Beware The Dark Side Of Online Dating

[LadyJ]

Nearly half of Britain's 4.7 million online daters are the victim of harassment, fraud and scams, new research shows.

Warning to online datersThe study found one in 10 Brits has used an online dating agency or internet chat room for socialising.

But almost half (46%) have fallen victim to foul play, including suffering from online harassment (11%).

One third have been lied to about the appearance of someone they are dating online (37%).

And, somewhat surprisingly, men (21%) are almost twice as likely to online date as women (12%).

The research was carried out by online identity experts Garlik.

"Online dating is a way of life for a growing number of Brits and it's a fun, and often very safe, way to meet new people," chief executive Tom Ilube said.

"Unfortunately, at the same time online fraudsters are moving away from simple email scams to more sophisticated and cynical techniques.

"They include building relationships online, sometimes over several months of careful grooming, and then asking for money or stealing identities.

"All of us need to wake up quickly to this new wave of online fraud."


Make sure you're taking precautionsThe findings also reveal online daters are giving out personal details like their date of birth (44%), mobile number (22%), and address (14%).

This is putting many at risk of identity fraud and worse.

Are you taking online dating precautions?

* Don't post or give away any information that you would not give to a stranger.

* Do your research - if someone you are dating online tells you about a company he/she works for, then look it up online.

* Don't reveal too much - avoid giving away your full date of birth or posting your mobile phone number or email addresses online.

* Ask a friend to have a quick look at bits of your online dating conversations. A good friend will tell you pretty quickly if something looks wrong.

* If you're asked for money, walk away.

[KeithD]

Problem with research like that is everones definition of scam, harrassment, etc is different.

[nigel]

"The dark side of the force leads to many ability, some consider to be unnatural!" I didn't realise that internet scams were as bad as all that! What I don't like is these emails I recieve, telling me I must give my bank details to update their records!?? - Do they think we are completely stupid?? I can't resist telling them my name is "Marilyn Monroe" and my password is "ooh boopy doo!" or maybe "Mr Penis" and password "I am a ********!" And these emails saying I've won the lottery..saying I can't claim the money unless I pay for some sort of insurance through western union..I've wasted their time with a few false MTCN numbers!

[aromulus]

"The dark side of the force leads to many ability, some consider to be unnatural!" I didn't realise that internet scams were as bad as all that! What I don't like is these emails I recieve, telling me I must give my bank details to update their records!?? - Do they think we are completely stupid?? I can't resist telling them my name is "Marilyn Monroe" and my password is "ooh boopy doo!" or maybe "Mr Penis" and password "I am a ********!" And these emails saying I've won the lottery..saying I can't claim the money unless I pay for some sort of insurance through western union..I've wasted their time with a few false MTCN numbers!

What are you doing out of bed at this time of the night....????

[KeithD]

What are you doing out of bed at this time of the night....????

He's waiting for Viagra No.12 to start working......

[RHB]

Problem with research like that is everones definition of scam, harrassment, etc is different.

harrasment, I agree, but a scam is a scam, to steal money or identity. There are boiler rooms in the philippines full of young girls and guys extorting money from foreigners. they carefully get aquianted and get funds transferred via Western Union etc. and work on commission. then there are many many idependents doing the same. be aware.

[KeithD]

Scams are viewed differently by individuals. See it all the time on here, people getting asked for money for a new kindney, the dogs broken leg, grannies trapped testicle, etc, some folk dump them ASAP, others end up happily married.

[nigel]

If you must know Vimvie still isn't used to British time, so we've been up all night and sleeping through the day! Well Vimvie has, I just sort of, haven't slept at all!! How do I manage that?

He's waiting for Viagra No.12 to start working......

[joebloggs]

Scams are viewed differently by individuals. See it all the time on here, people getting asked for money for a new kindney, the dogs broken leg, grannies trapped testicle, etc, some folk dump them ASAP, others end up happily married.

so right scouser keith,

i feel i've been used a bit in the past, rather than scammed, becuase we got married in the end

but some of the excuses for money i got, i doubted at the time, most turned out to be true in the end, one of the most expensive ones, her friend asked her if that was her mobile inside the toilet, yes it was , nothing but the newest and one of the most expensive nokia's would do as a replacement

[RHB]

The fact that someone is gulible or too stupid to see it coming does not diminish the fact that it is a scam. That is a non debateable issue. There are no degrees of scam. they are or are not.

