An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman are wandering about in the jungle, but they get captured by a vicous cannibalistic tribe!!! The chief tells them that if they can show 20 inches of willy between them, he'll let them go!!
The Englishman shows 10 inches of willy, the Irishman shows 9 inches of willy, and the Scotsman shows just 1 inch!! Phew that's enough for the 20 inches they need!!
The chief free's them and as they walk away the Scotsman says "It's a good job I had a hard on!!"
Scotsman has a hard on
That wasn't what the English birds said when I was there for a few years trying to improve your stock! Heehee
Always knew the scotch were tight
Irishman wins luxury weekend at London Ritz.
He gets a champagne reception, treated like a king, gets led to the best room in the place. Upon entering he sees a massive 4 poster bed, and on it a beautiful big blonde woman bare naked.
Back in Ireland he tells his brother the details. "best room, champagne, the best of grub, they even laid on a woman! So sex all weekend too! "
The doorbell rings and the CID are there to question him.
Are you Patrick Murphy? "Yes" Did you just stay in the London Ritz? "Yes"
Was there a blonde woman in the room? " yes" Mr Murphy, was there anything unusual about this woman? "Er no, why?" Mr Murphy, the woman was DEAD!!
At this Paddy jumps up and exclaims "JAYSUS, I JUST THOUGHT SHE WAS ENGLISH!!! "
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