Looking at the hill in front, with strong hiking boots ready!

[aposhark]

Hi,

Joining the group of smiling people with a Filipina(o) in their lives First post....

I have a limited idea of what my Filipina girlfriend and I are about to go through and I wonder if anyone would be kind enough to shed any light on any of the comments I make here. I won't set things out in a point-by-point way, more like letter-style rambling.

I am open to any comments, good or bad, as hopefully they could make me aware of things I have not thought about, or obstacles to overcome.

I have recently returned from 6 weeks in Phils where I met and fell in love with my girlfriend.

She is from the province of Cebu and unable to easily get to an internet café to send emails, chat on IM and such-like. I am assisting her financially as I truly believe we are in love. I had read about horror stories but believe her to be honest and truthful. I met her working in a restaurant, I believe her to be "good" in the sense that she works hard and has a heart as big as an ox. I don't look down on any girl who works in bars, any hard worker is OK in my book. I just took time to find a shy girl from the province, but coming from a small island brings it's fair share of communication problems.

We fell in love, it was a complete shock to me how quickly this happened, I felt pleasantly overwhelmed at the affection she showed me. I am talking about innocent stuff here, the hand-holding and constant affection that I have never experienced before. I understood how easy it is to love a Filipina. I had previously worked many years overseas and met so many men from many different countries who all told me that marrying a Filipina was the best decision they had ever made.

My gf and I talked about the future, marriage and raising a family, it is something we both want so my thoughts moved on to the practicalities of life. I am now back in the UK, we chat every day on the phone and I send a letter every week. I can see this going the whole way.

She is going through the first steps as I see it, getting ID sorted out and then I will ask her to get a passport. She is from a remote island.

I plan on asking her to marry me and met a Filipina here in England who is married to an English man. She informed me that she thought that getting married in Manila would be the best option as the paperwork wouldn't get slowed down by the constant movement between government offices, barangays etc in various islands and districts.
Is this correct? If so, how do I find out about how to marry in Manila?

I read the requirements for the visa form and can tick all of my boxes.
It looks as though it will be more difficult for her. I have suggested that it would be better for her to live closer to an internet café so communications would be much better. I have a feeling that doing this will help to speed up the spousal visa after the marriage as we can chat on-line and help each other through the process. Is this a good plan?

I know that we will both have to do many things to get married and then to obtain her spousal visa. I am not looking forward to the wait but it seems that is just the way it is. I just thought that getting married in Phils and showing true commitment before bringing her to England was the good and correct way to proceed. I think she will be the girl for me in life, it just looks like an uphill slog to get the top of the hill to see the view.

Well that is all for now, thanks for any feedback.
I would like to hear from anyone who has been through this seemingly daunting process.

Mike

[IainBusby]

Hi Mike,

I have suggested that it would be better for her to live closer to an internet café so communications would be much better.

Why don't you consider buying her a computer, that is, if she able to get wi-fi where she is. The other option is to get her to find a boarding house near to the web cafe and pay for her to stay there. Or maybe even do both, pay for her to stay in a boarding house and buy her a computer also.

I would like to hear from anyone who has been through this seemingly daunting process.

I would think that 99% of the guys on here have been through this daunting process so you have definately come to the right place to get advice on all of the things you are about to go through and all of the potential pitfalls.

I suggest that you use the search function on here first and then if you can't find out what you need to know, just ask. I'm sure you will find the members here only too willing to help you.

Louella & Iain.

[andypaul]

Welcome Aposhark

Sounds like you had a great time for six weeks.

With regards phone calls make sure you sort out the best method for you. Im sure you seen many if you have a quick search of the Site.

With regards advice from those who have come over all is welcome but make sure you check the latest info. The lady you spoke to may have come over years ago (even the process when my wife came 2 and half years was totally different).

You will need an internet connection. various methods and all depends on your circumstances. Internet cafes are not very private places and if you can arrange a pc of some sort its worth it.
Smart now do a pay as you go 3g card which someone put a link on one thread this means where she gets a decent signal she should get the internet.