You have about a 1 in 10 chance of getting a good Filipina girl, even less via chat or mail order brides. I do know one lucky guy on this forum who is a rare exception to the online approach.

[KeithD]

We've just proved to you the difference views people have, and how they regard them as scams, and you say it is non-debatable.....well your even wrong with that, we are having a debate on it.

Why do you think law is so hard to write? Because of different views by different people. The vast majority of words have different limits & meanings......

"That is a huge plane".....well it may not be to me....

"He murdered that girl".....I think it was manslaughter....etc...etc...

....and your 1 in 10 .....proof.....boy...proof......

[joebloggs]

The fact that someone is gulible or too stupid to see it coming does not diminish the fact that it is a scam. That is a non debateable issue. There are no degrees of scam. they are or are not.

You have about a 1 in 10 chance of getting a good Filipina girl, even less via chat or mail order brides. I do know one lucky guy on this forum who is a rare exception to the online approach.

gulible or stupid, is that what you call someone who helps you out

sorry we are debating it, you think we've been scammed. i think i was used, who knows better you or me

maybe i should have consulted you , hey maybe you would have told me to forget her . and it wouldn't work out

oh guess what, you would have been wrong
happily married for more than 5 years

well i must be one of the many 1 in 10s on here who thinks they are lucky

[Alan]

I must hang my head in shame and say that I did send some money for 'necessaries' before I was told/became wise to 'scammers.'

Is 'scammers' the right word? Extortion springs to mind - I would love to go as far as 'criminals' but I (for obvious reasons) cannot.

I have learned lessons the hard way - thankfully, the amount I sent was very low.

I think that God has paid me back with the most beautiful girl in the world! I count myself SOOOOOO lucky!

Al.

P.S. I wish all the male guys on here the same luck as I have had.

[joebloggs]

AL is not your fault your a decent guy

to me the meaning of 'scammed' is that the person had no other intentions but to get as much money out of you as possible, with no commitment to you or having any sort of relationship with you.

while being 'used' is that they do have a relationship of some sort with you, and they may believe that us europeans are well off and as they have this relationship they can or need to ask you for help with paying for whatever, even thou the reason they give might not be the real reason.

the first time i sent money to my misses, i got an email off her mom, telling me its nothnig to do with me and stay out of it. took me along time to persude her mom to allow me to send the money, even thou it was an emergency..

[RHB]

Al is the exception I spoke of, has a lovely wife. Hi Al. I see what you mean...

scam, lets define the term.
Obviously, must I elaborate? giving money to your wife or girlfriend who you accept is not a scam. Wives have been supported by husbands for a few eons or so...
Giving money via long distance to a person who has no intention of living with you, or will marry you to abandon you once in the home land is perpetrating a scam. rather than react with hostility, understand the statement in the context it was meant. (my post) It isn't rocket science.

Ask Al how many filipinas he weeded out before finding his sweet girl, rather more than 10-1 ratio I guess.
anyway have a nice day :-)

[joebloggs]

ask how many guys on here who have been married before, feel like they've been scammed by their wife , AL ? do you feel like that ?, there are a few on here i know of..

you don't know anyone wifes on here, maybe AL's , so where do you get the 1 in 10 number from ?

saying that you only have a 1 in 10 chance of getting a good filipina girl, to me is an insult to most filipinas

maybe you've only known the bad ones

and have a nice day to
i'll be going home in 7hrs to my 1 in 10 filipina

[RHB]

Well now Iv'e gone and done it, got a moderator and admin riled up.
guess I won't be getting any of those green thingys.
Don't want to rock your boat, but obviously I struck a chord there.

[joebloggs]

the only chord struck might be the one around your neck when the filipinas on here get hold of you

i'm sure the ladies will be replying soon

to

you....

its a forum and a debate, wether we agree or not. so what

take it easy i've got to work now

[hilda_danao]

If you wanna know the truth. i will suggest. Go the Philippines.make a documentary film. disguise or hire a filipino to interview many filipinos inside an internet cafe, those that are dating through the internet. of course tell them you will not show their identity. then you will know the real story behind...they maybe have genuine intention or not..then you will see the ratio.

[aromulus]

rather more than 10-1 ratio I guess.
:-)

I must have hit jackpot then....

