Am I being too sensitive and cautious now!?

[DaveUK]

Nearly a week ago now, I met a 34yo Filipino lady via the cherryblossoms.com website. Since we met, we have chatted online for more or less 10 hours. We've also spoken on the phone once for about half an hour. We seem to be getting on pretty well so far.

My new friend is aware that I've just come out of a "relationship" and that I was scammed.

From the start, I told my new friend that all I'm looking for right now is a friend and nothing more as I'm still getting over what has happened to me. She said that was ok and she understood.

The thing is, in the week that I've known this lady, we've gone from us not knowing each other, to her telling me "mahal kita" and that she's always thinking of me. As I don't want to hurt her, I've pointed out a couple of times we're just friends right now, which has ended up upsetting her anyway!

For me, the whole thing feels a bit full on, but not knowing a true caring Filipino lady, I don't know if this is "normal".

Can anyone help me please?

[mavid]

Just my humble opinion...one week of knowing each other is a bit too early for saying "mahal kita". I don't want to sound like I am being nasty...but sometimes it's just a strategy.

Just my opinion again...Peace!

Emy

[DaveUK]

Ok, I might have been a bit hasty in starting this thread for which I apologise!

In the last 10 minutes it has just become irrelevant as to whether I think this woman is genuine or scamming me!

I agreed to phone her at 3pm UK time today as I did yesterday. Just before 3pm, I got dragged into a meeting (I'm at work), so I text her to let her know I couldn't call and why! What followed was a short text conversation that I should only be expecting to have once I'd been married for at least 10 years!! Needless to say, I think I'll pass! :-)

[mavid]

Ok...I rest my case lol

[joebloggs]

What followed was a short text conversation that I should only be expecting to have once I'd been married for at least 10 years!! Needless to say, I think I'll pass! :-)

you told her to get your tea ready , or record the football match

[DaveUK]

you told her to get your tea ready , or record the football match

I wish it had been over something worthwhile like that! :-)

[winner]

hi dave just take it slow there lots out there best for you is chat to alot of tham dont just chat to one a lot will say i love you after afew chats a ture one will not say this what i did when i was looking for my soulmate was chat to lots of tham and you find a ture one in the end just say im here to win your heart and the ture ones wil be around if thay like you you will know on cam it thay not ture and phone tham out the blue good luck

[DaveUK]

Cheers for the advice. I am already talking to a few at the minute, she's just one that stood out so far in more ways than one. Unfortunately one of those ways scared me a little :-)

[Alan]

Dave,

Calm and mellow mate - calm and mellow. You seem like you are rushing to me. Believe the people on this site - they know what they are talking about. You will, one day, whether it be tomorrow or in six months, meet someone who is genuine and you can be sure of.
My advice to you at the mo. is - if in doubt - leave well alone.

Good luck buddy.

Al.

[DaveUK]

Cheers Alan. Appreciate what you're saying and I think you're right. I definitely need to drop it a gear or two! Things have been so manic since December, I think I've forgotten what it's like to take things at a slower pace!

[winner]

keep smiling your get there

[baboyako]

I know I'm going to upset a few people, , but would you really contemplate chasing a 34 year old woman in this country? they are more dangerous than a jihardist terrrorist all getting pressurised to get married, worried about starting a family thinking they're gods gift to men

If you're 28, stick to women under 30. They will be more easy going

[DaveUK]

Nah, nothing wrong with the more mature lady! :-) It can help gurantee a cooked breakfast in the morning if you play your cards right! ;-)

[ervenescence]

Nah, nothing wrong with the more mature lady! :-) It can help gurantee a cooked breakfast in the morning if you play your cards right! ;-)

Not all age over 30's are mature, I know a few and they still act like they are teenagers.


Anyway, as to what everybody said here.. take your time and be cautious.

How on earth some of the girls can just easily said " i love u" to a complete strangers? Just for fun? Desperate? perhaps.


Goodluck

[KeithD]

Place the red wire on the positive lead, and the blue wire to the negative lead. The timer should be set to zero (you wouldn't want the bomb to go off while building it ). Then you need...............Oh bugger.......sorry......thought this was the Muslim forum

[tomm]

Cheers for the advice. I am already talking to a few at the minute, she's just one that stood out so far in more ways than one. Unfortunately one of those ways scared me a little :-)

You're still cautious from your last encounter I guess. It's common for a filipina to go at 100 mph in a situation like this to get you all to herself. Doesn't mean she's going to scam you... she justs wants the competition out of the way.

[Mrs.JMajor]

Ok...I rest my case lol

should u rest your case too dave ..hehehe

peace !!

[aromulus]

You're still cautious from your last encounter I guess. It's common for a filipina to go at 100 mph in a situation like this to get you all to herself. wants the competition out of the way.

. Unfortunately one of those ways scared me a little :-)

Take it easy, slow down, it might look like that you are on the rebound.

Yes, some pinays are fast workers. If they set their sights on someone, everybody else is pushed aside.

Keep on chatting, but leave the endearmnts out of the conversation.

Or take a trip there, sit in a Mall coffee bar sipping your espresso, before you have finished your drink, a couple of ladies will have asked you if you are already married......

[DaveUK]

should u rest your case too dave ..hehehe

peace !!

