How are guys finding things now the Honeymoon is over and your Girl has arrived in UK ??
I thought I would start a thread on this, now my honey has been in UK for 5 months, I know many of you have had your Girls here for much longer, I sometimes feel a little guilty, as my honey is clearly putting on a brave smile just for me, secretly, I know she is not 100 per cent happy here in UK, I mean who would want to leave all of this ?
It seems rather a joke in some ways, if you remember her interview transcript from June 2005 when the ECO Said
" So you just wanted to go to UK for a better life ? isnt that what you wanted ?"
I suppose you have to really define "Better life"
Yes ok, UK is a rich country, one of the G7 nations, but I don't know how you guys are finding UK Life, but I am increasingly seeing my income is doing less and less here, in terms of what I can buy, and I consider myself to have a higher than average income, money just seems to go nowhere these days, accomodation and petrol, food creeps up and up, and any other luxuries, just seem to escalate in price, when there is little show of any real inflation.
But back to my honey, yes she puts on a brave face, we look at some of the video clips she took at the christmas break, she had her life there, her important job, although the pay was not that good, it wasn't really so much about that, but more of the community life she lived.
For example, here where we live, you never seem to see anyone, like a contributor once said on this forum, "Even when my husband and I were not talking - I realized there is no one to talk to"
that seems to be pretty how much I would describe it, its not like you can have an open door policy here in the area which we live, considering its b......freezing, its raining outside, and we hardly know our neighbours.
I watched a programme yesterday called "No going back" you might have seen them on Sky T.V. its about couples who throw it all at another life in a warmer climate, they risk everything to make a better life as they see it, yesterday it was about a couple who started a carp fishing business in Northern France, it wasnt so much about the cost of living, but more about the social make up of life, better life can mean different things to different people, in France, the social scene seems to be more personalized, but here in UK we dont even say good morning to our next door neighbour, and if we do, we are quick to move on with what we are doing.
Now back to better life scenarios, I know my honey is feeling it, she keeps asking me, "Where is the sun "?
She would ask me, where are the people here in this place ? there is no one to talk to ? in a way, she is right, in the Philippines, she wakes up every morning, surrounded by masses of family, there is always someone to talk to, maybe a quick chit chat outside the house, and on the way to work, the place is filled with the bustle and hustle of trikes, jeepney's and when you are working with a multitude of freinds and colleagues, the day seems to go so quick.
This is the life I have taken her away from, I do feel guilty, as I have brought her to a life, of quiet days on her own, no one to talk to, if she does talk to anyone, its via telephone or internet, she gets out only when I take her, yes she does use the bus and goes to town, uses the tube, and gets around, its not that she wont go out on her own, most of her freinds are hundreds of miles away, I think maybe its the things I often write about for others, the lack of local community, its not like, your house door is open for all and sundry to wander in, 'Sit down..and eat with us...have pulutan, chat chat chat....." no there is none of that, it can be a lonely existence for a Filipina housewife in UK.
Is this the better life......I promised her, hmmmmm I wonder, when she was in the Philippines, she was happy, she ate out most days, she went to the mall for some retail therapy, it didnt matter whether she would purchase anything, that was not the object of her visit, at the mall you can do lots of things, you can browse the sales, with Girlfriends, have coffee at Bobs, maybe a Hungarian sausage, ice cream or Halo Halo, sit and chat the hours away, buy a few essentials, its warm outside, so no fear of being rained off, freezing your Royal nehs nehs, maybe pop into the cinema for a movie, costing only 60 pesos.
What about UK, hmmmmm it takes 45 minutes by car, to go to the mall, if you want to watch a movie its £6.50 per person, thats £13.00 for two of you, and most of the movies, I already saw in the Philippines for 60p why would I want to see them here for a hundred times more, a pal of mine took his Filipina wife and 2 Girls to a movie recently, the cost was £25.00 for the family, his wife could not beleive that we would spend that amount of money on a movie, thats P2400.00, for a movie, when you consider that you need around P300.00 a day for food, thats a major expense on what many there would consider to be a large waste of money.
I suppose we could say that if they can afford to distribute movies in the Philippines at 60 persos per head, then they can do it here also, but the marked difference in rip off Britain certainly does bring it home to you, we could all complain about the cost of living here, this is not the object of my post, its more to do with this mythical phrase
" A BETTER LIFE "
Pauldo, said recently in one of his posts, that his wife and him and the children used to look out of the window at the grey weather, and the houses, and wonder why did they come back here to live in UK"
I thought there was something very true about what he said, as we look out of our window, we certainly wont starve today, we have food, as much as want, we have a nice family car, we have nice toys in the house, we are ok, we are not rich, but we have a comofortable lifestyle, but I can t help feeling, that for the Filipina emigrant, it may not be so much about having the comforts of sustenance and covering, but more about quality of life, better life and quality of life, just do not have the same meaning for me.
When I was on my many trips to the Philippines, I used to feel a sense of happiness also out there, when you wake up, the sun is already up, and you have the feel good factor, I know in UK when the summer comes, we also get it here too, the weather can have a profound effect on the way you feel, but just lately I have noticed that I am fed up to the back teeth with watching for the ever increasing number of speed safety camera vehicles, every day when I am driving there seems to be more and more of them parked on overhead bridges, disguised as Gas vans and other vehicles in laybys, have you noticed them ?