After meeting my, now, wife for the first time, and having spent blissful 10 days in cebu with her, I returned home.
Not even two weeks after my return, I receive a text from her, asking for help as her father had suffered a stroke and needed hospital care. She asked for a small financial contribution towards the expenses, but if I couldn't, I was not to worry about it....
I was absolutely smitten with Jet, and wanted to help, I did not doubt for a minute that she was telling the truth. My only problem was on how to get the money there asap. Then I remembered meeting a yank at the hotel, a member of the old ASAWA. we did have a few SM together, and our girls got on very well sharing some sweet sticky ice cream looking stuff, and I still had his YM addy. So I got in touch and paypalled his account with a couple hundred quid. Within a few hours they got in touch with Jet, and found her with the rest of the family at the hospital bedside.
After that, I went back again. Gave her a pc, got her a homephone line in and Broadband.
All she ever asked me in all the months since, was just the money to pay for those services.
Anything else I gave them, was because I wanted to.
Her dad, after recuperating, gave Jet a rollicking for asking me for the pc, then apologized to her after I told him that she never did. The whole bunch, are a proud lot, that little they have, they have worked for it, and it ain't much by anybody's standards.

So you cannot tar all Filipinas with the same brush, mate.

Hold on..... Jet first payday today... and she's not back home yet.........

[aromulus]

If you wanna know the truth. i will suggest. Go the Philippines.make a documentary film. disguise or hire a filipino to interview many filipinos inside an internet cafe, those that are dating through the internet. of course tell them you will not show their identity. then you will know the real story behind...they maybe have genuine intention or not..then you will see the ratio.

Yup.... And after, where would you like to have your remains shipped to...???

[kimmi]

So you cannot tar all Filipinas with the same brush, mate.

I agree with u Dom...Very well said..

Hold on..... Jet first payday today... and she's not back home yet.........

Maybe she's just buying some dried fish..

[joebloggs]

sure your going to meet scammers in a internet cafe, where else would you meet them ? how else could those 9 out of 10 scam long distance !!

not a true representative sample of filipina's can be found in internet cafes, it's like going to nigera and trying to find an honest ebayer there

i didn't meet my wife thru the internet cafe or dating web sites, it was pure bad , i mean good luck

[RHB]

If you wanna know the truth. i will suggest. Go the Philippines.make a documentary film. disguise or hire a filipino to interview many filipinos inside an internet cafe, those that are dating through the internet. of course tell them you will not show their identity. then you will know the real story behind...they maybe have genuine intention or not..then you will see the ratio.

good idea there, since I live in the Philippines I do see this phenomena every day. I am not intending to paint all filipinas as money grabbers, but there are many here just waiting their chance for a ticket out, and they don't care how they do it. If anyone says you shouldn't be cautious when considering the Asian girlfriend or bride, it would be bad counsil.

The I cafes are full of young girls chatting away to several foreign boy friends at one time. Once you live here you get the real picture. not that I can blame the girls, many who come from extreme poverty, move to the city, and see the other side.

The scammers are not the ones simply looking for a mate. The scammers are intent on extracting money from foreigners. I have seen it too many times to count living here.

There is at least one place here even in our small town that has employed girls round the clock chatting on line with the intent of getting money sent to them. the "employers" give them a small percentage. So they are being exploited themselves.

I am very happy to have a beutiful Filipina wife here, and I am equally happy for you guys who have "hit the jackpot". We are the fortunate ones.
But my wife will be the first to agree with me on this. The Philippines is not the UK, Philippine culture differs significantly from the UK. You may think you know people, but you have to be careful.

My one in ten is obviously an anectdotal observation, but it is probably a conservative estimate. But then it depends on what your willing to accept and looking for. Of course if you have an adequate disposable income, bring your wife back to the UK and don't mind trading Gucci bags for loyalty, that's entirely your bussiness. If your a pedophile or are looking for a simple slave, or father daughter relationship, then OK. You can find a simple girl and play pygmalion. but to find a woman to be a loving wife and equal partner is a little more difficult.

