For many years I've not done either borrowing or lending.

For family I followed the same strategy as you Steve. If I say it's a gift that's what it is.
If I don't say it's a gift then I leave it to them to pay back. Never happened.

Now whenever family ask for money I just tell them they still owe me from last time but if they pay it back I'll give it back to them.

Just like to add that my this strategy has resulted in most of the family now ignoring us completely. Good riddance we say. We certainly don't deserve to be treated like an ATM
Besides, as I say, I'm a pensioner with no job. Who'll look after me and buy my beer
That usually stops them in their tracks

Got to stand up sometimes.

The nephew we sponsored for education and had living with us for for free and providing an allowance for was kicked out after a few weeks.
We'll pay his final graduation costs of P13k next week but then that's it.
We informed the parents about our reasons and they also no longer contact to us.
This 19 year old was a lazy, deceitful, unhygenic liar who tried to scam us at ever turn.
even only P100 here P200 there.
Stuff went missing from our house too. Gold jewelery with significant monetary value as well as sentimental. No proof but.............
We felt we couldn't trust him and besides which we ended up totally disliking him.

I literally threw him out the door with all his stuff.

There's no family now we help