Nigel, I can understand your feelings as I know some Filipinas in the UK who send lots of money home. I know of one who sent a large sum of money to put one of the children through school, but when it came to her going there the family had spent the money.
When my hubby and I first got together it was with the understanding on both sides that he wasn't rich and didn't have much (he is divorced with 3 kids that drain his funds through the CSA) and I and my family have never asked anything of him, although he has been generous on many occasions when he has had sufficient funds.
I am now working and manage to finance my sister through college, but my family make commitments too. My sister works hard in college and gets good grades, I provide things for family members to sell, they don't want 'hand-outs'.
I don't think Filipinos really understand the difference in the finances between countries, when I came to the UK it took a long time to appreciate how much things cost, but at the end of the day it's all relative, salaries here are much higher, but so is the cost of living, between you, you and your gf need to make the family understand, I think also you need to agree what limits you are going to give yourselves for any finances you send, but from reading your post it doesn't seem like they need very much financial help.
Health care -we have the Phil Health which you can pay voluntarily and is not very expensive and helps towards the cost of medical care. We also have the private health insurance which is of course more costly but will also cover more things.
