hello, everyone!

[h0ney_c]

Hello, everyone! I am new here. I heard that this forum is really informative and the members are really friendly and very good in giving advices.

I have been seeing my brit BF online for three months now. -And next month, he'll come to see me in my hometown. We have been talking about it since October an I was surprised that yesterday, he called me and told me that he has already booked his flight. We'll be spending two weeks together. I am excited and happy to see him in person... However, I just feel nervous and afraid that something wrong will happen... I'm sure the Filipina members here can relate to what I am saying. Traditionally, Filipinas preserve their virginity until they get married and I am proud to say that I am one of those. I am just afraid that in two weeks, "something" will happen...

What will I do and what should I tell my boyfriend prior to meeting him? Is it "normal" for BF and GF in LDR to actually do "it" when they see each other for the first time? Sorry to sound so thick about it... I just don't know how am I going to deal with it...

Thanks in advance

[kimmi]

hi sis honey,

welcome to the forum..

about ur question, it depends on how u are talking things with ur bf..are u discussing this things while u are chatting with him?

and about ur question if it is "normal" to do "it", well I can say as long as he is already ur hubby, there's nothing wrong about it..

[h0ney_c]

Thanks sis kimmi. (Is it okay for me to call you, sis?)

We just talked about it after a month of chatting because he said it is good to have open communication with each other. It's important to be honest and open and that we don't hide things from each other... I am just afraid that something might happen in that two weeks that we'll be together...

Thanks again!

[halo-halo]

welcome to teh forum Honey!!!

[kimmi]

hello sis honey,

of course its ok for me to be called Sis, we are family here..

and it depends on how u feel when ur bf is here already..

[h0ney_c]

Thanks halo-halo!

[h0ney_c]

sis kimmi, so how should i react or how am i gonna tell him that I cannot do "it" in a way that he won't get disappointed (if he will ask for it)? I just do hope and pray that he won't.... I'm just sooooo afraid!!!!

[kimmi]

u'd better tell it to him sis..since uve said ure open with each other..

ure bothered now, so u think it will happen?and u might give in?lol..

[h0ney_c]

sis kimmi, to tell you the truth, i really am bothered... so i have another question, how can i make it not happen? sorry, if i sound too naive...

[kimmi]

its ok sis, i guess its better for u to discuss it with him as early as now..so at least he is already aware and not to expect about it..

[KeithD]

and the members are really friendly

'Most'

[h0ney_c]

i see. thank you so much, sis kimmi! i hope i can do my best to make him not expect for it to happen.

cheers!

[JAMZ]

Don't give in!!! Yet!

Tell him, "No marriage, no honeymoon."

You should have told him beforehand and let us see if he would retract his booking.

Actually, if he really is a good guy with good intention, and he respects you and he believes in marriage, even if you flaunt yourself bare / naked, he will not do it. Lesson of self-control for guys, ... This will not lessen your masculinity nor be tagged as gay...

Sis, try to live at our traditional Filipino value - hold it off first!!!

How do you say so that something might happen? Can you feel it?

Just give him the benefit of the doubt... We might be too assuming...maybe he just wants to visit Philippines and have a look at the sceneries, Lol...

[KeithD]

What use is 'preserving' it? It's your body, do what you want with it, nobody else could care less.........how many times do you hear animals (which we are) saying "Sorry Mr Buffalo.....we are not married"?

Anyway......you have a mouth.....

[JAMZ]

What use is 'preserving' it? It's your body, do what you want with it, nobody else could care less.........how many times do you hear animals (which we are) saying "Sorry Mr Buffalo.....we are not married"?

Anyway......you have a mouth.....

Hahahaha, , Mr. Admin, you made me laugh on your last line... I have never thought of that, hahahaha...

[h0ney_c]

thank you so much, jamz for your advice. i really appreciate it.

[kimmi]

same here sis JAMZ,Boss ure giving honey an idea..lol..

[charlwill]

Welcome to the forum, Honey!!!!

[JAMZ]

No worries. It is not your loss if he gets disappointed assuming he thinks that way. Don't mind the UK VISA if you have plans, Anyway, there are men out there left who have good intentions still...

But I guess there is better chance that he comes back when he feels you are a decent one...

Seriously, bring it up to him first... so that he would already know what to anticipate... Unless he challenges you upto what extent you can hold off...wise men...

[h0ney_c]

cheers, charlwill!

[h0ney_c]

thanks, jamz. i will take heed of your advice. i just do hope that he will understand me. (i pray that he won't ask for it)

cheers!

[h0ney_c]

you're right, sis kimmi! i hope my BF won't test me and see up to what extent i can hold on to my values.

[kimmi]

goodluck sis honey..

[JAMZ]

you're right, sis kimmi! i hope my BF won't test me and see up to what extent i can hold on to my values.

And even if he asks for it, don't forget that saying "no" is not bad... Do some sort of reverse psych...


like..."It hurts me to know that all you want is my body... "

[kimmi]

learn to say "NO" sis honey, remember the values..

and wait, u dont have any chaperone when u meet him?or even during his stay?

[h0ney_c]

thanks, jamz for teaching me how to say "NO" in another way.

[h0ney_c]

sis kimmi, i won't have any chaperone when i meet him. we'll be staying in a resort for the said period of time... that's why i am afraid... what is the best way for me to tell him that i want to bring a chaperone with me in such a way that it won't make him feel that i am afraid of spending time alone with him? coz he said he wants us to spend time alone so that we could really get to know each other well.... sorry for asking a lot of questions...

[JAMZ]

That is the line thrown by gays... it might be more effective to real women like us...

Kidding aside, yes, you can show him how you value yourself. He will understand it, I am sure of that.

[JAMZ]

sis kimmi, i won't have any chaperone when i meet him. we'll be staying in a resort for the said period of time... that's why i am afraid... what is the best way for me to tell him that i want to bring a chaperone with me in such a way that it won't make him feel that i am afraid of spending time alone with him? coz he said he wants us to spend time alone so that we could really get to know each other well.... sorry for asking a lot of questions...

Bring two chaperones with you. Bringing only one will let that loner feel out of place... By that set-up, the guy can have an exclusive date with you as the other two can just watch over you from a distance, hehehe... Sounds a silly suggestion but can be possible if you are just worried of being alone.

But just remember to initiate the offer of paying for your two chaperones' accommodation in the resort so that the guy would think that you are not an opportunist in that way.

[kimmi]

when i met my fiance, i am together with my dad at the airport..and with my brother during the days when he was here..

in my situation, i guess he already expected that I have a chaperone since we've just met..and he needs to earn my trust and my parents trust..

its not naman na since u have a chaperone u cannot get to know each other very well..

sis u have to open it to him, dsicuss the things that bothers u..and who knows he has also his share of things to ask u..

Goodluck..