Please I need advice

[japonica]

I am so upset that after I have done all the sacrifices to get my annulment to marry him he still does not want to cooperate, anyway we will both benefit if I once become single again.
I now start to doubt on his real feelings to me. I told him that if he really loves me he will help me to get my finality so we can get married.
I know he is not rich. He is single, childless, living alone in his own house and receiving a decent wage.
I trusted my lawyer and believed that once I produce that amount I can get the finality and I can forward it to the Embassy. I explained to him that I will not let anybody to deceive me, it is just legal matters here involved money, but he keep insisted that it is should not be that way and he always compare that in the UK no need to bribe anybody.


I am so upset. Am I too demanding for asking him to help me to get the finality of my annulment?
Please enlighten me. Please I need your advice. Thank you.

[Mrs Daddy]

Sorry to hear your story!I think If I were you I should be listening to my friend before,to dumped him after he let you work back in hongkong again.I think if he loves you he`ll do anything to save your relationship.I am sorry to say this but on my own opinion i see no future to both of you!he should be helping you about you annulment and as well he shouldnt blamed you about 500 pounds.he should help you financialy!but I dont know your whole story really!Hoping you`ll get through this.I find it very difficult situaton really when annnulment case involve but please dont lose hope!theres a light at the end of tunnel remember!/but hopefully its not the train coming...just kidding

[japonica]

Thank you Mrs Daddy for giving your opinion.

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Japonica,
Sorry to hear that news from you. I'm also waiting for my finality. I have lodged my fiancee visa but after a month a lady called and said as soon as i have that paper submit it to the visa office. When did you file your fiancee visa? You should be informed as well that you lack a document. I hope you won't get denied.
I'm so fortunate my fiance is all out support on me on my anullment process. He was so supportive every step of the way. Sometimes he tells me to pay and pay so i will finish and leave the country and be with him but, sometimes i still make bargain on the payments i'm making with my lawyer.
Japonica, i wish you all the best.....

[kimmi]

oh im sorry to hear ur story japonica..i know and understand that u really love him and cant afford to leave him but i guess its beeter for u to give urself some time and space to think it over..

for me, if he really loves u he will do everything to be with u , even helping u sorting out ur annulment..I am sorry I know i dont have the right to give u advices but i guess it will help if u leave him and give urself time to think everything..

I hope and pray that everything will be ok with u soon..Goodluck..

[IanB]

The quick answer is: NO you are not too demanding. His attitude is unbelievable. I hope that you can afford to get your annulment completed, and then you will be a free woman and able to find someone who really appreciates you. If you do get your annulment and then continue your relationship with this man, I hope you find an opportunity in the future to make him pay - in every sense of the word!!!

Ian

[vbkelly]

Thank you Mrs Daddy for giving your opinion.

oh sorry to hear your story japonica hes rediculous man after he promise you to help the annulments after your case is unsolved he dumped you,well if he loves you he do it everything to make your annulments solve but he didn't that means he just after you in one thing. if i we're you leave him and find another man who's willing to help you and to love you,his not a kind of man who deserve to you. i know its not easy to go back to HK to get another job but you have to,you need to earn a money to finish your annulments.

[japonica]

Hi Japonica,
Sorry to hear that news from you. I'm also waiting for my finality. I have lodged my fiancee visa but after a month a lady called and said as soon as i have that paper submit it to the visa office. When did you file your fiancee visa? You should be informed as well that you lack a document. I hope you won't get denied.
I'm so fortunate my fiance is all out support on me on my anullment process. He was so supportive every step of the way. Sometimes he tells me to pay and pay so i will finish and leave the country and be with him but, sometimes i still make bargain on the payments i'm making with my lawyer.
Japonica, i wish you all the best.....

Hi Itsme_Iye,
Firstly, thank you for your reply. I have submitted my application just this month. You are such a lucky woman to have a very supportive fiance. Goodluck to your application, too.

[japonica]

oh im sorry to hear ur story japonica..i know and understand that u really love him and cant afford to leave him but i guess its beeter for u to give urself some time and space to think it over..

for me, if he really loves u he will do everything to be with u , even helping u sorting out ur annulment..I am sorry I know i dont have the right to give u advices but i guess it will help if u leave him and give urself time to think everything..

I hope and pray that everything will be ok with u soon..Goodluck..

Hi Kimmi, Thanks for your input.
I think you are right, I should give myself time and a bit of space.

[japonica]

The quick answer is: NO you are not too demanding. His attitude is unbelievable. I hope that you can afford to get your annulment completed, and then you will be a free woman and able to find someone who really appreciates you. If you do get your annulment and then continue your relationship with this man, I hope you find an opportunity in the future to make him pay - in every sense of the word!!!

