To everyone,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sorry If I made some of you cried, sad and touched.

if i have to compile all my threads it will turn out into chapters of an untitled book, i just realised that it is actually the story of my whole journey to Uk, and this forum had turned into my diary, I'm doing these to pour out a little of whats inside me and at the same time I want all our friends here and myself as well to learn something from my experiences.

To be honest, i love my man, if something bad happens...I'm ready to put my self before him. My whole life was spent to be being nice cos I believe that its easier to be a good person than the other way around, but the sad part of it I am so prone to be taken for granted cos anyway I'm nice and most of the time taken advantage.

i dont think that its easy to find a new man, specially when you invested a lot of time, effort and emotions and was honest with your intentions. I just feel like Im running out of time cos mmmmmm..i'm 34 and want to settle into a very simple but comfortable family life with a very loving husband, I envy and proud to all the couples here in this forum, I often wish that I was Gina, Eula, chris, and all the rest.

I want to share a Poem that i wrote in 1998 seems i had predicted my life 10 yers ago....


THE BEGINNING…THE BEGINNING OF MY LIFE

When one is young, one never thinks of growing old, pays no mind of age.

Youth lies to us, blinds us, gives a false sense of immortality, makes us believe we are supreme, unbeatable, everlasting...

How frightening it is to learn that we are only too mortal, vulnerable, and that in the end we must die.

Love, laughter, life lived to the fullest-those were the things we cared about then.

When we are grown old and horrendous things happen to destroy the fabric of one's existence, age makes it easier to cope in so many ways.

We have acquired understanding, wisdom is ours, and we have life's experience to draw on and sustain us.

In our youth when trouble comes to plague us we have few weapon with which to combat it, no ready references, no old knowledge stored in our bones, no inner resources to see us through. It overwhelms, It can destroy us.

I KNOW THIS AND I KNOW IT WELL.

It was in my youth that great trouble came, life was difficult....terrible.

Unconscious things happen when I was young, destructive acts were perpetrated against me.

I SUFFERED ALONE.

I had no one to help me. No one to rescue me. No one to ease the pain. No one to console me. But I did not take my life. I found courage and strength within my self. I lived again. I came back up. Slowly. I rose higher. I soared.

I had not born great, But I had been born with courage.

Life is hard it meant to be hard. To test us, to test our mettle, break us, or make us, And the lessons of life are equally hard. Yet, if we are quick, then we only have to learn those lessons ONCE.

Very few people have an east time in this world, what count most is that we survive, endure.
My whole life is ahead of me. I'll live it well from this day ...forward..... B’98