Quote Originally Posted by Jenky View Post
It does get to you. My wife`s family nobody works and when the s**t hits the fan regarding one of probably thirty different relatives in the good old Fil then the first thing that happens is she gets a txt asking for some help from the money tree that they all think grows in our garden.
Her brother died last year and she went straight to the bank and borrowed a four figure sum to pay for the funeral. At least she used some of the money to buy a small plot of burial land and so I guess the next time it may not be so expensive as there is already a resting place.
It makes me sad to see a lot of her salary every month being used to pay off this loan and various other hospital bills on top of the regular monthly allowance she sends them for provisions. But as she says to me who else will do it? I cant let my parents/relatives die.......Part of the joys of being married to a Filipina I guess. Unless you are lucky enough to be married to one whose family also has a money tree growing in their garden. You just have to bite your tongue when you want to say something about it because you will only make it worse than it already is.
There's some truth in what you say. When I was earning a good amount I could afford to help but limited my contributions for education, medical emergencies and funerals.
I always tried to avoid anything else, but in honesty didn't always deny my conscience.

Since being retired and also since living here, we've made our position clear. It has sadly resulted in almost all of my wife's family being cut-off from us for one reason or another.

In terms of education help, it's only there for those who I feel have the capability, motivation and character to see it through and help their siblings in like.
For Medical help I only support payment of hospital bills that I've pre-approved and for medication that I personally source and supply.

Funerals are a tricky one. I always decide who of us , or both, will attend the burial and exactly which part of the funeral we will support and how much.

It might sound tough from a western frame of reference, but it's just common sense really given the culture and tradition here for the vast majority.

My bro-in-law would be considered to be living in poverty. However, not that he didn't get opportunities.