Firstly, I'd just like to say hi to everyone as this is my first post. I found this site last night and already feel I've learnt a few things.
I'm looking for your opinions on my current situation which is a very new thing to me. Unfortunately, to get your best informed decision will require me to explain the full situation. I apologise if this is a long post.
The background :- I went to Hong Kong with a couple of male friends back in December last year for a week. On our first night there in Central, we came across a bar where there were Filipino working girls in the back of the bar. We got chatting with a couple of them. One of which I hit it off with and eventually went back to the hotel. We chatted for about 3 or 4 hours before having "fun". When we talked, she offered to take me to Lantau island during the day. At the time, I thought nothing of it, and the following morning I paid and we said our goodbyes.
On Sunday night, myself and my friends went elsewhere in HK.
On Monday night, we went back into Central and eventually the same bar where I met the girl (Anna) from Saturday night. As we walked in, I admit I was looking for her. After 20 minutes she appeared and waved at me. I spoke to her and again, we eventually went back to the hotel. Again, we talked for about 4 or 5 hours. The conversation got pretty emotional at one point on both sides as we were talking about each others families and some of our pasts, and how she hated doing what she was doing. She couldn't believe she was telling me stuff so easily and I'd never been able to talk about things like that to anyone including strangers before. We slept together that night, but nothing happened. In the morning when I handed her the money, she got a bit upset and said she didn't want to take my money, but had to. I told her I understood.
On Tuesday, I went back to the bar to meet her and again later she came back to the hotel, where again we chatted for around 5 hours. Again, we slept in the same bed, but nothing happened. Due to the amount of talking we were doing, we went to bed around 9am and woke at around 3pm. When she left, I didn't give her any money and she didn't ask. In fact, apart from the initial first night I met her, she never asked me for any money, but I always knew I would be paying her. On Thursday morning I did give her the money for the last two nights, although she hadn't asked me for it.
The way things went on Tuesday was pretty much how the rest of the holiday went. She was basically with me 24 hours a day, bar a few hours in the afternoon when she would go home to get changed.
On my last night in HK she got upset and eventually she told me it was because she didn't want me to go and she really liked me. I told her I felt the same. Of course both of us wanted to know why each other hadn't said something. For me, it was because as much as I believed her that she didn't want to do what she was doing, I still felt she was being the way she was around me because I was paying her. For her, it was because I'd said on numerous occasions, "What happens in HK, stays in HK!" This led her to think that I was just going to forget about her once I left HK.
On the day I left Hong Kong, as we were saying goodbye, she gave me a little momento to take with me. We swapped mobile numbers (her Filipino one) and e-mail addresses.
For the first 2 weeks I was home after the holiday, Anna stayed in Hong Kong to work. I knew when I came back this was going to happen as we'd discussed it and I understood. However, every day for the 2 weeks we texted and spoke for 4 hours every night, pretty much during when she would be working. Some of the nights she was upset as she said she was missing me and getting stick from her friends for being unhappy and not working. Like I say, due to the time of day (HK time) we were talking, it was pretty much when she should have been working so I'm confident when she says she hadn't worked, she hadn't!
When we talked as well, there were a lot of things that happened in HK between us that became clearer. She's told me how she was looking out for me on the Sunday night with information about Lantau island and was disappointed when I didn't show. She was also disappointed when I didn't ask for her number after Saturday night. She also told me how on a couple of night we all went out to a few bars how proud she was to walk into places with me, especially the one where I'd originally met her. All her friends that night were surprised to see her as they hadn't seen her since Monday night as she'd been with me. They all thought she had gone back to the Philippines. Apparently, although some of the girls have local regular "customers", none have been with a guy for a whole week like me and Anna had.
Now, finally to where I'd like some advice. Again, apologies as I know this is a pretty long post!
Since Anna got back to the Philippines at the end of the year where she has 2 kids (9 and 2), we've only spoken a few times and then for no longer than half an hour. Her texts have dramatically dropped off as well, with some replies not coming back for a day or so. I appreciate the cost of international texts in the Philippines is ridiculous even by UK standards, so the lack of text messages I can understand and I learnt not to always get a reply. However, if I text her to say I'm going to call at some point, she asks me to text her first before calling because she's so busy! Other than looking after her kids, I have no idea what she's doing as I don't think she has a proper job. If I have called out of the blue, she doesn't always answer. I did have a bad week the other week where I didn't get any replies to text messages and couldn't raise her on the phone. In the end, after a week she text me to say she had been in a Jeepney accident the week before and had been in hospital in her home town with a broken shoulder and a fever. Her phone was in Manila at a cousins where the accident had originally happened and that's why she hadn't called or replied to my texts. Once she explained the missing week, I felt ok as I kind of believe her.
The problem is, it can go a day or so before I hear from her which drives me crazy. The last time I heard from her was the start of the week as she's trying to arrange a tourist visa to visit me for a week. I've agreed with her that if she sorted out the cost of the visa and booked her flights to HK, I would pay for her flights from HK to the UK. Again, she never asked me to do this, I offered. I'm booked on a flight to see her in the Philippines at the end of April where I'm going to meet her family, but we'd like to see each other sooner. Since Monday I've text her a couple of times and today I've tried phoning her 3 times with no answer. The phone just rings out! I've read on here and other places how Filipino's are pretty much attached to their phones. If it wasn't for the lack of communication since she got back to the Philippines, I'd be confident in our relationship.
Does anyone have any advice? Am I just being overly sensitive regarding the communication in this instance? I appreciate any feedback, especially if you've read everything above! :-)
Money players.......
Originally Posted by mhynne
Sorry, the Hongkong part was like a cut and paste from that story.
