Western Union Transfer Screw-Up

[aromulus]

I am just here waiting for the promised dried fish..also since aposhark forgives his gf already..so everything is ok now, I guess..

I am waiting for further developments with bated breath, as I don't think it is all kosher as it sounds....
Too much emphasis is given to language barriers now...

[kimmi]

I am waiting for further developments with bated breath, as I don't think it is all kosher as it sounds....
Too much emphasis is given to language barriers now...

the same here, Dom..my hubby and I are following this thread and he's teasing me at least he understands my english eventhough I can only say yes or no and dried fish..

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Aposhark, You have started a thread about a week ago about this problem with the Western Union and you just said now that your gf's uncle collected the money in the middle of March? So all along while you and your gf were discussing about where the mistake was, the money is already with her uncle?. If she hardly can't speak English and find it difficult to think of what proper words to say to you, it is very easy to say "Hon i got the money" or i don't have it yet. For filipinos having a strongly knit relationship with family members is not an excuse of keeping the money that doesn't belong to them or approach the elders about an important matter that concerns them. Anyway, i'm glad it finally got into your gf's hands by now.

[kimmi]

Hi Aposhark, You have started a thread about a week ago about this problem with the Western Union and you just said now that your gf's uncle collected the money in the middle of March? So all along while you and your gf were discussing about where the mistake was, the money is already with her uncle?. Is she hardly can speak English and find it difficult to think of what proper words to say to you, it is very easy to say "Hon i got the money" or i don't have it yet. For filipinos having a strongly knit relationship with family members is not an excuse of keeping the money that doesn't belong to you. Anyway, i'm glad it finally got into your gf's hands by now.

that's love sis Iye...he he he he

[aposhark]

Hi Aposhark, You have started a thread about a week ago about this problem with the Western Union and you just said now that your gf's uncle collected the money in the middle of March? So all along while you and your gf were discussing about where the mistake was, the money is already with her uncle?. If she hardly can speak English and find it difficult to think of what proper words to say to you, it is very easy to say "Hon i got the money" or i don't have it yet. For filipinos having a strongly knit relationship with family members is not an excuse of keeping the money that doesn't belong to them or approach the elders about an important matter that concerns them. Anyway, i'm glad it finally got into your gf's hands by now.

Hi itsme_iye
I sent my GF a few long texts and asked her to explain in an e-mail (not text) exactly what happened. I asked her to explain why she said her uncle needed the MTCN number when he had collected the money three days after I sent it and why didn't she know that he received it.
I have told her that if we are planning to be married, I need full trust so I need a full explanation.
Yes, the whole thing still rankles with me, and I still want to have full trust with my GF. So, this issue is not over for me yet

[Eljohno]

Maybe i am barking up the wrong tree but i would still not be happy with the way things turned out as there still seems to be something that has gone on so please make sure that you are able to trust her before committing to marriage.

[aposhark]

Maybe i am barking up the wrong tree but i would still not be happy with the way things turned out as there still seems to be something that has gone on so please make sure that you are able to trust her before committing to marriage.

Hi Eljohno
This is why I have asked her to think very hard, not to text me for a while but to email me the full explanation.
What I do depends on this explanation

[aromulus]

This is why I have asked her to think very hard, not to text me for a while but to email me the full explanation.
What I do depends on this explanation

Apart from www.xoom.com here is another idea for you...

http://www.mycashplus.co.uk/default.aspx

good luck

[andypaul]

sure, but for a country thats second language is english and filipinos have grown up watching american tv, his g/f might not be able to speak english as good as she can read or understand spoken english. as my misses family, they all can read english, understand spoken english, from tv or even my manc english, but they find it harder to speak english.

oh and at most degree taught in english ?

don't under estimate the filipino

Far from

When i first started speaking to the Wife i couldn't belive how bad her english sounded after seeing her im so quickly.

Spoken English my wife still has problems with some accents and im sure many Phills on here do. Just as we might understand some phills speaking Tagalog but others would have us due to slang and accents.
Look how many yanks cant understand brits.

So like aposhark is doing asking her to email is the best i always found when the wife and I had communcation issues it was best to write letters or emails just to ensure no misunderstandings.

[aposhark]

So like aposhark is doing asking her to email is the best i always found when the wife and I had communcation issues it was best to write letters or emails just to ensure no misunderstandings.

Also, I know that if we start trying to get to the bottom of the problem on the phone, she will start to cry, and that makes me feel bad.
This is a two-way street: I don't fully understand her on the phone and she doesn't fully understand my English.