Ian

Hi IanB,
Thanks for your reply. I was really waiting for an opinion from male, to see from the man`s point of view if it is wrong to demand him to help me to solved my annulment on its final step of completion. I ve been telling him that, to gain my freedom and become single again means so much to me. If man only understand how it is difficult for us woman being in a complicated situation. It is just here in the Philippines that annulment takes time and cost a fortune, it is really unfair for the woman who wanted to be free again and wanted to start a new life.

[japonica]

oh sorry to hear your story japonica hes rediculous man after he promise you to help the annulments after your case is unsolved he dumped you,well if he loves you he do it everything to make your annulments solve but he didn't that means he just after you in one thing. if i we're you leave him and find another man who's willing to help you and to love you,his not a kind of man who deserve to you. i know its not easy to go back to HK to get another job but you have to,you need to earn a money to finish your annulments.

Hi Vbkelly,
I think thats likely Im gonna do. Thank you very much.

[joebloggs]

i didn't need to pay for annulment, as my wife wasn't married, but even b4 we were engaged, i was willingly paying her uni's, rent etc, i never expected her to pay for anything. if he's like this now, you think he will change once your married he should be doing everything for you and everything possible for you to be with him, if he loved you

[IanB]

it is really unfair for the woman who wanted to be free again and wanted to start a new life.

I agree completely. And I'm afraid that the Catholic church has to take the blame for that injustice.

Ian

[kentish]

He blamed me that his 500pounds will just be wasted because I will get denied.
Now, he said that I better to go back to HK again.

If I was in your situation I would go back to HK, work and repay back his £500 and tell him I'm 50-50 about accepting his marriage proposal.And maybe better to stay single as Mr Right is just somewhere around?

[IanB]

Why pay back the £500 - he obviously isn't worth it. Thats his loss for being such a pain in the ass!

Ian

[LadyJ]

Now, he said that I better to go back to HK again.

Dump him before he do it to you. If he is serious in your relationship then the guy must do everything they can for their lady..He turned you down many times, I guess he is not the right guy for you!

[Marwin08]

im sorry japonica for having this difficult situation. You need to have alot of thinking this time. He dont deserve your love. There's so many fishes in the ocean. I know its really difficult for u coz u are totally inlove with this guy. Hope u can cope up and God will help u see the light
Based on your experienced, when my Bf asked me to go home in the phils for us to get married during the first meeting.
It makes me worried that what if our meeting will turns into a disaster i can't be able to come back here in israel.
In every relationship,u need to use ur mind also most especially when it concerns ur future.

[KeithD]

There's so many fishes in the ocean

Not around the Philippines....you've eaten them all

[ca143]

Japonica,
im so very sorry to heard ur story,i think this man not deserving ur relationship.if i am u go back to HK show him that u stand on ur own feet to resolve ur annulment.

[Tiggers0608]

hi japonica, sorry to hear your story as to what everyone said they are right really, if your fiancee love you dearly he will support you in many ways, sis if he thinks its a waste of money, maybe you should be thinking what if you end up with this guy .... will he be the right one???
coz based on what you said i dont think he is, just think about it japonica he was never there when you need him the most. there's a lot of descent guys out there who will respect and love you and will stand beside you sis.
I maybe wrong sis but like i said its just based on what you said. good luck on your annulment.

[pennybarry]

Just fine if you spent your hard earned money in your annulment BUT having a DUCK **** (tight) BF is really unreal! I would dump him ASAP. Don't loose your hope in finding the right man for you! Cheer Up !
My Brod in-Law's wife was a domestic Helper in HK before and when she met my brod-in-law, her wife work visa going back to HK was approved. But my Brod said, I Will give you choices, marry me and reject your visa, or you can go back to HK again. Her wife chosen to marry and they are now living happily and running business!

[wobblybob]

Firstly may I ask what your B/F has provided so far in your relationship and how long you have been together, how many times has he visited you in the philippines, if he has already visited you several times and provided money for your living, he should pay the money or it has been a financial waste of time for him, if he has only visited once, and declared love for you and sent you a bit of money, then maybe he is only half hearted about the relationship and having doubts, best just leave it for a while for him to consider what he really wants and let him decide without you asking for anymore money.
Just my thoughts

[andypaul]

like wobbly bob mentions we don't know the full story of the two of you.
Have you both met in person several times or for a period of time?

500 pounds is a lot of money to most people in the UK wheter they have a house and job or not.

[KeithD]

500 pounds is a lot of money to most people .....

I put that on a horse

[baboyako]

I put that on a horse

thats one hell of a handicap

[andypaul]

thats one hell of a handicap

thats a tough horse