joke

[jimcarie]

An Australian ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a small
village and sees a local man sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the
Welshman "G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' allright."

Welshman (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?"
(pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me
great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Welshman: (look of utter disbelief),

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Welshman: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Welshman: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the
elements."

Welshman: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Welshman: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."

[winner]

[nigel]

A missionary was sent to live with a tribe in the jungle. He stayed there several years, teaching them to speak English, and how to read and write. He also taught them the christian ways of the white man, and he expressed to them that adultery and fornication was an evil sin.

One day, one of the tribal women gave birth to a white baby! The chief of the tribe demanded an explanation from him! The missionary says "It's an albino! A natural occurrence, just like that black sheep over there!"

The chief looks perplexed for a moment, he says "If you say nothing about the sheep, I'll say nothing about the baby!"

[nigel]

Where I'm from mate we shear those! - I'm not sharing this with anybody!

[Mrs.JMajor]

Where I'm from mate we shear those! - I'm not sharing this with anybody!

can i sell my joke as well ...try the kissing test at humour page hehehe