Western Union Transfer Screw-Up

[aposhark]

To be honest, I wouldn't care "a monkeys" if it was the uncle all along. I would just prefer not to meet him again.
The object of my desire is this lovely young lady and if she was here with me in England, he would be a distant memory for me.
I know he is important to her though, but the answer to this silly little soap opera isn't out yet.
She has been very conspicuous by her silence for a couple of days, so I know something is up.
She said they will visit WU on Monday and soon after I should have news.

Thanks for the posts, I'll get back Tues/Wed

[andypaul]

Very perceptive keithAngel.
Maybe it's because I am a white Brit, but in my experience, people who squash the "golden egg" need their heads testing.
Now I know I'm no big catch, but love was supposed to be in the air and is still professed to be so until "her dying day".
This was the start of her long (love-filled) journey and it has stalled at the first hurdle.

It is true in places where life is harder people don't look at the big picture/ the long term.

If you give the wife a little extra money to send she will look after the family and its rare unless a huge amount anything will be spared and saved. Its all needed in most cases.

We have a few things we have on the "we would like to get list" normally.

Say the toaster needs replacing, be nice to have a new car. In the main achevable if we really need. But for the main we have all the necessary things in life and the rest are extras.
when i hand a bonsus to the home helps (the wife doesn't call them maids anymore she is turning western lol) they already have a list as long as their arm of things that they are relived to pay off or purchases.

I still feel the money was needed for esential payment of something or things a what they thought was a little white lie was told and now its all blown up in everyones faces. No one can back down with out looking bad.

[keithAngel]

As i said to my lady today when she pouts she looks even more beautiful so I have to annoy her sometimes just to get that look......pst guys if you like something your not supposed to it may stop sooner I have found.

Social exclusion has its uses, and I use it professionally to modify behavior but fear of it is stronger than the execution.

[andypaul]

To be honest, I wouldn't care "a monkeys" if it was the uncle all along. I would just prefer not to meet him again.
The object of my desire is this lovely young lady and if she was here with me in England, he would be a distant memory for me.
I know he is important to her though, but the answer to this silly little soap opera isn't out yet.
She has been very conspicuous by her silence for a couple of days, so I know something is up.
She said they will visit WU on Monday and soon after I should have news.

Thanks for the posts, I'll get back Tues/Wed

What ever happens I hope the truth is discovered so you can move on with no nagging doubts

[Eljohno]

One thing you need to keep in the back of your mind is the fact that you are still not sure if your g/f is in anyway involved but a strong stance from yourself will i hope bring the truth out in the open!!

[ervenescence]

Whose the real culprit? whoever did it, I doubt they'll admit it because they feel embarrased from being dishonest, and tried to persuaded you that their innocent.
But if one of them said,.. oh yes I did! what you gonna do? just shrugged off as if something is unimportant or nothing happen. Or should you get mardy?

Learn, forget, and forgive. Moving on is the best thing to do, and be careful next time.

[aposhark]

Whose the real culprit? whoever did it, I doubt they'll admit it because they feel embarrased from being dishonest, and tried to persuaded you that their innocent.
But if one of them said,.. oh yes I did! what you gonna do? just shrugged off as if something is unimportant or nothing happen. Or should you get mardy?

Learn, forget, and forgive. Moving on is the best thing to do, and be careful next time.

Yes, I have been very strong about this and told my GF that I only want to hear about this issue when she has received the money. She is visiting WU tomorrow with her uncle. I have asked her to chase up her ID for the future.

Can she open a bank account with one ID or does she need two ID's?
Which bank is best/easiest for her?

[Eljohno]

If things work out and she is not the one who scammed you then if she starts a pnb bank account you can send money online that is cheaper than Western Union..

[andypaul]

Yes, I have been very strong about this and told my GF that I only want to hear about this issue when she has received the money. She is visiting WU tomorrow with her uncle. I have asked her to chase up her ID for the future.

Can she open a bank account with one ID or does she need two ID's?
Which bank is best/easiest for her?

Your GF can get a GFMC card from PNB so doesn't need to open an account.

