I'm Starting To Feel Like An ATM

[Troubadour]

Most of my fiance's family are fine. I send money regularly to help out with things, and all is generally OK....

But....

She has this one sister....

If I send 100 it is coz I have 200 to send.

If I buy a Jeep to transport pigs, it is coz I could afford a pig farm.

When she worked in Taiwan, her boyfriend sister has such a nice husband that he send 30,000 pesok a month to his wife's mother.

She cannot finish her Catering course at college coz she have to go back to Taiwan and earn money for her family, isn't that sad and tragic - If only her sister had a decent boyfriend that would pay for her father, you know, like my boyfriend's sister's husband pays 30,000 pesok a month to his wife's mother - But she not have a decent boyfriend, she only have me.

By the way - Ate, can I borrow for the latest Nokia and a pair of Guess Jeans, my boyfriend's siter's husband would lend to his wife's sister.

[WaiGuoRen]

I need advice! That girl, S, in Cebu is now claiming that she is pregnant. This is certainly a possibility as we weren't very careful at times.

She used some sort of pregnancy test from a pharmacy. Her period ended last month around March 1 this month. Is it possible that she could know this this soon? Ladies?

It could be a scam, but what can I do? While in Cebu I had an HIV test (negative, of course). I got on well with the doctor, a woman. I thought of contacting this doctor, having S see her, and having S get a pregnancy test at that same hospital.

Any advice? Ideas?

[Pepe n Pilar]

The women's mentrual cycle is every 21 days. There are some who have the next about 5 days earlier, for some it is delayed for 5-7 days. Today is the 20th and it is too early to say she is pregnant. ARe you in doubt?

[ginapeterb]

I need advice! That girl, S, in Cebu is now claiming that she is pregnant. This is certainly a possibility as we weren't very careful at times.

She used some sort of pregnancy test from a pharmacy. Her period ended last month around March 1 this month. Is it possible that she could know this this soon? Ladies?

It could be a scam, but what can I do? While in Cebu I had an HIV test (negative, of course). I got on well with the doctor, a woman. I thought of contacting this doctor, having S see her, and having S get a pregnancy test at that same hospital.

Any advice? Ideas?

Whats your problem Pal ? why are you getting worried about this girl you told us is a complete scammer, its not your problem, and even if my some stroke of miracle she is buntis, what can you do about it ?

As isme_iye has told you, its too early anyway, she is most probably using an emotional tool to get you to feel a sense of obligation to her, if I had dollar everytime I heard this scam geeeeeeeeze when you see a bump on her belly, (tell her to send a pic) and then have her paternity tested at a later date, you will then find out if and when she has a bump, whether its yours or not.

Until that time, forget about it, and by the way, there is no Child Support Agency in the Philippines, if thats what you are worried about.

Just make sure when she sends you a photo, that she has not stuffed a pillow up her blouse cos thats common as well.

Why do you feel the need to contact the Doctor, that will cost you money, let her go to the Doctor, its her body not yours, are you in a stable loving and subsisting relationship with this woman, if so, that I could understand, but if your'e not, and youre not staying with this woman, then she decided to have horizontal olympics with you, she takes the fall as well.

Anyway you have no idea whether she is monogamous or not, how do you know who she has been with, she could have a Filipino boyfriend as well, and don't think these girls don't have one, thats common as well.

Don't do anything impetuous at the moment, think before you do or say anything, take time to calm down and breathe, and let time take its majestic course.

Best of LUck

[joebloggs]

now why would she go for a preggie test so soon

i thought it was 28 days for most ladies, also the most fertile time is day 12 to day 16 after her last period, so using that you could have a good guess if she could be preggy.

[walesrob]

I agree with Pete, this looks like a scam.

[kimmi]

Menstrual cycle of a woman takes 28 to 35 days and it also depends if she had a regular or irregular cycle..Its too early for her to tell that she might be pregnant Waiguren..

and I think Kuya Peter has said it all already..

