I was in bed with a blind girl last night , and she said to me,
"That's the biggest dick I have ever held in my hands",
I said , "your pulling my leg"
I was in bed with a blind girl last night , and she said to me,
"That's the biggest dick I have ever held in my hands",
I said , "your pulling my leg"
BREAKING NEWS
Man takes airline to court over them losing his luggage.
HE LOST HIS CASE
A man was taken to hospital and they found 6 plastic horse's up his bum,
His condition is STABLE
A guy goes into a Scottish bakers,
"How much is that cake he asked",
"A poond"
What about that one,
"A poond"
And what about this one too,
"A poond",
All my cakes are a poond the baker says ,
Well how about this one then,
Ach "Thats two poonds"
Whys that,
"Thats Madeira cake"
???Originally Posted by stevewool
That's ma ... Scots' pronunciation of "my" ...???
... followed by deira ... how the word "dearer" ... as in this example - twice the price - sounds to others when pronounced in [some] Scots' dialects.
explanation is "straight from the horse's mouth" [mine] Michael!
Thank you Arthur, said in your tongue it sounded wonderful tooThat's ma ... Scots' pronunciation of "my" ...
... followed by deira ... how the word "dearer" ... as in this example - twice the price - sounds to others when pronounced in [some] Scots' dialects.
When you have to explain a joke it's dead already???
You just have to face it, this time you're through.....You probably asked for too much money, money, money
I cannot stand people who think there worst of then everyone else.
I have a friend named Don, he was involved in a bad accident.
He lost his voice and both leg's, but do you ever here or see him make a song and dance of it, " not at all"
The winner takes it all.............
Aww, nice compliment there, Steve ...Thank you Arthur, said in your tongue it sounded wonderful too
It's funny telling jokes in a accent, but somehow some folk can still kill the jokeAww, nice compliment there, Steve ...
A friend crashed his car the other day,
Right in between two houses.
On the left hand side lived Mr Smith,
On the right hand side lived Mr Balls,
Luckily he was dragged out of his car by the Smiths
What a lovely little joke, like it
Emma said to me the other day that she was feeling light headed from a low iron level.
So to help her,
I raised the iron board to a suitable height
I opened up a bakery the other day and this lady phoned me for a request, she wanted me to make a cake and sign on it " I SUCK COCKS ", I thought that's weird but I made it anyway.
I delivered the cake the next day and Mrs Cox was not happy also her son Issac was not impressed too
I went to the doctors the other day complaining of hearing voices coming from my boxers .
The doctor said " ignore them they are talking .......s "
A red Indian friend introduce me to his wife the other day,
" This is four houses his said " ,
What a beautiful name I replied," what does it mean I asked.
Nag nag nag nag he answered
There is a new survey saying that women are the best archeologist now.
Because they are great at digging up sh_ t from the past
Two aerials got hitched,. Whilst they denounced the Service as "rubbish"
... the Reception was BRILLIANT!
Hmm... police arrested a couple of teenagers yesterday. One was found drinking
battery acid, and the other eating fireworks.
So ...... they charged the first - and let the second off!
A Russian couple was walking down the street one night in Moscow , when the man suddenly felt a drop hit his nose.
I think its starting to rain he said to his wife, no she said its more like snow.
No its rain , then they started to argue there and then in the street.
The they saw there local communist party leader walking towards them, they said lets not argue about this but lets ask comrade Rudolph whether its officially its raining or snowing .
The comrade said its raining and then he carried on walking.
The lady insisted its snowing still,
Then her husband quietly replied , Rudolph the red knows rain dear,
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