I am so paranoid about them, I am constantly, watching for them, then there is the DVLA tax disc vans, they are appearing more and more, I was stopped recently by a Counterfit fuel inspection team on a local highway, to check if my fuel in the tank is counterfeit, now we have the Highways agency vehicles on patrol, they look like Police vehicles until you get up close.
The cost of living is slowly rising by he year, council tax bills are hiking as much as 300 per cent in some areas, there is talk of £3000.00 a year council tax bills, if we have to start paying £250.00 a month just to pay council tax, on top of rising accomodation costs, whether you are in a mortgage or a rented propery, the figures just dont compute anymore.
I looked at a propery last week with my honey, as we are considering buying a house, we looked at 2 bedroom house in a good area, we are now talking £200.000 to £250.000, at currernt mortgage rates of 4.9 to 6.5 percent, payments on a 25 year mortgage would equate to between £1000.00 to £1300.00 per calendar month, rentals of similar houses are around £650.00 to £850.00.
Petrol running now at 89p to 95p per litre when the petrol protests in 2001 were spiked by a rise to 80p a litire, now seem to be frightening.
Yes ok, the roads in the UK are maintained and in good order, yes we have NHS Treatment if we need it, but the last time I had an operation on my toe booked, they cancelled it 3 times, I had IGTN from July, the appointment was booked for October that year, when I complained that I was in excruciating pain, I had to drive with it for 4 months in that condition, they cancelled my operation 3 times until the following February, when it was finally carried out.
Is this the NHS we are all supposed to be paying for ??
In the Philippines I needed to have some work done on my teeth, I said to my honey, is it possible to see a dentist, ? she said yes, I will call them now for you, she said, oh you can go now for your appointment, so out of the office we went to the dentist, in 10 minutes I was in a dentists chair, having the relevant work carried out, the cost to me was P 350.00, this was for an hours work and consultation.
This equates to around £4.00 for that service, the treatment was excellent, and the Doctor even called me on my mobile to ask how I was, ????
I also needed to have my one of my ears looked at whilst on a recent trip to the Philippines, I told my honey that my left ear was hurting, so she said, we have to get that looked at today, so she called a Doctor's clerk, who promptly booked me for an appointment, I said to my honey "Will we have to see the GP first ?" she said no....I have booked you with an ear specialist today, ?? how many times in the UK, do we first have to go through a local GP before being referred to an ear speciliast ? or a Eye Specialist ? and then how easy is it to get an appointment ?
With my local GP I have to call his clerk, who has to know the inside of my ass before she will make an appointment, and then they say, oh...he cant see you today ? come next Thursday, such is our brilliant NHS Service that we are all paying for, and such is the better life we are all having in UK.
Going to see the Ear Specialist a Dr Arriola, was a complete eye opener for me, he not only solved my problem there and then, he lifted the offending cotton bud out, there and then, and gave me anti biotics, the cost of this service, P300.00 for an hours work again, barely around £3.50 in cost.
I dont know about you guys, but I am beginning to wonder about this better life business, the ECO's keep asking our girls when they go for interviews, whose better Life, theres or ours ?
My honey simply cannot understand why, we have to make an appointment to see a GP when clearly the GP will not be the best person to deal with, surely, if you have an ear problem, you will go to an ear specialist, or if you think you are diabetic, surely you go to a Diabetic clinic with a specilist Doctor who deals in internal medicine.
NOT SO IN THE UK'S LAND OF BETTER LIFE MY DEAR, OH NO, WE HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK TO SEE THE GP, THEN BE REFERRED TO A HOSPITAL, AND IF WE ARE LUCKY, WE MAY GET AN APPOINTMENT IN ABOUT 6 MONTHS TIME !!!.
So what about this better life business ??
Why is it that so many of us, are clamouring for a better life as we see it, in other countries, why is it, that we are constantly bombarded on Sky T.V. with programmes such as
No Going Back
Bangkok Bound
Escape to Paradise
I keep seeing small short progamme features every night, about Bangkok bound, escape to warmer climates, those sort of features, where couples keep saying " We wanted a better quality of life "
Does it not strike you as rather odd, that so many are clamouring to come to UK to have a better life, but why is it so many are clamouring to get out ?
In a recent survey conducted by Sky Travel over 100,000 people have been polled, over 75 per cent of those polled replied yes to the question, if you could afford it, would you emigrate to another country to have a better life ?
Favourite destinations were:
Vancouver Canada,
Italy
France
Spain
Thailand
it only goes to re-inforce what I have said previously, not every mans ideal better life is the same ? better life means different things to different people, that is why I resent so much ECO's saying to Girls from the Philippines,
"So you just wanted to go to UK for a better life "
I think one recent applicant was probably told the right thing, when an ECO said to her
"Why do you want to go UK, its freezing cold and too expensive ?"
At last, we have an ECO who tells it like it is....remember, better life can mean different things to different people.
I would be interested in anyones, serious contributions to this thread in the form of there own views and how they have found it since their girl arrived in UK.
Best wishes
Pete
