continuition...
us that I had only a couple of months to live. Stage 4 cancer is like a death sentence.
As my doctor was speaking, I didn't understand a word he said because all I could think of was Charlie, my children, my family, my in-laws, would whisper, Lord, help me...help them, Lord!
They're all suffering. I don't know how to comfort them. The day before my first chemotherapy, I said, Lord, just tell me you're in control. Tell me that no one made a mistake and I'll be fine no matter what, Lord. Somebody gave me a devotional book entitled Streams in the Desert which I read
at 3 o'clock in the morning. It said, this is my doing.
Your weakness needs my strength and your safety lies in letting me fight for you. You did not come to this place by accident. You are exactly where I meant you to be. You were so busy that I could not get your attention and I wanted to teach you some of my greatest truths. The pain will leave you as soon as you learn to see me; in all things. These words became the pillow on which I rested my weary head.
I surrendered to God all my fears, all my burdens and my family as I began my journey of trials. I focused on His promises as Jesus said, Surely I am
with you always.
By God's gracious mercy and beyond all medical explanation, after six months of chemotherapy went on remission. Eight months later, the cancer was back. More surgery, more chemo. And then again, God allowed healing for me. The best lesson I am learning from this is how God allows us to enjoy life with His moment by moment of grace. My third bout with cancer entailed three different chemotherapies infused at the same time. The Lord allowed me to learn to NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP...PUT YOUR HOPE IN GOD.
Three times, I was at the threshold of death. Medicines and state-of-the- art treatments were notworking anymore. Not all the money in the world nor
the best doctors on earth can make us live if God doesn't want us to. During those times, God comforted my heart with these verses: Why are you downcast o my soul? Why so disturbed within me?