Get the communcation and if you need to send remittance all sorted now. but keep checking on a at least two weekly period for changes and updates.

I found best to have several ways of both communicating and sending remittance as over the years one service for some reason as been up the creak for at least a while just the way it is.

May also be worth asking your Mahal to join the Site it is complex for us and with out knowing to much of your background it maybe some thing thats not to challanging to you with filling in paperwork and researching procedures. For your Mahal it maybe something she has never experienced and mind boggling. The ladies who have experienced this will be able to help her far more than you or I can do.

Good Luck to the two of you and stay in touch its always great to see peoples story unfold

[kimmi]

welcome to the forum, Mike..where in England are u from??

btw,Goodluck to u and ur gf..

[ervenescence]

Hi,



I know that we will both have to do many things to get married and then to obtain her spousal visa. I am not looking forward to the wait but it seems that is just the way it is. I just thought that getting married in Phils and showing true commitment before bringing her to England was the good and correct way to proceed. I think she will be the girl for me in life, it just looks like an uphill slog to get the top of the hill to see the view.


Mike

Yes, I would go for that if I were you, get married in the Philippines and apply for a spouse visa. I think its the best option not just for visa but for her family and friends to witness her wedding day.
If you think that it takes time to sort those things out, like documents and stuffs. Well, nevermind...its worth it anyway and shes gonna ba with you forever..

[IainBusby]

I plan on asking her to marry me and met a Filipina here in England who is married to an English man. She informed me that she thought that getting married in Manila would be the best option as the paperwork wouldn't get slowed down by the constant movement between government offices. Is this correct?

Yes, I would go for that if I were you, get married in the Philippines and apply for a spouse visa. I think its the best option not just for visa but for her family and friends to witness her wedding day.
If you think that it takes time to sort those things out, like documents and stuffs. Well, nevermind...its worth it anyway and shes gonna ba with you forever..

I think that if you have a civil ceremony and get married by a judge in the nearest city to where she lives, the paperwork will not take too long to get processed. This would also allow at least some of her family to attend without having to travel all the way to Manila.

I think that in the grand scheme of things, the time it will take to process the paperwork and get the marriage certificate should be the least of your worries.

Cheers,

Iain.

[andypaul]

I think that if you have a civil ceremony and get married by a judge in the nearest city to where she lives, the paperwork will not take too long to get processed. This would also allow at least some of her family to attend without having to travel all the way to Manila.

I think that in the grand scheme of things, the time it will take to process the paperwork and get the marriage certificate should be the least of your worries.

Cheers,

Iain.

Great Advice

[aposhark]

Hi Iaian and AndyPaul, thanks for the replies.
Can you tell me why the Filipina lady here in the UK (who married in 2007 in Leyte) advised me to marry in Manila as opposed to near to the island where my gf lives?
Thanks,
Mike

[Eljohno]

Hi Iaian and AndyPaul, thanks for the replies.
Can you tell me why the Filipina lady here in the UK (who married in 2007 in Leyte) advised me to marry in Manila as opposed to near to the island where my gf lives?
Thanks,
Mike

I think your girlfriend if you decide to marry her in the Philippines will want it where she lives as she will want her family & friends there and if you have it in Manila you will have to pay for them all to go there.

Maybe the paperwork would be quicker in Manila but it will be her big day so forget about having it there would be my suggestion!!

[andypaul]

Hi Iaian and AndyPaul, thanks for the replies.
Can you tell me why the Filipina lady here in the UK (who married in 2007 in Leyte) advised me to marry in Manila as opposed to near to the island where my gf lives?
Thanks,
Mike

I have no idea but if you want to transport the 200 plus friends and family im sure she will want at the wedding to manila then maybe you can tell us

Many here have married in provines and had no problems.

