Am I bonkers?

[amibonkers?]

My story may or may not be a familiar one to you, but here goes!

I visited one of those websites where you can ask the girls to do whatever and I became friendly with one of the girls.

We chatted away from "that" website and have become quite close - or as close as one can be online. She told me that she worked on "that" website as she needed money for her family. I now know that many people in the Philippines are really poor and have to go on "those" websites to raise money for food.

She is no longer doing that since we became friends and since I have sent her money to get food for her family. I sent her a digital camera and she has sent me photos of where she lives and it is very basic. No toilet or bath. It looks like a garage!

I'm happy helping her in an attempt to raise her out of this poverty and she has indicated to me that she would like to start a MiniMart, which is basically roadside selling of food, purchased with my money and sold at a profit so she can become self-sufficient in time.

One other thing. I've fallen for her big time. She's adorable. True there is a bit of an age gap but it does not seem to matter to either of us.

Am I bonkers?

[Eljohno]

Be careful is all i can say and many will tell you to send money so soon without really knowing her is foolish..

Go over and get to know her otherwise you will make choices simply based on how you feel which is not always reliable!!

[gracia143]

I don't think you are bonkers. People on here have similar stories about finding love on the internet. We are not here to judge...stay...you're on the right forum. Good luck!

[andy17]

amibonkers? No, I don't think you are... I think you follow your heart - if the money helps her and doesn't hurt you, what's the problem?
Eljohno is right - It would be a good idea to go and see her... seek advice from people here first though, they seem to know what they are talking about!
GOOD LUCK

[amibonkers?]

Thanks.
My talks with her are via webcam so we do see each other which helps a lot.
The imagination can run wild if you don't use a webcam, imho

[andy17]

good idea, I guess I'll have to invest in a webcam.

[andypaul]

Be careful is all i can say and many will tell you to send money so soon without really knowing her is foolish..

Go over and get to know her otherwise you will make choices simply based on how you feel which is not always reliable!!

Welcome to the site amibonkers

As eljohno says be careful and write all the actions you have done to see if it makes sense. Its easy to get carried away...

[bornatbirth]

i guess you are bonkers as u called urself that?

if you have the cash then dont worry but why not go and see her?

[amibonkers?]

I would but the cash it takes to go there is better spent now on helping her and then next year I'll visit her. Thanks for the feedback.

[LittleFingers]

My story may or may not be a familiar one to you, but here goes!

I visited one of those websites where you can ask the girls to do whatever and I became friendly with one of the girls.

We chatted away from "that" website and have become quite close - or as close as one can be online. She told me that she worked on "that" website as she needed money for her family. I now know that many people in the Philippines are really poor and have to go on "those" websites to raise money for food.

She is no longer doing that since we became friends and since I have sent her money to get food for her family. I sent her a digital camera and she has sent me photos of where she lives and it is very basic. No toilet or bath. It looks like a garage!

I'm happy helping her in an attempt to raise her out of this poverty and she has indicated to me that she would like to start a MiniMart, which is basically roadside selling of food, purchased with my money and sold at a profit so she can become self-sufficient in time.

One other thing. I've fallen for her big time. She's adorable. True there is a bit of an age gap but it does not seem to matter to either of us.

Am I bonkers?

Yes - totally suckered in

[andypaul]

I would but the cash it takes to go there is better spent now on helping her and then next year I'll visit her. Thanks for the feedback.

Would still advise a meeting people on here will remeber barnsley mark and others...

[joebloggs]

if your serious about her and helping her, you should go and meet her asap, as for you sending her money/her asking it could become a problem over time, so meet her, see where you both stand and if you have a future, if you don't it could cost you a small fortune or worse a big one

[aromulus]

My story may or may not be a familiar one to you, but here goes!

A Canadian guy I occasionally chat with had a similar and nightmarish experience....

I visited one of those websites where you can ask the girls to do whatever and I became friendly with one of the girls.

They are there to become friendly....

We chatted away from "that" website and have become quite close - or as close as one can be online. She told me that she worked on "that" website as she needed money for her family. I now know that many people in the Philippines are really poor and have to go on "those" websites to raise money for food.

I suggest that you go visit her, assess the situation, and if you don't feel scammed, help out...

She is no longer doing that since we became friends and since I have sent her money to get food for her family. I sent her a digital camera and she has sent me photos of where she lives and it is very basic. No toilet or bath. It looks like a garage!

Oh, yeah....? Be careful....


I'm happy helping her in an attempt to raise her out of this poverty and she has indicated to me that she would like to start a MiniMart, which is basically roadside selling of food, purchased with my money and sold at a profit so she can become self-sufficient in time.

Don't even think about it....


One other thing. I've fallen for her big time. She's adorable. True there is a bit of an age gap but it does not seem to matter to either of us.

Before you commit yourself to anything, I suggest you go over and meet her personally.

Am I bonkers?

No, not really. Lots of us in the forum have been reeled in very skilfully....

Welcome aboard, and have fun.

[alicat]

nice advice there aromulus..

[aug06_2006]

wowowowww! u have a good heart.. btw, i think u must visit her first instead of sending money..for sure!

[ginapeterb]

Your not bonkers, I got caught the same way, mine scammed me left right and centre, but here I am 5 years on, very happy, and still with my sexy lovely scammer.....and by the way I am still sending money !!!

Questions from readers:

1. How long does this sending money business go on for mate ?

Answer: For Ever !

[amibonkers?]

Your not bonkers, I got caught the same way, mine scammed me left right and centre, but here I am 5 years on, very happy, and still with my sexy lovely scammer.....and by the way I am still sending money !!!

Questions from readers:

1. How long does this sending money business go on for mate ?

Answer: For Ever !

