I am advising men to be cautious in Philippines

[ginapeterb]

I think after the David Scott case, I am now advising men who visit my website to be cautious about relationships with married women in the Philippines, since in this case, the law appears to be used when money is the object of the petition.

I think also, guys need to be warned about the possible consequences of entering into relationships with girls who are currently married, and whilst many will have got into relationships with such ones without incident, the David Scott story just goes to show that its not impossible to find yourself on the wrong side of the law in the Philippines.

[ervenescence]

Yeah I second to that Peter.

Men be careful before committing yourself to a filipina. Know them well and take things slowly, so that spending in an infested rat jail in Philippines should be avoided.

I feel sorry for David Scott.

[KeithD]

With so many singles to pick from, guys always seem to go for those that are harder to get

[andypaul]

On one of the yankie sites i can remeber some of the chaps taling about makes checks locally to be certain.
Maybe a bit extreme but it definetly is worth asking in as many ways as you can about the Girlfriends family etc.

I can remeber my Wife being worried to say she had a younger Brother and sister, why i will never quite work out.
She said i might not be so happy if i knew she had two siblings and its not like they cost us much in time or money.
For a while i was worried that they were possibly her kids but for a 24 year old to have a 18 year old daughter and a 14 year son would take some doing!!

[chino]

yep....... i can understand why after what has happened...

[andypaul]

yep....... i can understand why after what has happened...

Well we have heard about this case but how many others have happened to either a lesser or the same degree.

Some will be just a case of Black mail and the bloke has found the cash or bought the lot etc. Others may have gone further and we simply didn't here about them for one reason or another as most times a bribe solved the issue at one level or another.

After hearing and seeing some lovely examples of police work yesterday in the borough of Brent yesterday with fans having tickets taken off them and alledgely people sitting in the seats come kick off.

It seems police work does pay all round the world.

[scott&ligaya]

For the very reason of not wanting this kind of problem my partner went through the long and tortorous unullment process having been forced into marriage at 16 (stayed way from home overnight in same building as the guy) then after being beaten by a drunken husband several times she faked her passport to be 19 years old and fled to work in Singapore. When we met in Hong Kong some 8 years later she had not had any reason to sort this out and then started the process. It took a while and when the local PNP inspector hear about the beatings he asked if wanted the problem to go away permanently!!!! he was at school with Ligaya and I think has a crush on her still. It would have been a lot cheaper but we declined his kind offer. Since then we have also taken care of the passport issue although that too was frought with challenges least of which was HK immigration asKing her to leave as an OFW but then allowing her back in as my dependant after a 5000HKD fine and strong letter (they could have jailed her for six mths and then deported her) but recognised that we came forward volunterily even when we knew we would be leaving and they would have never known. We did not want to continue her false documents into the UK.

I would advise any man who is in a relationship with a married filipina or if you are not sure of her status to get in touch with the NSO in Manila as they will hold a record of the marriage.

[love8888]

With so many singles to pick from, guys always seem to go for those that are harder to get

Love is blind........

There are so many single filipina as well married with married man or vice versa like British or American or any other culture but they don't find it hard as divorce is allowed and accepted unlike in the Philippines is not.And if they found out your a foreigner the more the people involved in that case will demand lots of money.



.... and sometimes can be stupid

There's nothing wrong to be in love with a married woman nor a married man as long as they are legally separated or annuled but if you can at least avoid ... please avoid it so in the near future you won't get this type of problem.


Anybody can get a singleness certificate through this website they will send to you wherever you are just follow all the instructions.
https://www.ecensus.com.ph/Secure/frmIndex.asp

[IanB]

"With so many singles to pick from, guys always seem to go for those that are harder to get " Blimey, Keith, you make it sound like a trip to the sweetshop!

Ian

[KeithD]

"With so many singles to pick from, guys always seem to go for those that are harder to get " Blimey, Keith, you make it sound like a trip to the sweetshop!

Ian

It is....but A LOT more expensive

[ginapeterb]

I can never understand all these guys who contact me through my website for help with anulments ?

