Western Union Transfer Screw-Up

[keithAngel]

like difficult to ask for money you mean?

[aromulus]

like difficult to ask for money you mean?

[andypaul]

like difficult to ask for money you mean?

Well just thinking of the family setup while aposhark is there and if his mahal came to the UK.

As you know families depend on people far more and with out knowing the setup of the family. Losing a vital cog may make it very difficult for aposhark.

For example who would travel with Aposharks mahal when she needs to vist the CFO, DFA, Manila. Its not like popping from england to scotland on a train, particularly for a lone young lady.

Also people can hold grudges for a long time.

[kimmi]

Well just thinking of the family setup while aposhark is there and if his mahal came to the UK.

As you know families depend on people far more and with out knowing the setup of the family. Losing a vital cog may make it very difficult for aposhark.

For example who would travel with Aposharks mahal when she needs to vist the CFO, DFA, Manila. Its not like popping from england to scotland on a train, particularly for a lone young lady.

Also people can hold grudges for a long time.

[keithAngel]

Well just thinking of the family setup while aposhark is there and if his mahal came to the UK.

As you know families depend on people far more and with out knowing the setup of the family. Losing a vital cog may make it very difficult for aposhark.

For example who would travel with Aposharks mahal when she needs to vist the CFO, DFA, Manila. Its not like popping from england to scotland on a train, particularly for a lone young lady.

Also people can hold grudges for a long time.

Its an interesting concern, of course if the Uncle is culpable he may quite rightly feel ashamed and want to repair the damage Im sure the Victims of this would not hold a grudge and everyone could move on.

[andypaul]

Its an interesting concern, of course if the Uncle is culpable he may quite rightly feel ashamed and want to repair the damage Im sure the Victims of this would not hold a grudge and everyone could move on.

I was thinking if he felt humliated, remeber this is a macho phill not new man brit.

If you just let him off your giving a bad signal imo.

Saying if you con Aposhark out of money it don't matter he will just forget.

A very tricky situation for all concerned

[aposhark]

It is a strange feeling to be part of a soap opera when you are in the middle of it Life has become very complicated when it should be so easy.

I understand that there could be a problem in the family, there definitely is and I have to find out what it IS
My GF has to admit it was collusion all along (which I can't imagine she would admit to, or to blame the uncle which would be difficult to do also.
I know she is in a terrible quandry, but it it is a quandry that was made over there!

This was my first money transfer to a lady who speaks to me every day and who wants to marry me, so this missing money still doesn't make sense to me.

I still have to wait for her news from WU on Monday.

I am starting to believe she knew all along, but what a silly way of obtaining money if it was coming to her all along anyway.

If the uncle is to blame, which I obviously hope so, I will just have to ask for him not to be involved with me in any shape or form.

She must be feeling as terrible as me as she is always professing innocence. Why would she do this with a promising future in England ahead of her, where she can work and send money back to her family? It is a mystery to me.

[keithAngel]

It is very difficult to project oneself into the way others experience there lives

Having been in the Thai scene a fair bit some of the stories and escapades are amazing including one of my favourites a guy who went to meet his lady and was effectively held in the village until he came up with the dowry

He didn't know where he was ,the name of the place or speak the language
and his desperate attempts via cell phone sound absurd in hindsight as the battery ran down and his mate tried to get the tourist police involved

Your Lady may have had extreme pressure put on her and have been faced with a huge conflict of loyalties you may never know but its an opportunity also for her to see your strength and commitment to working through stuff

People who live at the extremes of poverty have different ways to prioritize and consequence is something to deal with tomorrow survival today is the name of the game.

To me that doesn't mean going along with anything but understanding that's how it is gives us a different context to work with and perhaps more compassion

[aposhark]

It is very difficult to project oneself into the way others experience there lives

Having been in the Thai scene a fair bit some of the stories and escapades are amazing including one of my favourites a guy who went to meet his lady and was effectively held in the village until he came up with the dowry

He didn't know where he was ,the name of the place or speak the language
and his desperate attempts via cell phone sound absurd in hindsight as the battery ran down and his mate tried to get the tourist police involved

Your Lady may have had extreme pressure put on her and have been faced with a huge conflict of loyalties you may never know but its an opportunity also for her to see your strength and commitment to working through stuff

People who live at the extremes of poverty have different ways to prioritize and consequence is something to deal with tomorrow survival today is the name of the game.

To me that doesn't mean going along with anything but understanding that's how it is gives us a different context to work with and perhaps more compassion

Very perceptive keithAngel.
Maybe it's because I am a white Brit, but in my experience, people who squash the "golden egg" need their heads testing.
Now I know I'm no big catch, but love was supposed to be in the air and is still professed to be so until "her dying day".
This was the start of her long (love-filled) journey and it has stalled at the first hurdle.

[andypaul]

Very perceptive keithAngel.
Maybe it's because I am a white Brit, but in my experience, people who squash the "golden egg" need their heads testing.
Now I know I'm no big catch, but love was supposed to be in the air and is still professed to be so until "her dying day".
This was the start of her long (love-filled) journey and it has stalled at the first hurdle.

It is true in places where life is harder people don't look at the big picture/ the long term.

If you give the wife a little extra money to send she will look after the family and its rare unless a huge amount anything will be spared and saved. Its all needed in most cases.

We have a few things we have on the "we would like to get list" normally.

Say the toaster needs replacing, be nice to have a new car. In the main achevable if we really need. But for the main we have all the necessary things in life and the rest are extras.
when i hand a bonsus to the home helps (the wife doesn't call them maids anymore she is turning western lol) they already have a list as long as their arm of things that they are relived to pay off or purchases.

I still feel the money was needed for esential payment of something or things a what they thought was a little white lie was told and now its all blown up in everyones faces. No one can back down with out looking bad.