Its a card where you load money onto from the UK and she can drawn from ATM.

http://www.pnbeurope.com/GFMC.htm

If you deal with PNB make sure you have some patience and double check and verify everything they do.
We use them

[aposhark]

If things work out and she is not the one who scammed you then if she starts a pnb bank account you can send money online that is cheaper than Western Union..

Hi Eljohno, I just have to wait until tomorrow for her news. This is such a weight on my mind as she constantly says her uncle never got the money.
She will be with him at the WU agent tomorrow and I really want to hear some good news.
I broke off phone contact for a few days because of this problem and she said she was so bored not hearing my voice and wanted to die.
I am either heading for a big fall (emotionally as the £100 isn't the real issue in the bigger picture) or a beautiful marriage to a fantastic girl.
We are speaking or texting every day again so the lines of communication are still open.
I remain puzzled and will only send another transfer to a bank if I get positive news.....

[aposhark]

Your GF can get a GFMC card from PNB

Thanks andypaul, I will look into this

[andypaul]

Thanks andypaul, I will look into this

The pleasures all mine and im hoping that the GF and uncle between them sort it out

[aposhark]

I have some great news!

I have just spoken with my GF and her uncle and he did collect the money when Western Union said he did

I am still not exactly sure what happened, my GF said it was her mistake and she had "shame" to me and her uncle. Her English is not 100% and neither is her uncle's; it can lead to all sorts of problems as this has done. Now if I was dealing with an English person it would be easier to ascertain what happened, but I am chatting with my future Filipina wife and I just think I will have to make things even plainer in my instructions. She is now going for the ID then opening a bank account later.
To be honest, I haven't slept very well with all this hanging over us. A LDR can be so difficult at times and I was getting quite depressed as I couldn't understand what, for me, was something simple.

I spoke with her uncle and he said he did get the money back in the middle of March! Why my GF didn't understand is beyond me. I'm just so happy she has it now. I just feel that the business of a close-knit Filipino family is something I will have to patiently try to understand.
It was only sorted out when the uncle and her travelled from two different islands to get to the WU on the mainland.
I do know that my GF shows a lot of respect to her uncle, almost deference at times.

I would like to thank everyone who took time to send replies to this thread. I am just so very relieved, happy and back on track with my beautiful (crazy) girlfriend. I have told her she owes me the biggest kiss for all this intrigue.....

aposhark

[Alan]

Phew! Glad it all turned out ok?

One question though - why didn't the uncle tell her that he had collected and then give her the money? (Or did this actually happen and I am missing the obvious?)

Al.

[aposhark]

Phew! Glad it all turned out ok?

One question though - why didn't the uncle tell her that he had collected and then give her the money? (Or did this actually happen and I am missing the obvious?)

Al.

Hi Alan,
I wish I knew what the obvious was myself!

I just remember when we went for a meal in a very big plush house in the sitio that was owned by my GF's auntie, that even though everyone knew we were an "item", my GF disappeared and never sat by my side until the meal was finished. We were all older than her and I had the feeling that she was showing respect by not imposing on the occasion, as if it wasn't really her place to be there.
I get the feeling that she shows her uncle a level of respect that goes beyond anything I have witnessed before. She was like this with everyone there who was older however.
There are so many imponderables, her shyness combined with her elegant strength.
My guess now is that she didn't like to ask direct questions of her uncle and things were only resolved when they met face-to-face at my request.
I think the fact that they were on different islands had a part to play in the saga.

I am just so relieved

[Eljohno]

It still seems a bit confusing to me, did he not say all along that he did not take it but is now coming clean because of the evidence against him?

Make sure that it was a simple mistake other than being scammed out of that money by people who have been caught.

Of course if it is just a misunderstanding then i wish you all the best!!

[aromulus]

The thick plottens...............

[keithAngel]

I have noticed with my lady that there are somtimes inconsistancies in a current conversation compared to my memory of a previous

When I mention this (understatement) we go through an uncomfortable phase Its always around her projections about how i might be judging her past.but i just reassure and I think this is begining to pay off in that she knows she doesnt have to gild any lillys

I told her from day one that she can ask me anything about my past and i will tell her ,but if she doesnt want to know ,dont ask

The alternative would be to keep repeating pleasant chats without really getting to explore what makes us tick..........I have concluded surpassing difficult stuff leaves us always stronger in our exploration of each other and if neither freaks out on a difficult to digest bit when we meet we will have a better understanding of the other.