I just want this bloody thing to end, yet the stakes (marriage, spousal visa and bringing her to UK) are too high for me to look too far into the future until I know what the real problem was. She has already said it was her fault a month later, but the simple fact was that the uncle received the money three days after I sent it and she said he told her he didn't receive it because of the number
I still smell a rat and the rat that I smell is probably the rat that I don't want to smell The trouble is two people were involved there and I still don't know which one or both was the problem.

They both have phones 24/7 so I am bemused.

[andypaul]

Also, I know that if we start trying to get to the bottom of the problem on the phone, she will start to cry, and that makes me feel bad.
This is a two-way street: I don't fully understand her on the phone and she doesn't fully understand my English.

I just want this bloody thing to end, yet the stakes (marriage, spousal visa and bringing her to UK) are too high for me to look too far into the future until I know what the real problem was. She has already said it was her fault a month later, but the simple fact was that the uncle received the money three days after I sent it and she said he told her he didn't receive it because of the number
I still smell a rat and the rat that I smell is probably the rat that I don't want to smell The trouble is two people were involved there and I still don't know which one or both was the problem.

They both have phones 24/7 so I am bemused.

I would put everything on hold untill she regains your trust.

If she has problems paying the texts text over a load code so as not to put her out of pocket.

No way can you let it stay like this. If a Girlfriend in the UK and her uncle misled you about a sum of money either the same or a slighty greater figure you simply would not stand for it.
A mate would be seriously blanked.

Your taking a risk even just keeping in contact as from my distant viewpoint you want to be convinced everything is ok which you might belive if you stay chatting.

I personally would do one at least for a serious period of time, your taking a huge risk of getting sucked in. I don't think either is a professional scammer. But like any kid learns if they can get away with something once....

[aposhark]

I would put everything on hold untill she regains your trust......I personally would do one at least for a serious period of time, your taking a huge risk of getting sucked in. I don't think either is a professional scammer. But like any kid learns if they can get away with something once....

great advice andypaul! I will wait until I get a full written explanation of what happened and in the meantime ignore the pleading texts. After all, I was the one who sent the money. I have a gut feeling that I will not find out who caused this problem, I feel like I am The money did "appear" when I threatened her with breaking off contact and to not treat me as a "stupid kano ATM machine".
I believe she loves me, but I feel I am battling against forces of poverty which I have never dealt with before.

[joebloggs]

but I feel I am battling against forces of poverty which I have never dealt with before.

tell me about it

pleading texts ? is she asking you for more money

[keithAngel]

great advice andypaul! I will wait until I get a full written explanation of what happened and in the meantime ignore the pleading texts. After all, I was the one who sent the money. I have a gut feeling that I will not find out who caused this problem, I feel like I am The money did "appear" when I threatened her with breaking off contact and to not treat me as a "stupid kano ATM machine".
I believe she loves me, but I feel I am battling against forces of poverty which I have never dealt with before.

I spent some hours yesterday on this blog and its rebuttal heavy stuff

http://tierramariaestates.blog.co.uk...-maria-estates

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Aposhark, After her explanation on email and you ignoring her pleading textes then you can now have your conclusion on what had happened. It is still you that can determine which is which.
If on a small amount a person can't be trusted on what more on huge amounts and with anything pertaining to properties or other investments? We are all hoping to find someone to be with for the rest of our lives, someone who is trustworthy thus any small details that touches trust should be given an attention. I know you have a good heart and is alien on any forces of poverty in the Philippines, nevertheless i hope you still should be keen on these matters as poverty is not an excuse of not being trustworthy. Good luck.....

[aromulus]

Poverty does not mean that you have to jeopardize your integrity and honesty.

[joebloggs]

Poverty does not mean that you have to jeopardize your integrity and honesty.

easy to say dom from wealthy wales

[aromulus]

easy to say dom from wealthy wales

I had some real bad times in my youth, slept under bridges, in waiting rooms at roma Termini railway station, in the coliseum, inside scrap cars in scrapyards, with all my belongings in a BOAC blue shoulder bag.... (I don't suppose many people remember those...)
And stealing was NOT an option entertained by me at that time or ever.
I washed dishes in restaurants for a few pennies a day and food. After that I found another job still washing dishes but with some sort of accomodation thrown in. I think your dog lives the life of Riley in comparison .....

Many things have happened since, but I managed to stay on track. So in my view one can be starving poor, but still keep his personal pride in being honest.

[joebloggs]

what you don't tell lies dom ? not even little ones , no white lies

thats why we have social services in the uk, i'm not defending anyone who is dishonest, but if you've got a family to feed, many will do anything it takes to feed them...

my misses would never take me to the of manila, told me it's bad enough for her to see the some people have to live in..

[Piamed]

Many things have happened since, but I managed to stay on track. So in my view one can be starving poor, but still keep his personal pride in being honest.

