can get close to Mar..and experience the unforgettable "HUNG UP"..lol

[fred]

hehe
i didn't actually break my phones! lol

Ahh so You didnt break your phone??Throw it at the wall? Smash it with a large hammer? Run over it with a JCB?
Then your Mrs hasn`t mastered the art of tampo yet!!
But give her time!!
Then use ebay..

[bigtombowski]

haha
i'll keep it in mind chap

[IanB]

Great news, and nice post. Tampo may be all very well when you are together, but when you are half a world apart it must be unbearable.

I'm a "get it out in the open" man. I much prefer a short argument to a long slience. In defence of filipinos, I can vouch 100% that Thais do exactly the same, and it drove me mad!

Ian

[joebloggs]

one reason i don't drink ,
with a filipina wife, i've got to remember what i've said to her all the time and be one step infront



or

[fred]

I can vouch 100% that Thais do exactly the same, and it drove me mad!

Ian

OK Ian..
That explains a lot!!
Cheers,
Fred.

[fred]

one reason i don't drink

Its the only reason I drink.