Alternative Brexit explanation

[SimonH]

Imagine having a partner, who doesn't really like you, but is controlling, condescending and happy to take your money. They tell you what you can and cannot do, what you can buy and who from.

They are also happy to let strangers come into your house who use your stuff and also spend your money. Some of them do useful stuff, but others just sponge off you. Ultimately, there isn't enough room, but your partner insists that you let more people in.
Finally, despite some very serious threats, you prove that you have the strength to leave your partner and set this in motion.

Your partner is hurt and angry and promises that they will make the break up as difficult and painful as possible; make an example of you.
Still, you've made the decision and are looking forward to a fresh start.

Unfortunately, your partner left you with a, smelly mongrel dog, called 'Scotland'.
Scotland hates you and sits in the corner of your lounge, growling at you, but is happy for you to feed him and pay his vet's bills. You hope that Scotland will finally stop sponging off you and piss off back to your ex-partner.

You're happy to keep you ex's cat called Wales though, as Wales helped you leave your partner and has lovely fur.
Your partner's rabbit, which they left out in the back yard, called 'Northern Ireland' has schizophrenia, caused by years of being savaged by the neighbour's rabid dog, called ‘ROI’.
As it betrayed you, and unless it can sort out its multitude of problems, it probably needs to have a serious word with itself, or be eaten by ROI.

The septic tank under the back garden, which your partner nicknamed 'London' has been full for years and has been backing up, causing problems in the rest of the house. It almost made you stay with your partner, as you hoped they would eventually sort it out.

Still, things are looking up and hopefully, once all the vitriol and recriminations are out of the way, the future will be bright.

Anyway, lets make the most of this unique opportunity.

[Michael Parnham]

How nice to name your pets after different places, good idea

[stevewool]

Imagine having a partner, who doesn't really like you, but is controlling, condescending and happy to take your money. They tell you what you can and cannot do, what you can buy and who from.

They are also happy to let strangers come into your house who use your stuff and also spend your money. Some of them do useful stuff, but others just sponge off you. Ultimately, there isn't enough room, but your partner insists that you let more people in.
Finally, despite some very serious threats, you prove that you have the strength to leave your partner and set this in motion.

Your partner is hurt and angry and promises that they will make the break up as difficult and painful as possible; make an example of you.
Still, you've made the decision and are looking forward to a fresh start.

Unfortunately, your partner left you with a, smelly mongrel dog, called 'Scotland'.
Scotland hates you and sits in the corner of your lounge, growling at you, but is happy for you to feed him and pay his vet's bills. You hope that Scotland will finally stop sponging off you and piss off back to your ex-partner.

You're happy to keep you ex's cat called Wales though, as Wales helped you leave your partner and has lovely fur.
Your partner's rabbit, which they left out in the back yard, called 'Northern Ireland' has schizophrenia, caused by years of being savaged by the neighbour's rabid dog, called ‘ROI’.
As it betrayed you, and unless it can sort out its multitude of problems, it probably needs to have a serious word with itself, or be eaten by ROI.

The septic tank under the back garden, which your partner nicknamed 'London' has been full for years and has been backing up, causing problems in the rest of the house. It almost made you stay with your partner, as you hoped they would eventually sort it out.

Still, things are looking up and hopefully, once all the vitriol and recriminations are out of the way, the future will be bright.

Anyway, lets make the most of this unique opportunity.

Bloody hell Simon I thought you was on about someone on here

[SimonH]

Bloody hell Simon I thought you was on about someone on here

It would appear that some have an EU wife

[stevewool]

I am sure there are a few

[Harry T]

Hahahaha Lovely description Simon..

[fred]

.
Excellent!!
Rep on the way.