They tell me the most amazing stories about how they met a married Filipina, who needs to get an anulment.

The anulments always seem to be needed the minute they meet a foreigner, some of them have been separated for years, if an anulment was so important, why was it not done previously.

Keith always says, And I have to back this, that there are so many single Filipinas around, that why would they want to get into this area, don't they know its generally a no go area, and yet still they do it.

When will they learn.


Married Filipina's are married, move on, get a nice young lady, not someone else's ex wife.

[aromulus]

I can never understand all these guys who contact me through my website for help with anulments ?

They tell me the most amazing stories about how they met a married Filipina, who needs to get an anulment.

The anulments always seem to be needed the minute they meet a foreigner, some of them have been separated for years, if an anulment was so important, why was it not done previously.

Keith always says, And I have to back this, that there are so many single Filipinas around, that why would they want to get into this area, don't they know its generally a no go area, and yet still they do it.

When will they learn.


Married Filipina's are married, move on, get a nice young lady, not someone else's ex wife.

I 100% agree on this.

One of the problem is that some people are attracted by what they can't have or find difficulty in obtaining....
A masochist streak in the genetic make-up....?

[Mrs.JMajor]

Or rather to those Filipina who wishes to marry a foreigner why cant you do your annulment early so when the time comes that you meet the mr right at least you didn't put him on trouble (oh yeah lack of finance cause annulment fee are expensive,so some of them normally men are the one who pays the annulment fee)
cant blame people especially brit men likes to marry a separated Filipino brrrr "love is blind "

[scott&ligaya]

I think there can be many cases like ours where separation is almost immediate and the marriages never really existed or where in several cases I personally know of, along comes the baby and off goes the husband with some other girl leaving the mum to leave baby with her folks and ship herself to HK/SG/Saudi to support her child. I have actively tried to put couples together having got to know through my wife several very dedicated mums who are in the position of still being married in the Phils years afterwards. In ALL three cases these couples are now married in Hong Kong or in the USA and had gone through the anullment process. Why should hard working beautiful deserted mums be left partnerless when they have so much to offer.

Again I would still urge caution and take time to understand and verify if possible your girlfriends claims.

[scott&ligaya]

If you have been in church with 400 Filipina domestic helpers in Hong Kong, (there are over 100,000 of them) you would see what I am talking about when you read the prayer requests these women present to the pastors. I agree that if you are searching for a Filipina over the internet then you could at least try to only meet single ladies, however love is not cognisant of marital status and whilst I do not condone splitting up existing relationships surely a deserted woman desrves a chance for love.

[Ady]

I didn't go on the net searching for a Filipina, or even a girlfriend. But I ended up meeting someone that means a lot to me. She happens to be Filipina, and she happens to be separated (4-5 years) - in a country where divorce is not allowed.

It is only recently that annulment has come to the fore in our relationship - because we took time to learn about each other, and to make the best decisions to our future. And we all know how long annulments can take.

I am planning on going to see her next week - in Davao that carries it's own risks. Reading about David Scott makes me worried, should I just cancel the trip? If I cancel, I am sure our relationship will take many months to fix - if it is ever fixed. If I don't, then maybe I will be subject to extortion.

I have met her once in HK, and she wants me to go to her place.

I am not attracted to Filipinas as such, nor married women. It is not an act of being Mr Macho - or getting something that is out of reach. I have just happened to fall for a girl who is a married Filipina. Why? Because of who she is, how we related, the tough times in my life when she is there for me. I know her family, and talk to them a lot - especially her brother who works here. She talks to my family too.

I am not attracted to her because it is dificult to obtain her. I am attracted to her because of all the hours she spends talking to me, the fun and laughter and love in our relationship.

There are many single women around, not just Filipinas, but anywhere. But none of them is my girl - the girl I love. I believe I know her well. We have been in contact for three years, and more emotionally involved in the last 18 months.

In short, I think there is only one woman for me. And I love her, warts and all.

