A Memo

[Pepe n Pilar]

TO : ALL EMPLOYEES
FR : MANAGEMENT
RE : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)

We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.) . Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S. H. I. T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T. ).

Thank you.

[nigel]

That reminded me of that joke thingy about the Mexican visiting London, he goes to his hotel and the story unfolds a bit like this: He goes in the restaurant area and says " I wanna piece a the toast!?" The hotel staff say " You don't p*ss on our toast!" He says " I wanna piece a the toast!!" - " You don't p*ss on our toast!!" He says " I JUST WANT A PIECE A THE BREAD!!" - " You don't p*ss on our bread, you don't p*ss on our toast!! Get out of the restaurant!!" So he goes to his room but there are no bed sheets..." I wanna sheet on tha bed!" - " You don't sh*t on our bed!!" He says " I wanna SHEET on tha bed!" - " You don't p*ss on our toast!! You don't sh*t on our bed!! Get out the Hotel!!" So the poor Mexican is kicked out and he walks down the street and he goes past a priest. The priest says " Piece on you!" The Mexican says "I'll p*ss on you too you son of a b*tch!! F*ck you English I'll go back to Mexico!!"

[Pepe n Pilar]

Funny one Nigel!!!