I agree totally; poverty does not have a direct relationship with dishonesty. Greed however, does.

By the way I still see those plastic BOAC bags being carried by the occasional elderly traveller. I've also seen similar Puma and Addidas versions lately.

T

[joebloggs]

pride will not feed your kids, neither will the gov of the phils..

my point was and is, its easy for us to sit here in 7th richest country in the world, when many or all of us have no idea what poverty is.

as for poverty in the phils. well ask my misses about how many babies and kids she has seen been taken out of hospital because the parents couldn't pay for the medicine or medical bills, knowing that they wouldn't live long, and how many times her and her interns have sat taking it in turns using hand operated ventilator in their own time to keep babies alive because the parents couldn't afford to pay for the automatic one

[Piamed]

pride will not feed your kids, neither will the gov of the phils..

my point was and is, its easy for us to sit here in 7th richest country in the world, when many or all of us have no idea what poverty is.

as for poverty in the phils. well ask my misses about how many babies and kids she has seen been taken out of hospital because the parents couldn't pay for the medicine or medical bills, knowing that they wouldn't live long, and how many times her and her interns have sat taking it in turns using hand operated ventilator in their own time to keep babies alive because the parents couldn't afford to pay for the automatic one

Fair point, but consider what proportion of the world is experiencing relative poverty and even extreme poverty. What would the world be like if even 5% of them stole. These people have to make extremely tough decisions everyday that test their characters. How they stay straight is amazing (perhaps faith, philosophy, upbringing, fear).

We, living in the West certainly don't have to make decisions/choices in the same way. But, as much as we cannot comprehend their situations, we must acknowledge that very very few of the people in those situations resort to theft for many reasons. If someone stole some money because their baby was about to die and they needed drugs to save her, I can understand that but would still not condone it, even if I myself would do the same.

I met a lady in the coffee shop opposite the Manila Shangri La. She was crying so I sat down to ask her if she was ok.

She told me her brother-in-law had been diagnosed with a heart condition 5 years earlier and had just died. The family had saved for years to raise the money to enable him to have life-saving surgery. They were unable to so he died, leaving 4 young kids and a wife. They were both professional Veterinarians - the cost of the surgery, $5,000. They never resorted to stealing.

Did the uncle steal to save a life or some other pseudo-nble cause? I don't suspect not.

T

[joebloggs]

true, but some desperate people will do what ever it takes.. and until your in their shoes, you really don't know what you would do or are capable of doing..

and if some whitey whos got more money than sense (Me included ) well then my misses from what i've seen on here, not sure about pete's transfer fee , but scammed me out of more money than anyone else on here

'honest joe'

[Piamed]

true, but some desperate people will do what ever it takes.. and until your in their shoes, you really don't know what you would do or are capable of doing..

That's very true!

[aromulus]

what you don't tell lies dom ? not even little ones , no white lies

thats why we have social services in the uk, i'm not defending anyone who is dishonest, but if you've got a family to feed, many will do anything it takes to feed them...

my misses would never take me to the of manila, told me it's bad enough for her to see the some people have to live in..

We all tell fibs of one sort of the other and we all have some kind of skeleton, small or large, in some dark recesses of some cupboard...

What I was trying to say is that my personal pride would not let me uplift and take possession of someone else property.
No matter how desperate my situation was.

Now...????

Please understand that if I were to find a million quid laying on the ground somewhere and no bugger is looking, well in that case I think, no, I am dead sure I would follow my first instinct put the dosh in a brand new designer Gucci or Lacoste BOAC bag and get the hell out of Dodge city....

But then again, unless one is absolutely brain dead, would leave it alone......

[Pepe n Pilar]

Poverty does not mean that you have to jeopardize your integrity and honesty.

Definitely

[andypaul]

pride will not feed your kids, neither will the gov of the phils..

my point was and is, its easy for us to sit here in 7th richest country in the world, when many or all of us have no idea what poverty is.

I think we understand that extreme poverty alters some peoples judgment.

But if you liked/loved someone would you steal off them if they offer to helpl you Joe?

[Pepe n Pilar]

I think we understand that extreme poverty alters some peoples judgment.

But if you liked/loved someone would you steal off them if they offer to helpl you Joe?

We have a saying in the Philippines "para kang nag alaga ng ahas" meaning as if you have a snake as pet. You take care of them and give them food and then it will still bite you to death.

[bornatbirth]

You take care of them and give them food and then it will still bite you to death.

is that really a snake or a wife

last time i saw my gf a story on the news was a 12 year old girl killed herself u wanna know why because she was poor!
can any of us really now how she was really feeling?

btw doesnt money corrupt all?

[Eljohno]

btw doesnt money corrupt all?

It is the love of money that corrupts people, not money itself!!!