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Thread: Western Union Transfer Screw-Up

  1. #61
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    Even money on the uncle..........


  2. #62
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    one thing ive discovered 3.6p per minuit on 1st phone cards they do take 10p a day service but £10,00 gets about 300 mins from my mobile to hers


  3. #63
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithAngel View Post
    one thing ive discovered 3.6p per minuit on 1st phone cards they do take 10p a day service but £10,00 gets about 300 mins from my mobile to hers
    Skype is also cheaper..

    Quote Originally Posted by aposhark View Post
    First of all I would like to thank everyone who commented after my last message. Messages of support are appreciated.
    Rather than reply individually, this is the state of play now:

    This is a paragraph from Western Union: Quote:
    The transfer was paid according to Western Union’s service policies, and the terms and conditions outlined on the back of the “To Send Money” form.

    Due to privacy laws applicable to this money transfer transaction, we are unable to disclose the recipient’s identification details. Only a law enforcement agency inquiring on your behalf may request the receiver's identification and the exact payout location. Law enforcement may contact Fexco Money Transfer Ltd directly for any further information regarding the payment of this transfer that may be required as part of their investigations.
    Unquote

    I have sent an email to WU asking for them to send me the signed receipt from the WU agent in Phils. They said this can take up to 2 weeks.

    I have sent my GF texts to tell her that if marriage is our plan, I need 100% trust and I am not getting it.
    I told her that someone is lying and that I will not speak to her on the phone until I get the truth.
    As you can imagine, I am getting so many "missed calls" as I am not answering her for now. She normally calls me and I call back at 7p per minute. All this has stopped until the truth is out.
    She is sending me texts still saying neither her nor her uncle received the money! She is sad.

    I will not talk with her until she "comes clean" and tells me the truth. I have told her not to text me as it is costing her, and that the next text I want to receive contains the truth.

    The £100 I can write off, it's the trust in what we have been planning together that is the issue for me now.

    What I do next I have no idea at the moment. It all depends on how the truth is delivered and what the excuse is.

    I know how her family lives. It is a small but clean house on a small island.
    I understand poverty (I worked in 13 West African countries and Phils is more advanced than West Africa) but I think she is not looking at the bigger picture. To be honest, all this has got me thinking about scenarios that I have read other people have endured like the GF having a Filipino BF etc.
    This is what mistrust does. The perils of LDR.

    Assuming there are no problems that I just mentioned, perhaps she just doesn't really know how much her life will change coming to UK.
    We have talked about marriage and obtaining her visa and she tells me she loves me etc.....and seems so thankful and happy to be planning things.
    She said she would marry me in her island so I do believe that.

    Now obviously it could still be the uncle, or both of them as they are tight as a family.

    My silence is golden. It is the best thing I can do at the moment.

    Thanks again, will report back.
    Sorry to hear about ur story Aposhark, well it is really hard to trust people nowadays.. but since u've asked WU to sent u the signed copy of the receipt and they will gonna send it to u in the next two weeks then it will be easier for u to know who's really saying the truth..

    the worst thing is if ur gf connives with her uncle..


  4. #64
    Respected Member Pepe n Pilar's Avatar
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    Just want to share about trust.....I had experienced remittance from my fiance's bank in the UK to my bank back home. Since this bank is not the corresponding bank of my bank so it took awhile before reaching my bank. The amt was sent by my bf Feb. 26 and he was told that it will be credited to my acct 5-7 days the most. I didn't receive it on the said date. We waited until after 2 weeks he said that it is not normal for a remittance to take that long. He checked with his bank and he was told that it was already in the Phils and already in my bank but just doing some checking abt my infos. So i called my bank and was told it wasn't there so i informed my fiance. He did the investigation from his end and so did i. It was only after a month that i was surprised when i was making withdrawals thru the atm that i noticed of a triple balance in my account. I immediately notified him and he called his bank. In this one month ordeal he never lost his trust on me and he's 100%sure it was his banks' fault. Trust is earned through the years, that is very important in a relationship.
    " The people who mean something to your life are not rated "the best" don't have the most money, haven't won the greatest prizes....
    They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by... "


  5. #65
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsme_iye View Post
    Trust is earned through the years, that is very important in a relationship.