Some people want pure speed of process and do everything to speed though to the visa in the hand which i understand people have to do for various reasons. But sometimes you have to make sure your mahal and you in enjoy and remeber the big day for all the right reasons.

Getting married in manila for some phills might as well be getting married in timbucktoo.

[IainBusby]

She is from the province of Cebu and unable to easily get to an internet café to send emails, chat on IM and such-like. I am assisting her financially as I truly believe we are in love. I had read about horror stories but believe her to be honest and truthful. I met her working in a restaurant, I believe her to be "good" in the sense that she works hard and has a heart as big as an ox. I don't look down on any girl who works in bars, any hard worker is OK in my book. I just took time to find a shy girl from the province, but coming from a small island brings it's fair share of communication problems.

Hi Iaian and AndyPaul, thanks for the replies.
Can you tell me why the Filipina lady here in the UK (who married in 2007 in Leyte) advised me to marry in Manila as opposed to near to the island where my gf lives?
Thanks,
Mike

Hi Mike,
The Filipino lady in the UK probably assumes that because your gf comes from a small island, which from your initial post sounds quite remote, that it will take a long time before your papers are processed and you finally receive the marriage certificate.

She may be right on that score, but if as I suggested, you marry in the nearest city to where her folks live, then I'm sure the time difference in getting the marriage certificate will be very little if any, in comparison with getting married in Manila.

My wife and I got married in Cagayan De Oro City on a Monday and with the typical single-minded persistence of the Filipina, my wife managed to get the wedding certificate in her hand by the following Friday. As I said before, in the grand scheme of things.......

I think that if you take a balanced view of the need for speed with regard to processing your papers and the need to make it a wonderful day for your intended and her family, then I'm sure you will both make the right decisions about where, how and when you will marry.

Cheers,

Iain.

[aposhark]

Hello kimmi

Thanks for the welcome.

I live between Rugby and Coventry, in the Midlands.
Although I am a "northern boy" originally. And Proud Of It :-)

Mike



to the forum, Mike..where in England are u from??

btw,Goodluck to u and ur gf..

[aposhark]

Eljohno, AndyPaul and Iain,

Now moving thread out of Introduction.

Hope you can join me there.
Thanks,

Mike

[andypaul]

Eljohno, AndyPaul and Iain,

Now moving thread out of Introduction.

Hope you can join me there.
Thanks,

Mike

Im sure as long as there is no smelly fish being prepared we will all pop over

[IainBusby]

Hello kimmi

Thanks for the welcome.

I live between Rugby and Coventry, in the Midlands.
Although I am a "northern boy" originally. And Proud Of It :-)

Mike

Hi Mike,
When you've finished climbing that hill and have removed your hiking boots, I mean when you've been through it all, wedding, visa, CFO seminar etc and you've finally got your wife here with you in the UK, you'll have to bring her over to Coventry to meet my missus Louella.

Once she's here you'll soon realise that it's a very important to her to find Filipina freinds in the UK. It really helps with the homesickness when they can organise regular get-togethers and they've got lots of freinds they can chat to on the phone etc.

Cheers,

Iain.

[aposhark]

Hi Iain,

When you've finished.....you'll have to bring her over to Coventry to meet my missus Louella.

Will take you up on that kind offer, Iain.

Thanks
Mike

[aug06_2006]

Hi! Mike, welcome to this helpful site. Best wishes for u both!

[chino]

welcome to the site! - good luck with everything...

I have just been getting my GF all her paperwork ready for her passport which she should get next month if everything goes to plan.. Just got NBI and Postal ID so far...

[kimmi]

I have just been getting my GF all her paperwork ready for her passport which she should get next month if everything goes to plan.. Just got NBI and Postal ID so far...

Goodluck mate..

[andypaul]

welcome to the site! - good luck with everything...

I have just been getting my GF all her paperwork ready for her passport which she should get next month if everything goes to plan.. Just got NBI and Postal ID so far...

At first it starts really slowly and then snowballs as jigsaw fits together