[Juana]

HI wai..! Women have different cycles. Those who are considered "regular" could have 21-days and some has 28-day cycle or even a bit longer. "Irregular" are just not predictable.
As you said that she ended her last period on march 1, as what everybody said...it is really too soon to tell.
If still in doubt, ask her to go to a laboratory to have her urine or blood taken for pregnancy test. For urine testing, most labs in the phils. would just do a normal pregnancy kit as what u get from the pharmacy. Testing in blood for beta-hcg (hormone that is produced in pregnancy) may be more accurate.
B-hcg normally is detectable (when pregnant) 3 wks from last menstruation then the concentration goes higher as the pregnancy progresses.
It is by the way the same hormone as what u detect in urine. She could have done it wrong or the kit could have been faulty.
If she still doesn't have her periods within next 2 weeks, then i suggest to go for any of these tests then ask for a copy of results after.

You do seem a nice guy who is being taken advantage by a professional scammer! Don't be a fool! Tell her to off!!!

[WaiGuoRen]

Thanks, JMR. Sounds as if you know what you're talking about. According to Wikipedia, a home urine test can possibly detect pregnancy 12 to 15 days after fertilization:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy

Then her claim could be sincere. But it's still too early to say. I'll call her later today, tell her to wait and see if her period arrives.

A valid question might be why she'd bothered to do a test before waiting a bit for menstruation. She claims she had an inkling about it, and that her complexion has gone bad with pimples--a sign she says. Yes, it could well be a scam, but the fact is I cannot know for sure.

To answer the question why I have even bothered when there are so many other more virtuous ones out there, I can only say, for bad or for worse, this person is in my life right now and I care about her. Call me a sap. And yeah, if she is pregnant, I certainly had an appendage in it. Call me responsible too.

As some might remember, I live in Hong Kong, which is a short flight away from Cebu. I have a three day weekend in early April. I'll try to get down there and see to this business first hand.

[andypaul]

No one is having a pop at you but if the ladies think its a bit fishy its always worth investigating and keeping an open mind.

What ever happens i wish you good fortune as you seem to want to do the right thing which shows you in a very good light

[KeithD]

Did you know, that women are the only mammals who can bleed for days and not die?

[Alan]

Did you know, that women are the only mammals who can bleed for days and not die?

What about successive Governments Keith? They've been bleeding us for years!

Al.

[ginapeterb]

this person is in my life right now

One day my good mate Scott who lives in Davao City and I were talking outside his place, and the conversation kind of went like this.

"Scott have you seen this British guy and this Filipina posing on the net in Davao Del Sur ?"

"Nope mate, I have not where was it ?

"Is was on Mindanao Bob's website"

Pete: Well who is he anyway ?

Scott: Probably the latest sucker !


Bring on the latest sucker !

[andypaul]

Whats your problem Pal ? why are you getting worried about this girl you told us is a complete scammer, its not your problem, and even if my some stroke of miracle she is buntis, what can you do about it ?

As isme_iye has told you, its too early anyway, she is most probably using an emotional tool to get you to feel a sense of obligation to her, if I had dollar everytime I heard this scam geeeeeeeeze when you see a bump on her belly, (tell her to send a pic) and then have her paternity tested at a later date, you will then find out if and when she has a bump, whether its yours or not.

Until that time, forget about it, and by the way, there is no Child Support Agency in the Philippines, if thats what you are worried about.

Just make sure when she sends you a photo, that she has not stuffed a pillow up her blouse cos thats common as well.

Why do you feel the need to contact the Doctor, that will cost you money, let her go to the Doctor, its her body not yours, are you in a stable loving and subsisting relationship with this woman, if so, that I could understand, but if your'e not, and youre not staying with this woman, then she decided to have horizontal olympics with you, she takes the fall as well.

Anyway you have no idea whether she is monogamous or not, how do you know who she has been with, she could have a Filipino boyfriend as well, and don't think these girls don't have one, thats common as well.

Don't do anything impetuous at the moment, think before you do or say anything, take time to calm down and breathe, and let time take its majestic course.

Best of LUck

Maybe worth offering to send a doctor/nurse friend of yours you know either from the UK or Phill to check she is ok.

If this had happened to my Wife or a friend of mine they would have been like thank you as it would save costs (well actually most likely not as they were all trainee nurses and half the family are in the medical profession) but i think you get my point.

Might be worth seeing how she reacts to that? If she is kidding around any trained medical person will pick up on it straight off.

Even just the suggestion may change the story slighty if a little bit of fiction is being used.

