These are actual comments from sports commentators on TV.

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when
Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely
horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't
that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of
the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is
playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team
Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob,
where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too,
because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot chipolata inside you on a cold night
like this."

10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only
come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes
to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Finally, I could not leave this without, not a TV gaffe, but a radio gaffe - indeed Test Match Special when England w2ere playing the West Indies - and the late, great Brian Johnston came forth with:

........the batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey!

Al.