I'm interested that you refer to it as scamming since you are still together. Are you saying that it started out as being after money, which I understand knowing their circumstances, but developed into romance, albeit a distance romance?

[ginapeterb]

I'm interested that you refer to it as scamming since you are still together. Are you saying that it started out as being after money, which I understand knowing their circumstances, but developed into romance, albeit a distance romance?

I think you need to take a more light hearted approach to contacting women from the Philippines, firstly if you take it too seriously, you may get unduly hurt if you fall foul of the bad ones.

When I refer to my little Filipina scammer, actually its a term of endearment, in my own rather warped sense of humour.

Money is the common denominator in all relationships in the Philippines, that is business, government, and personal, anyone who doesn't realize that, is in for the shock of all time.

The one thing you will learn is the word remittance ! 14 Billion US Dollars was remitted into the Philippines during 2007, and is set to grow, without it the country would be in a far worser situation than it already is.

Young ladies of the Philippines who are advertising themselves on freindship and courtship sites are doing it for one reason only, if they tell you otherwise, its a cover story for their real intentions.

There is nothing wrong with doing this, many of the readers on this forum have met their respective wife through freindship dating or social networking sites, the practice is common.

However, let us not forget, that these girls do not wish to enter into a relationship to come to a foreign country only to find they are worse off than whence they came from.

Of course, they have life threatening situations in the Philippines that need an urgent remedy, of course you will get Munting Hiling, (urgent requests), its just a matter of time.

The only thing you have to worry about is, that the requests for money and financial help is the only overriding reason for entering into a relationship withn you.

Most of the guys will agree on here, they don't mind supporting or helping out their wife's family provided that this is not the overriding reason for the move to UK.

I help out my wife's family, I know many others do it too, its kind of expected, and often works quite well, if you attend to it, plus your wife is much more settled.

To answer your question directly, the simple answer is no, it did not start off by her asking me for money, she never asked me for a penny, most Filipina's are too proud to ask, and anyway, they would rather work and earn the money themselves.

However, if you are a generous foreigner, and feel you would like to help your girl with some extra cash to make her life easier then of course it would be gratefully received.

Most decent genuine ladies from Philippines do not set out with the intention of scamming their respective foreigner boyfriends out of money, of course there is good and bad in any group, masama at maganda ! but the majority of the educated ones, have jobs in the Philippines, when they come to UK, they want to work, they rarely sit back and take what is given to them.

If you find a nice lady from Philippines, you will have a gem that is hard to replace, who will take care of you, support you, and be the dream wife you would want, on the other hand, you can have a few laughs along the way, when you find that this gem is not always as cheap as you expected, money is required in some circumstances, but not as much as you would think.

I suppose my point of this post is the following: yes money is a part of it, not all of it, but still a very important part of the relationship that exists between people from the west who seek partners from the 3rd world, lest we not all forget.


You are meeting a woman who has been brought up in the 3rd world, and never forget that and you will do fine.

[amibonkers?]

Many thanks Peter.

Wise words.

Thanks for your excellent website too.

Best wishes

[chino]

some great advise in this thread....

Go and see her before you send her anything... You need to know her and not what you get in an email that's the only way you can find out if you have fallen for her...

I brought up the idea of my GF running a BBQ stall and asked for all the prices and she thought around 3.5k for everything so things are cheap in the PI

[Eljohno]

Pete you are right when you marry them they become better at getting money out of us better than any scammer lol

[kimmi]

Many thanks Peter.

Wise words.

Thanks for your excellent website too.

Best wishes

welcome tot he forum amibonkers? well I am sure most of our mates here have said everything, so its up to u if u still wanted to call urself a bonkers..

[andypaul]

Am (may i call you am?) Out of intest sir, how much have you sent.

If you wish give an indication of the figures the ladies and gentleman on this site will know if it sounds about right.

[aromulus]

Am (may i call you am?) Out of intest sir, how much have you sent.

If you wish give an indication of the figures the ladies and gentleman on this site will know if it sounds about right.

Yeah.......... I need a little cheering up after a day like today........... Go on mate, tell us.......

[kimmi]

Yeah.......... I need a little cheering up after a day like today........... Go on mate, tell us.......

[andy17]

giinapeterb... great advice to all us 'newbies' - thanks, made me smile and laugh out loud!! the short time visiting these forums has been really elightening, leaving me in awe of you respected members!

[amibonkers?]

Am (may i call you am?) Out of intest sir, how much have you sent.

If you wish give an indication of the figures the ladies and gentleman on this site will know if it sounds about right.

So far only £260 - about 21,000 pesos. That's in a month's time frame.

[andypaul]

So far only £260 - about 21,000 pesos. That's in a month's time frame.

Thats a very good wage out in phill.

I know that can support/subdize a extended family in laguna (equivalent of surrey ie near london and quite expensive by the countries standards)

I would equate that to giving a brit 1 to 1.5k am i right?

[kimmi]

alright, how long uve known her Sir?

[amibonkers?]

alright, how long uve known her Sir?

A month.
I also sent her a digital camera.
I think I am bonkers. Here are my suspicions?
Tonight I had to tell her that I couldn't send her money this week and she told me that she was out of food. So far I have only seen 5 pictures taken by the camera and she says it's out of batteries already. Because I told her she was not getting money she turned off her web cam "to relax". Perhaps she was online with someone else? It was 3 a.m. there and she was talking online to me. Western time zones? When the cam came back on she was wearing another top. She said it was because it's very hot. Lastly she says she is at a girl friends house at 3 a.m. and will go home at 6 a.m. - could it be a boyfriend's house?

I guess what I'm saying is that my suspicions, whether valid or not, are driving me crazy. I want so much to trust her but I imagine the worst all the time and don't know how I can prove to myself that she is a) honest or b) a con artist.

Perhaps, I'd better end it as there is no way of getting proof, is there?