Almost One Year!

[Steve up North]

Hello all,

I registered on this sight almost a year ago but in that time only posted once (sorry) but it was to help someone I also failed to introduce myself at the time due to having a very busy work schedule and being busy in general.

When I registered here I was looking for a Filipina but was finding it very difficult on the usual dating sites, sure I spoke to many, possibly too many because I started using it like a cattle marked which is how I honestly viewed them. I hated being on those sites and even spent a few weeks doing nothing other but chasing and catching scammers who I would then report and get banned. Most of the women I spoke to were nice but not one of them ignited a spark in me, I was about to take another break from it all when I received a simple message from someone "How are you" was all it said. At first I did not reply because I would always check the profiles first and check to see if she had opened my profile, she had so after a few minutes I replied. To cut a long story short we both left the site within a few hours of meeting and were still chatting some 8hrs later without a break

I arrived back from a two week visit two weeks ago, one which I will never forget for many reasons. We have made plans and one of them is to try and start her annulment by next August, I will not be paying for this not because I am tight or do not want too but she will be getting a lump sum from a house sale in August, mine will be spent on airfares and once she has her annulment, her visa.

I do have one question although I realize it might be better asked in a separate forum section as it might not be seen here by many.
My Filipina has been told by someone she knows who is a legal secretary that she could ask a judge for an annulment instead of getting a lawyer, she was told it could only take 6 months and cost around 150000 p which is much cheaper than the norm. I know corruption is rife there and judges are no exception but I have told her to hang fire on that as I do not want her arrested for trying to bribe a judge

Anyway I have said enough for an intro I wish you all well and hope you have a good Christmas but please think of us poor beggers who will be on our own on Christmas day this year!

[Michael Parnham]

Good luck for the future and please keep us updated!

[Tawi2]

If she has an ex hubbie who isnt on the scene and has no contact with her go for the presumptive death route,much cheaper

[Steve up North]

If she has an ex hubbie who isnt on the scene and has no contact with her go for the presumptive death route,much cheaper

We did think of this as her Ex is living and working in Italy now and has been for a number of years, unfortunately he keeps in touch with the children and his whole family live locally including his father who I met and shook hands with, didn't know who he was until she told me after.

[grahamw48]

Welcome to the forum Steve.

If you want an honest opinion, I think you'll be in for a lot of stress and unhappiness in the future, from what I've just read.

Family is the number one priority in the Philippines culture. Everything revolves around family.

Out of all of those thousands of young ladies available to you, you have chosen a lady who is married... in a country with no divorce, and who also has children ? You say he 'unfortunately' keeps in touch with his children. I think that is an unfortunate turn of phrase when referring to a man who appears to be attending to his responsibilities.

I believe you will be permanently dogged by all of this 'baggage'... lovely as the young lady probably is.

[Michael Parnham]

Welcome to the forum Steve.

If you want an honest opinion, I think you'll be in for a lot of stress and unhappiness in the future, from what I've just read.

Family is the number one priority in the Philippines culture. Everything revolves around family.

Out of all of those thousands of young ladies available to you, you have chosen a lady who is married... in a country with no divorce, and who also has children ? You say he 'unfortunately' keeps in touch with his children. I think that is an unfortunate turn of phrase when referring to a man who appears to be attending to his responsibilities.

I believe you will be permanently dogged by all of this 'baggage'... lovely as the young lady probably is.

Good point!

[Ako Si Jamie]

We did think of this as her Ex is living and working in Italy now and has been for a number of years, unfortunately he keeps in touch with the children and his whole family live locally including his father who I met and shook hands with, didn't know who he was until she told me after.

Being a married woman she shouldn't be advertising her new man to her inlaws. Adultery is a crime over there with both culprits receiving up to 7 years in jail if her husband gets nasty and files a complaint and there's evidence of any shennanigans. I think that even includes holding hands. Not sure if he could file a complaint though if he's been out of the country for a certain time but don't quote me on that.

This is just something you should be aware of.

[Steve up North]

Welcome to the forum Steve.

If you want an honest opinion, I think you'll be in for a lot of stress and unhappiness in the future, from what I've just read.

Family is the number one priority in the Philippines culture. Everything revolves around family.

Out of all of those thousands of young ladies available to you, you have chosen a lady who is married... in a country with no divorce, and who also has children ? You say he 'unfortunately' keeps in touch with his children. I think that is an unfortunate turn of phrase when referring to a man who appears to be attending to his responsibilities.

I believe you will be permanently dogged by all of this 'baggage'... lovely as the young lady probably is.

Wow! Thanks for the wonderful welcome!

I think it's best you keep your honest opinions to yourself especially as I did not ask for them. If this is the normal honest opinions of members on here I can see I am in the wrong place as I have never read so much negativity in one forum post in my life.

Do I avoid her because she is married and has 2 wonderful daughters? Sorry but I am not such a hypocrite as I have 2 children from a previous marriage myself, to me that does not mean she or her daughters are "baggage".

Not sure what you mean by young? Are you implying I should look for someone much younger than myself, maybe half my age or less? Sorry but I was looking for a "woman" close to my own age. I have no problem with 2 people having a very big age gap between them as long as they are together for the right reasons, but that is not for me.

I guess you are right when you say family is the number one priority in the Philippines, maybe the family's should be teaching that to all the men over there who leave their family's for other women. Yes he is attending to his responsibilities now in the way of school fees but not of his own free will.

I am more than aware there is no divorce over there which is why we have to try for annulment, although stressful not easy and costly it is no reason why we should not try like so many others have in the past. And one final note, he has agreed to annulment as he realizes he was the one who left and committed adultery and would like to marry the woman he ran away with.

I thought this forum was more like a community and thought it might be a nice way for my other half to make the odd acquaintance with people from her own country once she is here, but I don't think it is the right place where you are ostracized for being not young married and with children. I am sure she would love being called "BAGGAGE".

[grahamw48]

And breathe.

Yes, I can see you doing really well in the Philippines with a temper like that and the propensity for making so many assumptions.

Good luck.

[SimonH]

unfortunately he keeps in touch with the children

I this this is the bit that most people on the forum to offence to. Maybe a rather unfortunate turn of phrase
Happy to be corrected though, and good luck with the annulment

[mickcant]

I hope you do get through the annulment process, it says a lot for her that she is funding it herself
The general way from the experienced members here is straight advice which has helped many od us have a reality check.

All the very best to you and your partner.
Mick.

[Arthur Little]

... ANOTHER Steve!

Popular name on here ... and, naturally, the more the merrier!

Anyway, to Filipina Roses ... and try to understand that ... ... even if the advice offered by those of us who've been an integral part of this forum for many years might not necessarily be the sort new members want to read, it is [always] genuinely well~intended - with its recipients' BEST interests at heart - of that, you really can be sure.

[grahamw48]

Thankyou Arthur.

[stevewool]

What have i missed,
Hello Steve a little late i know , but good luck in all you are wanting and trying to do,
Its a long expensive road you and your good lady are traveling , but i am sure it will be worth while if you both managed to reach the end,
Just be carefull with her EX , you could be very lucrative to him ,anyway i am sure you dont need me to tell you that,
Again good luck