But this story scares the life out of me. Rock and a hard place around me right now, and all the flights have been booked and leave on Tuesday. It is something we (me and her) spoke about before, and she says that her ex-husband is living quite far from her (maybe 2 hours by car). And she told me they separated on good terms after he went with another woman 3-4 times. I trust her, and I find it hard to trust anyone. Of course, the pound signs may light up his eyes if he knows I am from the UK (albeit a pretty skint Brit). I read that, for a filipino married guy to be convicted of adultery - he would have to be caught in the act by a few witnesses. But for a woman? Just a suspicion will do. I don't mean to criticise another country, but why should people like my girlfriend spend a life alone because they (quite rightly) don't accept their husbands sleeping around.

"Married Filipina's are married, move on, get a nice young lady, not someone else's ex wife." Does that count for divorced Brits too?

[joebloggs]

scotts case is the first one i can remember like this , i'm sure the phil government don't want all this not so good, publicity happening again

as for annulment, if your g/f has been married before then it does bring extra problems, but some on here have got annulments, and then got married to thier british b/f, i suppose it depends on how much you mean to each other, if your married already, and the guy walks away, then maybe he's not got that 100% commitment to you, easy to tell someone to forget her and walk away, if someone gave you that advice would you ??, but if you've got a bond btw you, its not so easy to do

[Alan]

............ however love is not cognisant of marital status and whilst I do not condone splitting up existing relationships surely a deserted woman deserves a chance for love.

A very valid observation Scott. Well said.

Al.

[Ady]

I have known my gf for 3 years. I love her, and herdaughter. I think it is impossible to walk away. Maybe I am stupid for being in this relationship - but I don't regret it.

Of course, I am scared of a repeat of the David Scott case, but trust my gf. First sign of a problem, and I am out of there - however tough that is, or even if impossible. But, you can't walk away from a woman you love, or her daughter that you feel is like your own.

It is not easy to find another woman. I don't even want to. I knew her past from day 1, our first chat in a game of dominoes on yahoo she told me her husband had left her for a younger model.

In the first 12 months of friendship (no relationship), I didn't even know about the divorce laws in the Philippines. It only became a matter of topic after our friendship grew - and even then it was another 12 months before we talked seriously of it.

Why should she, and her daughter, be penalised for the father having a penchant for younger women? And why should they be punished more by me turning my back on them after all my promises?

[joebloggs]

I have known my gf for 3 years. I love her, and herdaughter. I think it is impossible to walk away. Maybe I am stupid for being in this relationship - but I don't regret it.

very similar to me, after all the problems we had, nothing to do with annulment as she was not married, after a while we realised it was impossible to walk away.

no regrets to , married more than 5 years

[KeithD]

no regrets to , married more than 5 years

Hence her post count on here being ZERO

[joebloggs]

Hence her post count on here being ZERO

i don't want her hogging me pc and stopping me torrents , anyway shes too bizzy, cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids , working and she's suppose to be studying

no time for inet for her

[ginapeterb]

The Problems occur when I make a post, it is always bound to cause the replies that have come in on this thread.

I am of course not stereo typing all Filipinos who happen to be married, and I am not saying for a moment, all British guys who meet married Filipino women should duck out of the relationship, just because I happen to think they are in for the marathon of all time.

With the David Scott case, I am merely trying to illustrate, that all of us these days must be on our guard, we have to take precautions and make a judgement based on the facts in our situation.

For one thing, I think David Scott was foolish to post photos of himself and Miss Delfino on a social networking site.

Everyone knows, that when it comes to extorting money, the Filipino's will take every opportunity to take this as far as it will go, when they may as is often said "Get something out of it"

I am sure not for one moment did Noriel Delfino care about his wife's situation, especially as he forced her into working oversea's where he sat back and spent the proceeds.

The minute there is a foreigner involved, the $$$$$$ signs light up in their eyes, so yes I believe David Scott should have thought a little bit more about advertising his relationship, which in effect is what he did, let me repeat this.

David Scott advertised his adulterous relationship with a married Filipino woman.