If It were my experience that you just had I would be explaining all of the feelings you have experienced without any holding back

[joebloggs]

he's had the money nearly 1 month , why didn't he give it to her , what was he going to do keep it

maybe he never was going to give her the money..

but keep what you send under control, if you don't it will cause problems..

[aposhark]

It all seems to be problems in communication.

Even today, she was in the mainland and I asked her not to delete any of her e-mails as I will be able to get into the account and print them here in the UK to support evidence of relationship. "Do you understand, darling?" "Yes".
Just received an email from her saying she has printed the emails

I can see I will have mis-communication all the time until her English improves.
I sometimes think she doesn't like to say she doesn't understand something for fear of upsetting me. I wish she would say "Sorry, I don't understand you" then I could explain more fully.

The important thing is that she has the money. In the future, she will get her ID and open a bank account. Either way the ID will enable her to be the one to receive money from me directly.

She apologised profusely when she was on the mainland with her uncle. If I heard "sorry" once, I heard it ten times, and "I shame" (with laughs at the same time) too. It was her all along, not giving or getting the correct information from her uncle.

I really do trust her, the money I sent was after I asked her not to work as she had a tummy problem and I wanted her to recuperate.

I am not usually known for my patience, but I will have to be careful not to upset her, she is such a wonderful lady and I want a happy life with her.

So if you bear with me, I think I will have more silly stories as my island beauty and I progress in our romance.

[joebloggs]

i'm sure your g/f understands english better than you think, my misses speaks and understand english really well, but my stepson, understand every word i say, but it takes him a while to say it in english as he struggles to find the right words

[kimmi]

Goodluck Aposhark, I am pretty sure u really love ur gf..best of all goodluck..

[andypaul]

i'm sure your g/f understands english better than you think, my misses speaks and understand english really well, but my stepson, understand every word i say, but it takes him a while to say it in english as he struggles to find the right words

Remeber English abilty varies greatly Joe in Phills.

Many of the Wifes friends are very well educated and taught in English but its still difficult to communicate to a real Brit in realtime.

With out being disrespectful if your GF aposhark has lived away from a major town in phill and not had a long education, her English is very different to what we would expect.

If she is to have a good relationship with you and possibly come to the UK you need to help her improve her english skills.

Just watching BBC news and sky news wil help trust me

Im glad you have had some answers but like Eljhono and Dom say things are still a bit odd so keep your eyes open just in case.

[keithAngel]

[QUOTE=andypaul;62229]Remeber English abilty varies greatly Joe in Phills.[QUOTE]

Also remember English ability varies greatly in England as well.

[andypaul]

[quote=keithAngel;62232][quote=andypaul;62229]Remeber English abilty varies greatly Joe in Phills.

Also remember English ability varies greatly in England as well.

indeedy

Its lucky the T9 is not on, then it gets messy.

[joebloggs]

sure, but for a country thats second language is english and filipinos have grown up watching american tv, his g/f might not be able to speak english as good as she can read or understand spoken english. as my misses family, they all can read english, understand spoken english, from tv or even my manc english, but they find it harder to speak english.

oh and at most degree taught in english ?

don't under estimate the filipino

[aromulus]

don't under estimate the filipino

Bang on............

They should all be awarded honorary degrees in creative accounting.....

Because they know every trick in the book, and invent some others as they go along, in extracting money from the whiteys.....

I know for a fact that My in-laws do understand english very well, the problem with them is that they are either shy and afraid to make mistakes or unsure of their capabilities in actually speaking the language.

I couldn't speak to my sis in law for dear life, but if she is on YM she is ever so fluent in english and near enough word perfect.
I put it down to being just shy.

[kimmi]

so this thread is finished already?

[aromulus]

so this thread is finished already?

Where have you been ...???

[kimmi]

I am just here waiting for the promised dried fish..also since aposhark forgives his gf already..so everything is ok now, I guess..