  6. #66
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    the difficult thing is not knowing, she could be telling you the truth, as far as she knows it is the truth, thats what her uncle has told her..

    i wonder if she was scamming you, there are better ways of doing it than that, saying she never got the money, checks can be done, as your'e already doing it. she could have told you the classic one, where she got mugged when she picked the money up, or she needs money for medical treatment etc... why pick a scam where you can do some checks.. but then why didn't she go with her uncle..

    its difficult, i've been in similar situation many times, but looking back now, i know sometimes, the money wasn't for my misses but for someone in her family, and the pressure they put on her to ask me for it, unfair on her and me.. but thats families for you , i don't blame her thou..


  7. #67
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    there are lots of points we can see with this situation but in the end only the WU and ur gf can say what's the real truth..


  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimmi View Post
    there are lots of points we can see with this situation but in the end only the WU and ur gf can say what's the real truth..
    can they , only person who really knows is her uncle, did he get the money or not.. simple as that...

    WU, i've heard in the past have given money to people who know the number and the answer to the question, but WU in the past have been targets of scams, one similar to this, where people transfered the money, and within 20 mins they had gone to collect the money, only to be told someone had already taken it, the cops discovered it was fraud by WU staff in one branch..


  9. #69
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    can they , only person who really knows is her uncle, did he get the money or not.. simple as that...
    the problem is the Uncle is denying it or shall I say claiming that he haven't got any money yet..

    it is really easy to get money in WU since u only need the control number and some bits of infos from the sender..

    and here who is saying the truth??the uncle/gf who's saying that they haven't got the moeny or the WU that's claiming ang preparing for the receipt that it was already claimed??


  10. #70
    Respected Member Les_lady888's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    WU, i've heard in the past have given money to people who know the number and the answer to the question, but WU in the past have been targets of scams, one similar to this, where people transfered the money, and within 20 mins they had gone to collect the money, only to be told someone had already taken it, the cops discovered it was fraud by WU staff in one branch..
    OK Let me share with you a fact that there was really a recent scam being done by unscrupulous people trying to infiltrate remittance centers and banks so as to get information about pending money transfer control numbers and beneficiaries. This people usually victimize branches in the province. I won't elaborate how they do it but these unscrupulous men were able to penetrate the systems of some remittance centers and banks...and they were really able to collect the remittances by posing as the beneficiary. How they do it? they submitted counterfeit IDs.

    That is the real reason why some banks, especially mine , are very meticulous and VERY strict in the presentation of valid IDs when claiming remittances.


  11. #71
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    Skype to mobile is 14 p skype to skype is free but like yahoo doesnt always work to much noise and not enough bandwidth

    I can use the phonecard where ever i am and from my mobile to hers


  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Les_lady888 View Post
    OK Let me share with you a fact that there was really a recent scam being done by unscrupulous people trying to infiltrate remittance centers and banks so as to get information about pending money transfer control numbers and beneficiaries. This people usually victimize branches in the province. I won't elaborate how they do it but these unscrupulous men were able to penetrate the systems of some remittance centers and banks...and they were really able to collect the remittances by posing as the beneficiary. How they do it? they submitted counterfeit IDs.

    That is the real reason why some banks, especially mine , are very meticulous and VERY strict in the presentation of valid IDs when claiming remittances.

    Very good advice my Wife while in Phill had to carry about a million pieces of ID to the bank and she knew the Cashiers and bank manager.


  13. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    as far as she knows it is the truth, thats what her uncle has told her..
    ..
    If it looks like a duck.... Walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it must be a duck......

    Close family or not, as I mentioned before, the uncle has been scamming the both of you....

