Dumb kid?

[Tawi2]

A young boy walks into a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer.
“This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks.
“Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
“That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!

[Tawi2]

My girlfriend told me to go to the doctors and get for something that would help me have an erection,you should have seen her face when i came back and gave her a box of diet pills

[Michael Parnham]

Brilliant!

[Tawi2]

A police officer called the station on his radio.
"I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"Not yet. The floor's still wet."

[Michael Parnham]

Just had to