When you say it like that, it kind of beggars belief into why he decided to advertise, possibly, he was quite proud of Miss Delfino, secondly, he is just your usual Brit who falls in love with someone 6000 miles away from home and is chuffed to bits that he actually found someone that really cares about him, and in his mind, his life time partner.

I would not for one minute say that David Scott should have ended his relationship with Miss Delfino, nor do i say, he should have not entered into it, the matter of course is purely for his judgement.

The fact is, the Philippines family code is rather out of touch with the realities of the western world, and the no fault divorce culture of our country is kind of taken for granted.

In the Philippines when human rights activists tried to introduce a no fault divorce act for the Philippines, the author's were tried in the Catholic church as ones who would burn in hell.

That is what such ones are up against in the Philippines, so where does that leave the ladies that find themselves in marriages they do not want to be in, someone said earlier, "Don't they deserve a chance at love also"?

Yes absolutely they do, provided of course, that there legal husband is not hovering around in the background and that their relationship with him is not acrimonious as in the case of Noriel Delfino and Cynthia Delfino.

I am planning on going to see her next week - in Davao that carries it's own risks. Reading about David Scott makes me worried, should I just cancel the trip? If I cancel, I am sure our relationship will take many months to fix - if it is ever fixed. If I don't, then maybe I will be subject to extortion.

As far as Ady is concerned, nope, I don't think you need to cancel your trip, what I would advise you to do, is not advertise your visit with your Girlfriend, and I think also you should keep your first meeting formal and professional, and I think its wise to bring to your GF's attention the David Scott case, and say that you are mindful of the Philippines family code.

For example, should this ladies current husband, who by the way, is her legal husband, and (forget any notions you have about they are separated and don't live together)

That kind of means little in the Philippines, it may be that he is guilty of concubinage, and just happens to be between houses, i.e. he is at the other woman's house, and is not living with the current wife.

Be careful ! he may get wind of your presence, and then start to circle around you, the minute you have any kind of sexual contact with his wife, could lead him to have you arrested in the same manner as David Scott was arrested, especially if they think they can get money from you to keep the charges dropped.

The other thing that could happen to you, is that a mission warrant may be issued against you, God forbid that happens, you could find yourself languishing in the Davao City Detention centre, where foreigners have been known to be incarcerated against their will for 8 to 12 months without any sort of trial.

Thats the worse that could happen to you, on the other hand, it maybe that you go on your holiday, and meet your Girlfriend, have a great time with her, and nothing comes out of it, maybe the husband is never in the area,and does not learn of your existence, the choice of course is yours.

The other thing you may have to take into consideration, is that you only know the details of your girlfriends relationship from her, its pretty easy for men in the Philippines to have concubines, and its pretty hard to prove they are guilty of it.

But in a woman's case, if she were to take a man in a sexual act, that immediately would render her to the possibility of immediate imprisonment, and bail would have to be set at around P12000 To P20,000, in some cases, Bail can be as much as P50,000.

The charges are not hard to prove, as in David Scott's case the evidence is plain for all to see, a baby has entered into the world, that is the evidence, and the case is a prima facia.

In other words the body has been produced.

Ady tread lightly my friend, I am being serious here, be very careful what you do in Davao City, You do not want to fall foul of the PNP there, and the Mayor of that City is one Rodrigo Duterte, not a man to be messed about with, he will have you banged up very quickly, if you fall foul of local laws.

They don't call him the sherif of Dodge City for nothing, you might see him as he rides around at night on a Harley Davidson with twin 6 shooters on his hip.

Take care, don't do anything stupid.

[Ady]

Hi Peter,

I agree with a lot of what you are saying. The only thing I didn't really agree with was about the married Filipina thing.

I have known about the rules of adultery there for a long time. It is partly a reason that it has taken me so long to go to Davao. Another part of the reason is that of the tourist advices.