[KeithD]

Tell her you're pregnant, the marvel of Western science

[andypaul]

Tell her you're pregnant, the marvel of Western science

Yeah that the CSA are now chasing her

[scott&ligaya]

Hi there,
boy she has got you reeled in, you need to be completely cold about this. As suggested insist that she sees a doctor of your choice with no affiliations, if she does turn out to be pregnant insist on paternity tests, have nothing to do with supporting her through the pregnancy, read the Dave Scott posting here, hell the brother/lover whatever could be her husband!!! so check that out as well. IF after birth she can PROVE the child is yours then you can THINK about your responsibilities and ONLY then decide to see her and the baby and DECIDE if you want to support your child. I would advise strongly NOT to go and see her as she you know she will wrap you round her little finger and you will believe anything she says as you probably want to hear that anyway. PLEASE have a serious think about what you intend to do.

[scott&ligaya]

Sorry for posting again, but this is really made me mad,

I have seen this happen to at least three aquaintances over the last five or six years in Hong Kong and only one girl was actually pregnant and when asked to prove paternity she bottled out after bleeding him through the pregnancy. You know you were being scammed so at least bear that in mind and take the advice of people here. Get over your "feelings" for her as they were built up on the back of deceit.

[WaiGuoRen]

I meant to report the outcome of this pregnancy business, but got busy with work and forgot about it.

A few days after my last posting I called and told her that she couldn't possibly know that she was pregnant so early, and let her know in a face-saving way, that I wasn't falling for anything. She simply let it drop and hasn't mentioned it since.

So I still speak to her regularly, but I'll write nothing else about this relationship for a time.

Thanks for everyone's advice.

[scott&ligaya]

Ok, it is your life but if she throws any more curve balls I suggest you take a walk, I hope she has seen the error of trying to fleece you, actually cares somewhat for you and the relationship can go somewhere. But in the meantime why don,t you get around World Wide House in Des Voeux Rd, have a coffee in delifrance there or just take a walk around Central/Chater or Victoria park and you will have a very good chance of meeting a genuine lady who would love the opportunity to be with a caring and genuine guy. Take it easy

[WaiGuoRen]

Yeah, I'll keep things open, or try to anyway. I'm convinced of one thing though: it has to be a Filipina! I guess that's why most of us are here.

[Ady]

I'm sorry about your story Wai. I think we have all gone through the feeling of - is she just with me because I am a rich Westerner?

I think in some cases it is true - you see young attractive girls with, dare I say, older Westerners. Some people will tell you that that is the Filipina culture - that girls prefer the older man. What? All of them? I think not. For example, the many Fil-Fil relationships I have seen are of a couple of a similar age. And, I read on one site that Filipinas don't mind that their husband to be is overweight - because that is a sign of wealth. Again a sweeping generalisation that the vast majority of a nation's women all think the same way!

My gf's sister was, a few years ago, introduced to an Australian guy of 60 years. She had no interest in going with an older man - she herself was 25. She wanted a similar aged guy to spend her life with. The Australian guy eventually found himself a girl - aged 27. The girl was attractive, sexy and literally had a choice of man at her disposal. She said that the Australian guy could give her a good home and comfortable lifestyle. She wasn't interested in his life story, didn't have anything in common with him, didn't even find him attractive. But, she went with him because he could give her a change in lifestyle. Of course, Western women do this sort of thing too. It isn't confined to just Filipinas. The Australian guy believed the woman loved him, and probably still does. So, how many relationships are like that in the world? And how many from contributors to this site? Heck, it could even be me!

What amuses me, though, is that people are attracted to Filipinas only. Don't get me wrong, there are many beautiful women there - but there are in Spain too, and the UK, and France. But I read stories here - of guys badly hurt by Filipinas. And, guess what, they start trawling the web in search of another Filipina. I just don't get it.

When I met my gf, I knew that the Philippines was in Asia, and the capital City was Manila. I didn't know that their main religion was Catholicism. I knew about the Marcos's. And I knew that Magellan met his end there. Now, if things were not to work out with me and my girlfriend, then the chances of me having another girlfriend from the Philippines are remote. I read advice here that "don't worry, there are plenty of good Filipinas around" - and I just don't get it. I also hear people here telling you to avoid Filipinas based in the UK. Why? If you like Filipinas, and some are in the UK, then why pick someone half a world away?

