There was an English man a Scottish man and a Paky man. They
were all in a plane that was about to crash into Mount
Everest.The pilot told them to throw out anything they didnt
need.
So the Scottish man threw out his Kilts and said "I dont
need them iv got plenty in my country".
The Paky man threw out
his fags and said "I dont need them iv got plenty in my
country".
The English man threw out the Paky and said "I dont
need him iv got plenty in my country".
Not an expert, I only try to help.
Originally Posted by LadyJ
oh sorry , i thought you said parky ! i can't stand him, good its his last show ever coming up
Awww how can you not like parky? I missed his last show, I hope it's broadcast again...that joke is kind of old, probably not as old my jokes though!heh heh heh
There are 7 Planes Of Existance:
7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
6 — Plane of Forces
5 — Astral Plane
4 — Mental Plane
3 — Too mysterious to describe.
2 — Too mysterious to describe.
1 — Too mysterious to describe.
Well.. Im trying to get to 1000 posts you see.
Sorry..nearly there..(for today)
Just one more...
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight= is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner?= I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his ****.
Last one promise..
This will have you in stitches..
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lqxa03Abo3U
You have posted 18 now and your number of posts is still 880?
Anyway those are funny
" The people who mean something to your life are not rated "the best" don't have the most money, haven't won the greatest prizes....
They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by... "
You two are funny!
Fred you said you are trying to reach your 1,000 posts but your posts is 880 (at the moment) so you still have to post 120 more funny pictures ...
Not an expert, I only try to help.
OK..You asked for it..
When I get back from Baguio.
ABSOLUTELY wonderful mate!!
Thanks for those.
Al.
NO way to Rant when Kuya Fred is around
Happy trip
hahaha you make me laugh so loud here that even my son and asked whats wrong w/ me hahahaha
oh i have my post talking about baguio city...hmmm are u going take the car or plane ? share me your experience from baguio..i would appreciate it...were going there soon w/ my hubby ( he will be here in manila soon ) and i just want to show him how wonderful baguio was...
I am surely looking forward to it, Kuya Fred..
WORLD WAR III IS COMING
President Bush decides to leave the White House and go out to sit in a local bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that Bush sitting
at the end of the bar?' !
The bartender says, 'Yep, that's him.' So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor! What are you doing in here?'
Bush says, ' I'm planning WW III.' The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'
Bush says, 'Well, I'm going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits.
The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with big tits?
Why kill a blonde with big tits?'
Bush turns to the bartender and says,
'See, I tried to tell you!!.. No one gives a **** about the 140 million Muslims'.
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