I am advising men to be cautious in Philippines

[ginapeterb]

Andy is right, he will not like Ady arriving in country, forget going into the next town, local news as Andy says, will be i-chikka mo lang...in seconds.

[Ady]

Hi guys.

You have to understand how nervewracking it is to go to Davao in the first instance. I met her in person in Hong Kong, and our plan was to get annulled and then meet in Davao.

I mentioned here before a story about her husband naming her on a birth certificate of a child born during our time in Hong Kong. She is still awaiting the court case - and it held us up in the annulment process because her attourney suggested we close this case first. But we have decided to go against that advice now, because time is being wasted.

So, I guess people can do anything there. What I am reading now is scaring the life out of me, to be honest. I have lots of worries at home with my family, and I really love this girl - despite all the baggage that she brings.

The toughest thing for me to do is go back on a promise. She is so excited I will be there on Wednesday. If I change my mind at this late stage, maybe that is the end of our relationship. It is breaking my heart now. I didn't think things will be bad like this. It pisses me off that this guy can sleep with many women, and leave his wife to struggle to bring up their child. I love her daughter like my own, and we connected so well in Hong Kong too.

I feel physically sick to think it is possible I will let them down. And it is my own fault - I have known about her marriage from the start. And the laws of her land from the start. She told her husband about us, when she mentioned she will seek an annulment. And he wished her good luck. But, that is what she tells me. You have no idea the sleepless nights I have had trying to convince my parents it was safe enough in Davao. And now, I can't even convince myself. Although there is a good chance that nothing will happen - I can't guarantee that.

If I didn't go now, I know my gf. It will break her heart. How could I do that? She has it broken too many times already.

[Ady]

I will cancel it I think. I mean... just not go.

[baboyako]

Ady, my girl is from Davao. I have been to Davao 5 times all in, over the past 3 years.
Let me tell you that Davao is not the place to go to spend time with the wife of a police officer - estranged, separated, missing or otherwise. In fact that goes for the whole of mindanao, for samal it probably counts double.

What I suggest you do, (to reduce the risk to yourself) would be to book yourself into somewhere like bohol (i.e. far from the heat), then tell her to catch a plane, then meet her at the airport. I wouldn't even tell her the hotel name, just pick her up and spend some time where you can be sure you will not be found.

If your having sleepless nights now, you will be sh1tting the bed every night staying at her place in Davao.

You know yourself it's wrong to go there, so don't try and talk yourself into doing it. Sure she will be upset that you didn't go to her hometime - she will understand - restful sleep assured

[baboyako]

I will cancel it I think. I mean... just not go.

sleep on it eh

[ginapeterb]

Ady,

I think you have to keep your promise and visit your girl...

Don't cancel the trip now, as she is expecting you, if you don't go, you are right it will dissapoint her, big time, my suggestion is similar to Baboyako, I would go to Davao, but keep your contact formal.

If you wish to have a physical relationship with her, don't do it in Davao, try and take her away from the area, can I suggest you take her to Boracay for a few days, or like Baboyako says, take her to Bohol, Boracay is probably better, or Puerto Galera, just get her out of DAVAO, you see she tells you he wishes her good luck, hmmmmmm if I had a dollar for every time I had heard that one.

Bobayako is correct, if you are having sleepless nights about it now, you will be looking over your shoulder all the time in Davao City, secondly, every time there is a nock at the door, you will be worried.

You can either let her meet you In Manila, which is really what you should have arranged, I did that with Miss Gina when we first met back in 2003, she flew from the provinces to Manila, and we had a great time staying at Intercontinental in Manila, you should have done same.

If its too late for that, then make tracks out of Davao the first chance you get, that will be the best advice.

He might wish her luck, but if you show up, you could end up in a hell hole cell just for the fun of it, so my friend, keep your appointment with her, but get her out of that area, asap.

Take care Ady.

Best of Luck mate.

We are old rooting for you.

[Ady]

Thanks a lot guys. I spoke with my gf last night - I am mistaken in his job - he is a prison guard in Panabo, Davao Del Sur. I spoke with her brother too - and he confirmed that, and that her husband will not intervene in her life.

I think it is a case of treading carefully, keeping a low profile, and maybe taking a trip elsewhere in the Phils.

*edited place of his work

[ginapeterb]

Ady

I don't wish to have a pop at you, but how is it you could have got the husband's occupation so wrong, you told us all he was a Police Officer, now you tell us, actually you were not sure ?

He turns out to be a Prison guard, we all gave you advice, including my wife standing over my shoulder, thinking he was a Police officer.

The advice we gave may have sounded alarmist, but we had good reason for giving it, now I kind of feel I went over the top, because you told us he is a Police officer.

Please mate, and this is for you and many others who post on here, it would be better to have your facts right before you post for advice and general commentary.

I for one do not like to give strong advice to people based on incorrect factual situations, it kind of winds me up if you can understand that.

I doubt whether you will have any trouble if he is a Prison guard, and if he is so far away working in Davao del Sur the only thing you should watch out for is jealous cousins, who see you with the lady, they will be your worst problems, if someone is jealous of the attention you are giving the lady.

Often jealous cousins or friends are the very ones who shop you to the wrong people.

[KeithD]

Prison officer's in the UK have similar powers to the police, so it is probably the same over there.....except we don't make our inmates dance......againt human rights

Do what Pete says, don't worry, plenty on here been through the same thing, just take her on an island tour. Abu Saif will put you up for free

.....and don't get the ferry unless you're a good swimmer

[fred]

Just meet her well away from Davao..rent an apartment in Luzon perhaps?
Problem solved for your trip this year!!
Don`t be too paranoid..Just be a bit careful.

[Ady]

Hi Pete,

I apologise for getting the occupation wrong. It was a misunderstanding on my part - and one that I talked about with my gf last night.

Basically, shortly after we first met my gf told me that her husband was a cop - or BJMP. Today - she says they see them as the same thing over there. I clarified his job today - because on the responses above - and she explained he was a jail guard in Panabo. BJMP is a jail guard. I should have researched it, but I assumed MP stood for Military Police.

I understand fully where you are coming from - and I have no issues with any advice given based on my factual shortcomings.

In essence the advice you gave me still holds true - I will take more care based on what you have said, and I am grateful for your time and efforts.

Win2Win, Abu Sayyaf offer ensuite and catering right?

Thanks always

Ady

Really a big sorry for any upsets caused.

[scott&ligaya]

Hi Ady,
after all is said and done, just be careful, enjoy your time with your lady and perhaps think about the suggestions others have made for an accompanied chaperoned trip away if her family and her prefer or just the two of you. You have precious little time together without the family distractions. have a safe trip and good luck with your relationship.