    When money is involved, some family members tend to stitch each other up .....
    He will swear blind that he never saw a pence of all that dosh...


  14. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    If it looks like a duck.... Walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it must be a duck......

    Close family or not, as I mentioned before, the uncle has been scamming the both of you....

    When money is involved, some family members tend to stitch each other up .....
    He will swear blind that he never saw a pence of all that dosh...
    My GF has told me she is going to the mainland on Monday to meet her uncle at the office where WU said he was supposed to have collected the money.

    I have been very determined and told her that if either she or her uncle doesn't admit that the money was collected, then I don't want to be contacted again by phone or text.

    I think it is best to be ruthless as marriage, spousal visa, travel and everything related will be expensive and I have lost trust.


  15. #75
    Respected Member Mrs Daddy's Avatar
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    oh dear...I am very sorry about the bad result aposhark.as you can see one of them is lying and Its all up to you now what do you want to do with your relationship as I completely agree abput building trust in a relationship.More power to you and God Bless!
    to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...


  16. #76
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    I dont disagree but on the positive side if its Uncle and she can deal with it you will have sent a very clear message about the standards you require and after all if she is innocent you dont I presume want to throw the babe out with the bathwater


  17. #77
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    If the Girlfriend is innocent and i mean she may have had a nagging doubt about her uncle but was not complict in claiming the money was never picked up.
    How will the relationship between both you and her be with her Uncle?

    Could it raise potential problems later on?


  18. #78
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    like difficult to ask for money you mean?


  19. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithAngel View Post
    I dont disagree but on the positive side if its Uncle and she can deal with it you will have sent a very clear message about the standards you require and after all if she is innocent you dont I presume want to throw the babe out with the bathwater
    yeah if you appear a soft touch in phill you will get messed around by some it seems. i sometimes say no or be stingy in some way just to show i won't be messed about.

    You will also need to gain respect of some of the blokes in the family i feel as its a much more macho world out there.


  20. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithAngel View Post
    like difficult to ask for money you mean?



  21. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithAngel View Post
    like difficult to ask for money you mean?
    Well just thinking of the family setup while aposhark is there and if his mahal came to the UK.

    As you know families depend on people far more and with out knowing the setup of the family. Losing a vital cog may make it very difficult for aposhark.

    For example who would travel with Aposharks mahal when she needs to vist the CFO, DFA, Manila. Its not like popping from england to scotland on a train, particularly for a lone young lady.

    Also people can hold grudges for a long time.


  22. #82
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andypaul View Post
    Well just thinking of the family setup while aposhark is there and if his mahal came to the UK.

    As you know families depend on people far more and with out knowing the setup of the family. Losing a vital cog may make it very difficult for aposhark.

    For example who would travel with Aposharks mahal when she needs to vist the CFO, DFA, Manila. Its not like popping from england to scotland on a train, particularly for a lone young lady.

    Also people can hold grudges for a long time.


  23. #83
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andypaul View Post
    Well just thinking of the family setup while aposhark is there and if his mahal came to the UK.

    As you know families depend on people far more and with out knowing the setup of the family. Losing a vital cog may make it very difficult for aposhark.

    For example who would travel with Aposharks mahal when she needs to vist the CFO, DFA, Manila. Its not like popping from england to scotland on a train, particularly for a lone young lady.

    Also people can hold grudges for a long time.
    Its an interesting concern, of course if the Uncle is culpable he may quite rightly feel ashamed and want to repair the damage Im sure the Victims of this would not hold a grudge and everyone could move on.


  24. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithAngel View Post
    Its an interesting concern, of course if the Uncle is culpable he may quite rightly feel ashamed and want to repair the damage Im sure the Victims of this would not hold a grudge and everyone could move on.

    I was thinking if he felt humliated, remeber this is a macho phill not new man brit.

    If you just let him off your giving a bad signal imo.

    Saying if you con Aposhark out of money it don't matter he will just forget.