Hah hah! Quite possibly! At least for a while anyway! :-)

[kimmi]

hi Dave,

I agree with our mates had said here, u'd better calm down and take it easy..

Words are easily said..

[DaveUK]

Hey, it's not me saying them! :-) I've learnt my lesson already! :-)

Besides, I had an online chat with her today as she got a bit upset last night because I wasn't replying to text messages I hadn't actually received! I explained to her (again) that I'm only looking for friends right now which she accepted (again), but didn't go down too well! She's warmed me she may not want to chat again, which given the last 24 hours is fine with me!

[kimmi]

are u sure its fine with u??dont tell me ur thinking about her now..

[DaveUK]

Hah hah! No! I feel a bit bad that she's reacted this way even though I was straight with her from the start about just being friends. But to be honest, after what I've just been through over the last couple of months, I just want a stress free time for now, so if she does choose not to contact me again, it would be for the best.

[kimmi]

then if u really want a stress free time for now why u chatted with her for nearly a week now for almost 10hours and also talking on the phone??oh just being a friend...lol

[DaveUK]

Yeah. Not my fault I can talk for England! :-) I blame my mother personally! :-)

[ginapeterb]

Well on reading this thread, it seems to me, that nothing ever changes when communicating in cyberworld, I see the same stories day in day out, finding a life time partner via internet is at best a miracle.

And yet people seem to do this every day of the week, they bounce from one straight into another, and we only place the attributes we are looking for on the person we cannot see, and have no idea what they are like, and when they don't come up to our expectation we are somehow disapointed, and feel we have had a bad experience.

I am always falling around the floor with laughter, when I hear what young Filipina's say about men in the Western world, for example, I overheard this conversation between 2 Filipina's when one had recently arrived in country to start her married life.

Filipina Number 1: well day, how is it going with your foreigner ?

Filipina Number 2: Yes not bad, however, he has changed since he was dating me in the Philippines, he is tight with money, and can you believe this, he only suggested I take a job to help with living expenses ?

Filipina Number 1: yes day, sometimes they do that, watch out though, because soon he will start uttotting in the house, and then later on, even burping too !

Filipina Number 2: oo day, he has just started uttotting, hmmmm well I did not think he would do that, plus he does not take me out anymore.

Filipina Number 1: well day mine is also like that, they change, and they are nothing like they seem after they bring you to UK, well when you marry and move here, thats when you find out what they are like di ba ?

This is common of a conversation between 2 Filipina's who met at Tesco's when shopping for groceries.


One has to imagine, that this is after 1 year of marriage and living in the country they went to, what were these women expecting ? 40,000 hours of talking on internet, and multiple trips to the Philippines would not have compensated from actually getting to know someone, the real life does not start until you are living together as a couple in a domestic environment, thats why I always say, meeting someone in cyber world is beset with problems, the deck is stacked against you from the start, but don't worry, with some adjustments on both sides, it can actually work.

[kimmi]

I guess I need to go to Tesco..what do u think Kuya Peter???he he he he

[DaveUK]

Well on reading this thread, it seems to me, that nothing ever changes when communicating in cyberworld, I see the same stories day in day out, finding a life time partner via internet is at best a miracle.

And yet people seem to do this every day of the week, they bounce from one straight into another, and we only place the attributes we are looking for on the person we cannot see, and have no idea what they are like, and when they don't come up to our expectation we are somehow disapointed, and feel we have had a bad experience.

I am always falling around the floor with laughter, when I hear what young Filipina's say about men in the Western world, for example, I overheard this conversation between 2 Filipina's when one had recently arrived in country to start her married life.

Filipina Number 1: well day, how is it going with your foreigner ?

Filipina Number 2: Yes not bad, however, he has changed since he was dating me in the Philippines, he is tight with money, and can you believe this, he only suggested I take a job to help with living expenses ?

Filipina Number 1: yes day, sometimes they do that, watch out though, because soon he will start uttotting in the house, and then later on, even burping too !

Filipina Number 2: oo day, he has just started uttotting, hmmmm well I did not think he would do that, plus he does not take me out anymore.

Filipina Number 1: well day mine is also like that, they change, and they are nothing like they seem after they bring you to UK, well when you marry and move here, thats when you find out what they are like di ba ?

This is common of a conversation between 2 Filipina's who met at Tesco's when shopping for groceries.


One has to imagine, that this is after 1 year of marriage and living in the country they went to, what were these women expecting ? 40,000 hours of talking on internet, and multiple trips to the Philippines would not have compensated from actually getting to know someone, the real life does not start until you are living together as a couple in a domestic environment, thats why I always say, meeting someone in cyber world is beset with problems, the deck is stacked against you from the start, but don't worry, with some adjustments on both sides, it can actually work.

Cheers fella. Appreciate what you're saying. I'm definitely learning all the time here :-)

[Mrs Daddy]

just take your time dave and be more cautious most of the people here are more experience than you are.thats why they are happily married to a lovely filipina`s.

[rabb5it]

Please slow down Dave. Why not take up flower aranging for the next few days to keep your mind occupied.

From first contact in the inet with a potential mate, to sussing them out, meeting them, living with them for a while & seeing if you are compatible in all aspects takes years.