If you cant find the book that you are looking for,you are obviously in the.....
If you cant find the book that you are looking for,you are obviously in the.....
A man was sunbathing in the buff at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied
"If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself"
A blonde woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The woman says, "Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists. "
Orville the Duck said he has been left feeling empty inside after the death of Keith Harris.
I went fishing while on my holidays and I used liquorice as bait
I caught all sorts...
Russian computer: "Enter password"
Me: "Beef stew"
Russian computer: "Password not stroganoff"
Wife : "I had a dream. They were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."
Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"
Wife : "Those they gave away."
Husband : "I had a dream too. They were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."
Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"
Husband : "That's where they held the auction
Gynaecologist to patient: "My word Mrs. Smith, you do have a big vagina vagina"
Mrs. Smith: "You needn't say it twice"
Gynaecologist: "I didn't!"
Originally Posted by fred
My wife just said to me "Look at this, I've had this since we got married 20 years ago & it still fits me".
I said " it's a scarf."
When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory.... I don't remember what I chose.???????????????????????????????/
I heard my son chanting: "DOMINE... BACTERIUM... LACTOBACILLUS... CASEI... SHIROTA!"
I think he's dabbling in the Yakult...
Northampton Police report finding a man's body in the River Nene, near
Becketts Park. The dead man's name will not be released until his family has
been notified..
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption.
He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string,
a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and a ‘Milliband for PM’ on 2015 T-shirt.
He also had a cucumber inserted in his rectum.
The police removed the Ed Milliband T-shirt to spare his family any
unnecessary embarrassment.
They say that 'sorry' is the hardest word, unless you are Japanese, in which case, its 'squirrel'.
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