Believe me, being wealthy in comparison to Filipinos does sway Filipina women towards Western guys. But - that is the same in EVERY culture. If I win the lottery tonight, I will suddenly appear even more attractive to women from my town.

So why do people like Filipinas only? I read that it is because Filipinas make good wives, are loyal, loving. Again, does that mean EVERY Filipina? We rightly get annoyed when people generalise against Filipinas ("oh, she is only with him to get a visa"). So why do we generalise FOR Filipinas? It is a country of 83m people, half of which are women. It would be wrong and remiss of us to say that the majority of those 41m women are spammers/scammers in the same way that it would be wrong to say that the majority of them will be very good wives.

Judge each person by their traits, and don't pigeon hole them as a nation. And, if you're free and single, caste the net wider. Maybe the perfect woman from you comes from another location.

[fred]

Adi.
Good post.
Agree with every word.

[andypaul]

I'm sorry about your story Wai. I think we have all gone through the feeling of - is she just with me because I am a rich Westerner?

I think in some cases it is true - you see young attractive girls with, dare I say, older Westerners. Some people will tell you that that is the Filipina culture - that girls prefer the older man. What? All of them? I think not. For example, the many Fil-Fil relationships I have seen are of a couple of a similar age. And, I read on one site that Filipinas don't mind that their husband to be is overweight - because that is a sign of wealth. Again a sweeping generalisation that the vast majority of a nation's women all think the same way!

My gf's sister was, a few years ago, introduced to an Australian guy of 60 years. She had no interest in going with an older man - she herself was 25. She wanted a similar aged guy to spend her life with. The Australian guy eventually found himself a girl - aged 27. The girl was attractive, sexy and literally had a choice of man at her disposal. She said that the Australian guy could give her a good home and comfortable lifestyle. She wasn't interested in his life story, didn't have anything in common with him, didn't even find him attractive. But, she went with him because he could give her a change in lifestyle. Of course, Western women do this sort of thing too. It isn't confined to just Filipinas. The Australian guy believed the woman loved him, and probably still does. So, how many relationships are like that in the world? And how many from contributors to this site? Heck, it could even be me!

What amuses me, though, is that people are attracted to Filipinas only. Don't get me wrong, there are many beautiful women there - but there are in Spain too, and the UK, and France. But I read stories here - of guys badly hurt by Filipinas. And, guess what, they start trawling the web in search of another Filipina. I just don't get it.

When I met my gf, I knew that the Philippines was in Asia, and the capital City was Manila. I didn't know that their main religion was Catholicism. I knew about the Marcos's. And I knew that Magellan met his end there. Now, if things were not to work out with me and my girlfriend, then the chances of me having another girlfriend from the Philippines are remote. I read advice here that "don't worry, there are plenty of good Filipinas around" - and I just don't get it. I also hear people here telling you to avoid Filipinas based in the UK. Why? If you like Filipinas, and some are in the UK, then why pick someone half a world away?

Believe me, being wealthy in comparison to Filipinos does sway Filipina women towards Western guys. But - that is the same in EVERY culture. If I win the lottery tonight, I will suddenly appear even more attractive to women from my town.

So why do people like Filipinas only? I read that it is because Filipinas make good wives, are loyal, loving. Again, does that mean EVERY Filipina? We rightly get annoyed when people generalise against Filipinas ("oh, she is only with him to get a visa"). So why do we generalise FOR Filipinas? It is a country of 83m people, half of which are women. It would be wrong and remiss of us to say that the majority of those 41m women are spammers/scammers in the same way that it would be wrong to say that the majority of them will be very good wives.

Judge each person by their traits, and don't pigeon hole them as a nation. And, if you're free and single, caste the net wider. Maybe the perfect woman from you comes from another location.

A great post like you i didn't have a scooby about phill and knew the same things as you. Only out of respect of the missus did i learn about the culture. If for some reason my Wife and I had not met or got married i doubt i would have met any other fillipina apart from in there role as a person woking in a job in the uk etc.

But i have to say many people are attracted to a type of women or man blondes, brunettes so nothing wrong in that i guess.

