Very good advice. Follow it Jack, before it's too late!Originally Posted by Harry T
Very good advice. Follow it Jack, before it's too late!
I understand all you are going through Jack, and good luck with what ever you decide too,I know now that all I want is to have my own biological child. I realise no matter how I look at my little girl, I will always see the other side and hating myself for those thoughts.
Whoever is at fault, it's a path in life which I have chosen and can change that at any moment.
I realise that my wife's career is more important than me and my needs, my only thing I wanted in life was my own child.
Apologies to Graham who I see is expecting a baby with Mercedes. God how I wish I was you, and yes, you were harsh, but right in your advice to me; also Harry T, Jamie and many more I could mention.
This guy needs to reflect on the past 3 years and find happiness again.
Hers's to you all, sat at my local with a few vodkas, and enjoying the company of let's say, happier times. Cheers ...
I have 2 adopted children and yes they know i am not there biological father, but i am there father in there eyes and my eyes too, my daughter was 5 and my son was 1 when they came into my,
Think hard for this little person, she knows nobody else but you as her dad,
Sorry to add this to problems
Im sure Jack is appreciative of the advice you have given steve, indeed as he says all the advice he has been given, However You Steve are in a Happy and stable relationship in which to have adopted children, there is a vast difference between being in a stable relationship when compared to a relationship that has disintegrated.
I agree Harry.
Some very serious life-changing decisions for Jack.
One thing everyone should remember,
Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a DAD
Exactly!One thing everyone should remember,
Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a DAD
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
I truly believe in gut instinct. It's correct 90% of the time.
Yes as hard as it is try draw a line. Still time to meet someone else. To be honest if it was me I would frIghten me to death to have another kid. Got 2 and an 8 year old granddaughter. That's enough for me. It's les time these days!
And that is why i said i understand, i was talking about the innocent person in all this and even though i dont know any of them , the end of the day someone has to take care of this child, she has not asked for any of this ,
Children are adaptable and open-minded Steve.
The longer the 'father-daughter' relationship continues though, the harder for the child it will be.
Experiencing my own Filipino stepchildren being given the news that their biological father had been killed (when aged 7 and 9 years) was educational for me I can tell you, as was witnessing their full and happy lives following that trauma.
Indeed they are adaptable,
Adults have caused all this and being a grown up adult they can and will sort it all out, and yes they might even both be very upset but for sure one will, but its the child who has known no one else as there mother and father,
Kids can get over it but they never forget, lots of fathers walk away every day from there kids for sure, but some cant
I am not saying you should stay together just for the kids, but you the father or step father should be there for your child,
Hi again,
I don't know whether everyone knows the story behind all this from past posts but just to refresh to all it was my wife telling me she had been raped by an ex a week previous to me meeting her the very first time.
Sorry to go over old ground but she kept this from me for 26 months before and after we married and even on her arrival in UK.
I only found out 17 months after she arrived in UK from a gut instinct I had that little girl wasn't mine hence the paternity test which proved right.
This is damm hard as I am being pulled one way and then the other, I am naturally a no nonsense guy who will kick things into touch if I feel its not right.
Can I just say If she was a British girl then I would have not thought twice of ending this relationship.
I fear for my stepdaughters future if she went back to the Phils but also I want to punish my wife for the hurt she has done to me and whether if I can sort this sad mess out just for happiness as an outcome also if everything she told me is the truth then I am one cruel cold hearted b*****d.
I just hope whatever decision is finally made that I do right by all thank you...
Just because people like Graham are now in happy relationships doesn't mean this has always been the case. I would imagine most people have gone through a bad relationship at some point in their life even if it was brief so you're not alone, Jack. The secret is to learn from your mistakes. Who knows? Before long, you could meet someone wonderful but you will need to put this experience behind you and not dwell on it or give off any negativity because women will pick up on it. Also, don't feel guilty about anything you've done here.
Interesting comments all round!
Indeed.
12 years married to a Filipina in my case...until she decided to go off with another bloke.
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