In the case of David Scott - if Scott was a poor Filipino, there is no chance that the girl's husband would have behaved in the way he did. The fact that David Scott is a Westerner (and hence rich ) has given the opportunist the opportunity. And I feel sorry for David Scott. I feel sorry for his wife too.

I have already spoken with my girlfriend about this exact case. She said she doesn't think her husband will cause any problems like this - and he lives a fair distance away from her. However, I realise that the moment he gets wind that there is a Westerner (who is obviously rich because he is white) with his still lawfully wed wife, then there is a possibility that he will see this as an opportunity to extort money. I am not taking her word for it - although she may be 100% correct in the assessment of her ex-husband.

In fact, I will talk more with her about it tomorrow.

I have asked her not to mention my visit to anyone apart from her family. She is still friends with the wife of her husband's brother. As a sidenote, that guy is also between houses. That makes me angry in some ways - why it is ok for the guys, but not the girls.

I also take on board what you say about their relationship. I have only heard one side of the story.

Duterte is a reason that I plucked up the courage to go there. However, I know that falling foul of him would mean big problems. I also know that the FCO would offer very little in terms of help.

In the case of Scott, the evidence is there to be seen. I am sure that, if worse came to worse in my situation, assumptions made would require little evidence as proof.

I don't want to criticise a country - particularly not one I am planning on visiting - but some of it's laws are crazy. However, I will respect the laws of their land.

Thanks Pete, I wrote some of my responses during a stressful moment in work - and I have been stressed about this story and visiting Davao for some time. I will talk more with my gf - just confirm where her husband lives, works, and how often he is there in Davao. She used to keep in contact with him about money for their daughter - he recently stopped paying, and they contact each other infrequently (they are still "friends" to a small degree). I should add that he is in the police force.

Our trip takes in visits to different hotels at different points. I think 3 hotels in 2 weeks. If I hadn't known her for so long, I would certainly not be going there next week. Even now, I am nervous. You are right - any relationship like this requires caution.

[tomm]

I should add that he is in the police force.

[Ady]

What does that mean Tomm? Thanks.

[baboyako]

I'm guessing he means 'steer clear'. if you really want to see her, take her far far away from davao

(my 2c, sorry if it wasnt welcome)

[andypaul]

I'm guessing he means 'steer clear'. if you really want to see her, take her far far away from davao

(my 2c, sorry if it wasnt welcome)

why many couples first meet in resorts or major cities away from the family with if thought needed close family chaprones who can be trusted

[ginapeterb]

Hello Ady

Just got back and read your response, well you certainly seem to have done all your research, and you seem a responsible guy, the fact that your Girlfriend's current husband is a Police officer is kind of worrying.

I don't care what assurance she is giving you, sadly PNP are corrupt, Davao is along way from Manila, and if you fall foul of him in any way, he along with his colleagues will arrest you on the basis of nothing, it will take alot of effort to get you out of the detention centre down there in Davao.

The other thing that really worries me about your situation, is the

Mission Warrant

Or a Deportation hold order

A mission warrant can be issued for almost anything, i.e. if any of your girlfriends enemies sees you and she together, they will report the conduct to the thought police, and next you are held on a mission warrant signed by the Bureau of Immigration commissioner.

Mission warrants don't need very much in terms of accusations, and are issued on the affidavit of a complainant, they end up in the accused being held in detention until such times as his innocence is proven.

Deportation hold orders, can be issued against you, if someone in high places with contacts, does not like you, like for example

A foreigner turning up and consorting with the wife of a Police officer !

Ady mate, you could not make this story up ?

I must stress upon you, to be very careful, my wife is standing here reading what I am writing, and she says right now

"This man is asking for trouble"

If you want to talk privately by all means let me know, I will happily talk to you over mobile phone tomorrow, but my goodness, I don't like the sound of what you are telling me.

Best wishes.

[andypaul]

just my few pennies the estranged hubbies may not want any money but will not want to be out machoed.

How he may prove his manhood as a guntoting police man may be shown in various ways, all not a good idea when you are jack jones abroad.

Keeping a low profile in the next town may not work, local news travels around phill at the speed of light.