[Ady]

I don't think there is anything wrong with being attracted to a certain look. I just think that people are in danger sometimes of generalising. I work with many Indian guys, people always say that Indians are polite, and humble.

Well - that is true in a majority of cases - but they are no more polite and humble than many Brits I work with. And, some of these Indian guys have been right nasty cases.

As much as it is bad to call Filipinas gold-diggers (and there are, undoubtedly, a few) it is equally bad to generalise that they "make great wives" - as I have read in other sites. God, how condescending. Volkswagen make good cars. People with the right qualities make great wives/husbands/mothers/fathers.

If people start out with an opinion of Filipinas as a race, they are likely to either end up disappointed, or end up realising that the opinions forged before the relationship even started are completely wrong in the first instance.

Example, my last girlfriend was great. She was blonde, from Somerset, and was a great cook. But we parted. Do I go back to Somerset to meet a great blonde cook?

The other thing that I didn't quite get here was - people advise you not to meet Filipinas already resident in the UK. Why is that?

[vinmer]

Good post Ady. I agree.

[Peanutz]

Very good post...
Fair enough...

[KeithD]

Very good post...
Fair enough...

Where have you been oh sweet pea?

[Peanutz]

You know the song?
Oh, silly question...of course you know )

[kimmi]

I'm sorry about your story Wai. I think we have all gone through the feeling of - is she just with me because I am a rich Westerner?

I think in some cases it is true - you see young attractive girls with, dare I say, older Westerners. Some people will tell you that that is the Filipina culture - that girls prefer the older man. What? All of them? I think not. For example, the many Fil-Fil relationships I have seen are of a couple of a similar age. And, I read on one site that Filipinas don't mind that their husband to be is overweight - because that is a sign of wealth. Again a sweeping generalisation that the vast majority of a nation's women all think the same way!

My gf's sister was, a few years ago, introduced to an Australian guy of 60 years. She had no interest in going with an older man - she herself was 25. She wanted a similar aged guy to spend her life with. The Australian guy eventually found himself a girl - aged 27. The girl was attractive, sexy and literally had a choice of man at her disposal. She said that the Australian guy could give her a good home and comfortable lifestyle. She wasn't interested in his life story, didn't have anything in common with him, didn't even find him attractive. But, she went with him because he could give her a change in lifestyle. Of course, Western women do this sort of thing too. It isn't confined to just Filipinas. The Australian guy believed the woman loved him, and probably still does. So, how many relationships are like that in the world? And how many from contributors to this site? Heck, it could even be me!

What amuses me, though, is that people are attracted to Filipinas only. Don't get me wrong, there are many beautiful women there - but there are in Spain too, and the UK, and France. But I read stories here - of guys badly hurt by Filipinas. And, guess what, they start trawling the web in search of another Filipina. I just don't get it.

When I met my gf, I knew that the Philippines was in Asia, and the capital City was Manila. I didn't know that their main religion was Catholicism. I knew about the Marcos's. And I knew that Magellan met his end there. Now, if things were not to work out with me and my girlfriend, then the chances of me having another girlfriend from the Philippines are remote. I read advice here that "don't worry, there are plenty of good Filipinas around" - and I just don't get it. I also hear people here telling you to avoid Filipinas based in the UK. Why? If you like Filipinas, and some are in the UK, then why pick someone half a world away?

Believe me, being wealthy in comparison to Filipinos does sway Filipina women towards Western guys. But - that is the same in EVERY culture. If I win the lottery tonight, I will suddenly appear even more attractive to women from my town.

So why do people like Filipinas only? I read that it is because Filipinas make good wives, are loyal, loving. Again, does that mean EVERY Filipina? We rightly get annoyed when people generalise against Filipinas ("oh, she is only with him to get a visa"). So why do we generalise FOR Filipinas? It is a country of 83m people, half of which are women. It would be wrong and remiss of us to say that the majority of those 41m women are spammers/scammers in the same way that it would be wrong to say that the majority of them will be very good wives.

Judge each person by their traits, and don't pigeon hole them as a nation. And, if you're free and single, caste the net wider. Maybe the perfect woman from you comes from another location.

Very well said, Ady..but I dont understand why do some people told u not to meet Filipinas who are already a resident here in the UK?