    A very tricky situation for all concerned


  25. #85
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    Ah you think a more bone crunching solution would be in order or hand amputation, perhaps the ladies can advise on proper behavior to gain respect in the wider family


  26. #86
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    It is a strange feeling to be part of a soap opera when you are in the middle of it Life has become very complicated when it should be so easy.

    I understand that there could be a problem in the family, there definitely is and I have to find out what it IS
    My GF has to admit it was collusion all along (which I can't imagine she would admit to, or to blame the uncle which would be difficult to do also.
    I know she is in a terrible quandry, but it it is a quandry that was made over there!

    This was my first money transfer to a lady who speaks to me every day and who wants to marry me, so this missing money still doesn't make sense to me.

    I still have to wait for her news from WU on Monday.

    I am starting to believe she knew all along, but what a silly way of obtaining money if it was coming to her all along anyway.

    If the uncle is to blame, which I obviously hope so, I will just have to ask for him not to be involved with me in any shape or form.

    She must be feeling as terrible as me as she is always professing innocence. Why would she do this with a promising future in England ahead of her, where she can work and send money back to her family? It is a mystery to me.


  27. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    Even money on the uncle..........
    I just hope you are right aromulus.
    It is the best outcome


  28. #88
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    It is very difficult to project oneself into the way others experience there lives

    Having been in the Thai scene a fair bit some of the stories and escapades are amazing including one of my favourites a guy who went to meet his lady and was effectively held in the village until he came up with the dowry

    He didn't know where he was ,the name of the place or speak the language
    and his desperate attempts via cell phone sound absurd in hindsight as the battery ran down and his mate tried to get the tourist police involved

    Your Lady may have had extreme pressure put on her and have been faced with a huge conflict of loyalties you may never know but its an opportunity also for her to see your strength and commitment to working through stuff

    People who live at the extremes of poverty have different ways to prioritize and consequence is something to deal with tomorrow survival today is the name of the game.

    To me that doesn't mean going along with anything but understanding that's how it is gives us a different context to work with and perhaps more compassion


  29. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithAngel View Post
    It is very difficult to project oneself into the way others experience there lives

    Having been in the Thai scene a fair bit some of the stories and escapades are amazing including one of my favourites a guy who went to meet his lady and was effectively held in the village until he came up with the dowry

    He didn't know where he was ,the name of the place or speak the language
    and his desperate attempts via cell phone sound absurd in hindsight as the battery ran down and his mate tried to get the tourist police involved

    Your Lady may have had extreme pressure put on her and have been faced with a huge conflict of loyalties you may never know but its an opportunity also for her to see your strength and commitment to working through stuff

    People who live at the extremes of poverty have different ways to prioritize and consequence is something to deal with tomorrow survival today is the name of the game.

    To me that doesn't mean going along with anything but understanding that's how it is gives us a different context to work with and perhaps more compassion
    Very perceptive keithAngel.
    Maybe it's because I am a white Brit, but in my experience, people who squash the "golden egg" need their heads testing.
    Now I know I'm no big catch, but love was supposed to be in the air and is still professed to be so until "her dying day".
    This was the start of her long (love-filled) journey and it has stalled at the first hurdle.


  30. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithAngel View Post
    Ah you think a more bone crunching solution would be in order or hand amputation, perhaps the ladies can advise on proper behavior to gain respect in the wider family
    No a cold shoulder was more my idea and cutting him off.

    But thats easier said than done.

    But to carry on as if nothing happened would make aposhark look weak and as if he accepts it.
    Possibly giving others the signal that if i con whitey boy he won't do or say a thing.

    Its like the fine line of not letting people push you about in the street/school playground with out
    fighting everyone you meet.

    Ask the mahal about Tampo a very effective weapon and one i have used for years in a different ways
    when you cut of human beings many find that far worse than a punch in the face. As most of us are social animals
    who lack of social interaction is one of the worst punishments ie prison and solidarity confinement


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