need a little advice

[wizzywizard26]

Hi All,

My wife and I have been married nearly two years now but we have lived together since 2005. I am a british guy and we lived together with other filipinos but once we got married we found an apartment of our own.

Back in December I helped out one of the other filipinas and let her come and live with us as all the others who we shared the house with had left to other places. I learned that back in 2005 that the filipina who was living with us owed money to my wife, £1500, and she did not pay it back. She claimed that she had no money until she accidently left her bank statement laying around and we discovered that she had lied to us. She had more than £10000 the bank account when she could have paid my wife. My wife is not very confrontatinal but clearly she was very upset that a friend of her had lied. So it was down to me to ask for the money back for her. Anyway, in the end she paid the money back but as she had lied to us she had to find somewhere else to live. Although my wife claims she is happy to have her money back there is now a very frosty atmostphere in the house. I am now wishing I never stood in.

My question is, Was I right to ask for my wife's money back?

I have tried talking to my wife about it but she says she don't want to talk to me about it.. What can I do? how come when you seem to do the right thing but it now it feels wrong?

Thanks in advance,

Gordy

[alicat]

hi wizzywizard26,

you just did the right thing,dont worry about it,
mybe shes worried about her friend,and feel a little
bit guilty as well,your wife and me have same situation
its hapen to me before and my hubby did the same thing..

[wizzywizard26]

Thank you.. You have made me feel a whole lot better. I just don't like people taking advantage of her good nature..

Thanks once again,

Gordy

[andypaul]

A second you did the right thing.

Its strange in the UK my wife is like this will lend things to other phills and i have to nag her to get them back.
In phill she would have it back asap i know that for certain.

I think its a face thing she is embrassed her hubby got involved, embrassed she didn't deal with it.

Time is a great healer and im sure all will be fine

[ervenescence]

Its wrong for her friend to have lied to your wife. But I think, instead of you asking her friend to have your wife's money back, you should have a conversation with your wife first with regards to this matter.

Your wife is not too upfront, I guess she was just waiting for the right time. Lets your wife's do the talking, instead of you crossing the line between her and her friend. You should asked your wife's idea first if she don't mind you asking her friend instead.

But at the same time, I think you're right of asking her friend because if you waited for your wife to make the move...well, perhaps she would never get her money back.

[andypaul]

But when your married its not your wifes money or yours its both of yours.

As some of my Wifes Phill friends have found when they think they can borrow indefintely of the missus. I will make it know if my wife don't make her move and i would expect her to do the same if my mates took the mick out of me.


Funnily the one who used to do it a lot, was a flash show off lady who would always need to borrow things of my Wife which annoyed me when i knew my wife had worked for these items, while the other lady got it all from her sugar daddy husband.

[ervenescence]

But when your married its not your wifes money or yours its both of yours.

Nope. Whats mine is mine and whats his still mine .

[andypaul]

Nope. Whats mine is mine and whats his still mine .

you sure hubby not gone to check on his private bank stash this week

[KeithD]

Probably making a few quid extra on Clapham Common

[andypaul]

Probably making a few quid extra on Clapham Common

us londoners have badgers you country folk have sheep

I guess its one way of meeting your MP or a popstar