Your living in a dream world if you don't know how most Philippinos regard foreigners. It takes time to get to know the upstanding citizens here, they will hold you at arms length until you prove yourself. However once you gain the respect from the local community, you will have loyal friends for life. Its the ones that don't do that you need to be cautious of. You can criticize me if you like, but I'm only speaking from living here for some years now in a small town with a large expat community.

and a scam is a scam

[KeithD]

and a scam is a scam

As in your own definition yes, but maybe not in mine....Joes'...Rob's....Pete's.....etc....

[andypaul]

I agree with u Dom...Very well said..




Maybe she's just buying some dried fish..

Dom Shouldn't you help Jet with carrying that industrial size can of vinegar

On the way back from work don't forget to pop into the local hardware shop and get a new face mask and goggles

[andypaul]

h

good idea there, since I live in the Philippines I do see this phenomena every day. I am not intending to paint all filipinas as money grabbers, but there are many here just waiting their chance for a ticket out, and they don't care how they do it. If anyone says you shouldn't be cautious when considering the Asian girlfriend or bride, it would be bad counsil.

The I cafes are full of young girls chatting away to several foreign boy friends at one time. Once you live here you get the real picture. not that I can blame the girls, many who come from extreme poverty, move to the city, and see the other side.

The scammers are not the ones simply looking for a mate. The scammers are intent on extracting money from foreigners. I have seen it too many times to count living here.

There is at least one place here even in our small town that has employed girls round the clock chatting on line with the intent of getting money sent to them. the "employers" give them a small percentage. So they are being exploited themselves.

I am very happy to have a beutiful Filipina wife here, and I am equally happy for you guys who have "hit the jackpot". We are the fortunate ones.
But my wife will be the first to agree with me on this. The Philippines is not the UK, Philippine culture differs significantly from the UK. You may think you know people, but you have to be careful.

My one in ten is obviously an anectdotal observation, but it is probably a conservative estimate. But then it depends on what your willing to accept and looking for. Of course if you have an adequate disposable income, bring your wife back to the UK and don't mind trading Gucci bags for loyalty, that's entirely your bussiness. If your a pedophile or are looking for a simple slave, or father daughter relationship, then OK. You can find a simple girl and play pygmalion. but to find a woman to be a loving wife and equal partner is a little more difficult.

Your living in a dream world if you don't know how most Philippinos regard foreigners. It takes time to get to know the upstanding citizens here, they will hold you at arms length until you prove yourself. However once you gain the respect from the local community, you will have loyal friends for life. Its the ones that don't do that you need to be cautious of. You can criticize me if you like, but I'm only speaking from living here for some years now in a small town with a large expat community.

and a scam is a scam

From chats at work, down the boozer and at football, it sounds like me with a pinay wife get of easy to financial demands many western born and ladies from others areas of the world. Thats with the monthly send back to phill, phill foods and the trip back home counted in.

You could be scammed as you put it or lied to by the man or lady next door as much as the person 8 thousand miles away. So wherever and whoever you should be aware.

[Sim11UK]

The fact that someone is gulible or too stupid to see it coming does not diminish the fact that it is a scam. That is a non debateable issue. There are no degrees of scam. they are or are not.

You have about a 1 in 10 chance of getting a good Filipina girl, even less via chat or mail order brides. I do know one lucky guy on this forum who is a rare exception to the online approach.

I think you need to let the Filipinas on this forum, stand up & speak.
I appreciate, you are living there & seeing it, but 1 in 10 seems a little harsh.

[joebloggs]

I think you need to let the Filipinas on this forum, stand up & speak.
I appreciate, you are living there & seeing it, but 1 in 10 seems a little harsh.

but most of the filipina's on here, if not all are those 1 in 10 , and many will not say a bad word or join in a argument. (i've never had bad feed back from a filipina on here, even when i've deliberately poked fun at my wife , expecting a backlash for the ladies on here, its never happen thou , its taken me a while to get my misses to say whats on her mind

[baboyako]

I think that God has paid me back with the most beautiful girl in the world! I count myself SOOOOOO lucky!

Hey Alan. I cant believe you are comparing lol

seriously though. I think the kidney request was genuine, she was a family friend and I did tell her that paying for kidneys was not a moral thing to do. probably dead now and all my fault .


I did get scammed into buying a shower - I was fed up with a bucket of cold water over my head each morning , but she screwed that one up (no water tank), so the shower only works for a few hours each day when the water pressure is high enough . I'm sure it will be 10thou so sort that out, but she hasn't asked for it, and it will have to wait...