Unlucky in love!!

[Eljohno]

Thought i would post what happened to a member of another site!!

I know some guys fly all the way over to the Philippines after weeks or months of internet chatting to find true love but this guy met 4 different ladies.

Hello seekers of love-
Most of you listmates already know this, but for those who are writing or e-mailing women in the Philippines with hopes of as permanent relationship (and there are many!)BEWARE! Things are not as they seem-
I selected four women in four widely separated geographical locations and corresponded with all four for an extended period. After about six months I flew to the RP to meet each of these ladies-
#1 had several children by a lover now in the US, Really wanted to get there to find him although he had a woman-promised to meet me at airport in Manila at midnight (that's when the damn planes land) but decided at last minute I should "take a hotel room " and she would "find me" next day. Never did meet her, but got a lot of verbal abuse on my site when I got back to US!!!!!
#2 --this lady had a van waiting for me at airport-wisked me to Angeles City where she lived, had made reservation at a pension house for me- She told me she had one kid when we wrote each other-actually had six, never married, "hated" the guy.I made a hasty exit by air from Clark to Cebu, and met
#3 -This lady lived in the "squatter zone" of Talisay, has one kid by a former lover who was married and living in Manila. She confessed that she still "loved him" so I got the hell out of there and took the fast boat to Dipolog to meet---
#4.-- This lady advertised herself as 40, with one child. Being an older guy this was OK with me. Actually she has six kids with her husband, who returned from work each night to their home. During the day she would play-I was to be the playmate!!! Oh yes-she was over 50! Pictures lie---

[chino]

OMG firstly yes they were all scams but he was scamming them too... he must not trust or love someone...

[andypaul]

A player got played

[aromulus]

Looking to visit 4 women.....

If that is not sex tourism, I don't know what it is...

Serves him right really.

"player played"....... Very good definition.

[KeithD]

Castrate the muppet and make a pie out of the cuttings

[lil John]

That just shows the true meaning of the old say "What goes around comes around"

[Eljohno]

Maybe unlucky in love was the wrong title as he was not being true to these women also but still a word of caution for those not to go into this lightly.

[keithAngel]

An interesting post....I think it very much depends on your experience

I have spent 3 months on a popular Asian dating site in that time Ive had 1253 messages in that time I've had innumerable one time only chats....learnt to be very upfront with what sort of relationship I'm looking for and how i see things

Had a few promising chats that initially looked like they could be the real thing only to find after a week or three a deal breaker..such as

I was sent by mistake an email with photos....but to the wrong name it was intended for another guy

She contacted a friend of mine who visited her page and said she wasn't talking to anyone else having told me the same (3 weeks in)

An amazing amount of requests for money....including "my landlord is here now to throw me on the street" "do you have boomerang?"

Through all this Ive kept my sense of humour wondered if i should forget virtual and just rely on going to the Phillis and rely on good old fashioned dating methods

However I'm now talking to a great(i hope) Lady very upfront about her family commitments.

She is fiery articulate ,funny and we seem to have some chemistry Ive told her I'm not going to do the "i love you" on line version we are friends with "interest in one another and I'm going to visit for 6 months without a huge projection....we may meet and she may run lol

Or we may fall in love and live interestingly ever after which would be great
in the meantime I'm talking daily and taking every opportunity to ask questions and encourage her to do the same.....brutal honesty is the order of the day and all Ive asked is that we never lie

Nothing in another's past is going to bother me its the present I'm interested in and building trust

I'm not looking for a commodity and don't want to be one if its not based on love and mutual appreciation and respect (and i do know the difference ) forget it

[aposhark]

.....Ive told her I'm not going to do the "i love you" on line version we are friends with "interest in one another and I'm going to visit for 6 months without a huge projection....we may meet and she may run lol

I think this is a very important point.
This goes for every on-line dating site and there are zillions in the west too.
How can anyone really know anyone else without seeing their expressions face-to-face.
Now this webcam thing. I suppose that people can at least see each other's faces which helps (I suppose that depends ).

I know in the old days people used to communicate by letter.
My grandmother used to write to my grandfather when WW2 was happening.
She hadn't met him and they ended up marrying and started a family.
I think anything can happen on-line, but if at all possible, get to meet the girl.
Filipinas seem so genuinely attractive on so many levels and we, as single men, can and sometimes do see romance through rose-tinted specs and/or beer goggles .
We have to stay careful, I used to make it a point of having 3 beers whilst watching girls dance and leaving alone, ALWAYS.
It's hard to do but self-preservation kicks in.
But meeting a non-bar girl in close proximity who has a beautiful face, figure and personality well I'm as weak as the next man.

Pink Floyd put it aptly in "One Slip"

A restless eye across a weary room
A glazed look and I was on the road to ruin
The music played and played as we whirled without end
No hint, no word her honour to defend
I will, I will she sighed to my request
And then she tossed her mane while my resolve was put to the test
Then drowned in desire, our souls on fire
I lead the way to the funeral pyre
And without a thought of the consequence
I gave in to my decadence
One slip, and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life for life
A small regret, you won't forget,
There'll be no sleep in here tonight
Was it love, or was it the idea of being in love?
Or was it the hand of fate, that seemed to fit just like a glove?
The moment slipped by and soon the seeds were sown
The year grew late and neither one wanted to remain alone
One slip, and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life for life
A small regret, you won't forget,
There'll be no sleep in here tonight
One slip ... one slip

[keithAngel]

A momentary lapse of reason.......

[Eljohno]

You seem to have a reasonable head on your shoulders so keep that sense of humour and you will meet the woman of your dreams

[Piamed]

Reminds me of the law of reciprocity!

[keithAngel]

I have been reading through older posts here and feel there are wide diferences in perspective.

One male said it was understandable that ladys in the phils chated to several men on the basis that one might come (eggs in baskets sort of thing),

I think until you have met non-judgment is the rule and I certainly wouldn't be critical of any one here for making connections in the Phil's if your time is very limited and your lady doesn't show or want you or is still with her husband etc you might be grateful to have a few phone numbers to call.

There is a difference between preparation and cynicism

[Piamed]

It can be sensible to have a Plan B or C or ....Z if one is not convinced about the initial ladies they are meeting.

T

[andypaul]

I have been reading through older posts here and feel there are wide diferences in perspective.

One male said it was understandable that ladys in the phils chated to several men on the basis that one might come (eggs in baskets sort of thing),

I think until you have met non-judgment is the rule and I certainly wouldn't be critical of any one here for making connections in the Phil's if your time is very limited and your lady doesn't show or want you or is still with her husband etc you might be grateful to have a few phone numbers to call.

There is a difference between preparation and cynicism

I agree nothing wrong with either the man or woman chating to others as long as they are not claiming to be in a serious comitted relationship. Same in the Uk as it is in phill.

I know my Wife and a lot of ladies on here would find it strange to be flirting with lots of guys just not the way she was brought up. As is the same for my Sister and many women i know here.

if the guy said he is just poping over to see these ladies and never claimed to be in a exclusive relationship then fair doos. But at least one of them im sure would be just a little shoocked to find out what he was actualy up to.

I guess a lot of us have very different circumstances in which we met and how our relationships developed.