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Thread: Am I bonkers?

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by amibonkers? View Post
    A month.
    I also sent her a digital camera.
    I think I am bonkers. Here are my suspicions?
    Tonight I had to tell her that I couldn't send her money this week and she told me that she was out of food. So far I have only seen 5 pictures taken by the camera and she says it's out of batteries already. Because I told her she was not getting money she turned off her web cam "to relax". Perhaps she was online with someone else? It was 3 a.m. there and she was talking online to me. Western time zones? When the cam came back on she was wearing another top. She said it was because it's very hot. Lastly she says she is at a girl friends house at 3 a.m. and will go home at 6 a.m. - could it be a boyfriend's house?

    I guess what I'm saying is that my suspicions, whether valid or not, are driving me crazy. I want so much to trust her but I imagine the worst all the time and don't know how I can prove to myself that she is a) honest or b) a con artist.

    Perhaps, I'd better end it as there is no way of getting proof, is there?

    Walk away from it, mate.

    You been "tangoed"....


  2. #32
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    Well there are ways open a yahoo that is not anything like yours and send her a message from the web-based messenger "its been so long si nce we talked £" kinda message and see what happens...not foolproof but if she has a large stable she may bite


  3. #33
    Member amibonkers?'s Avatar
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    How much food would 10,500 pesos buy for a family of 10? How many days. I sent it on 31st March and it's all gone now 16 April. Is that feasible?


  4. #34
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    Why do some folk never take the easy option?
    Keith - Administrator


  5. #35
    Respected Member ervenescence's Avatar
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    Ops! lots of RED flags sign there.

    Run away mate!, I suspect you're not the only victim with her antics.
    There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.


  6. #36
    Respected Member ginapeterb's Avatar
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    Mr Bonkers,

    So far from reading your last post, I am hearing on the wrong vibes here, how long have you been talking to this one, sending her a digital camera is not a bad idea, its a practical gift you can give a Filipina, she can take photos of herself and email them to you.

    Of course the smart idea would have been to buy her a rechargeable device, she is probably telling you the truth, when she says, batteries are running out, batteries cost money, and she is going to be very reklamo, if she has to keep buying new ones.

    Well I wouldnt get into issues of whether she is at a house clandestinely until 6am, you are not there and cannot make a determination, if you did think this, then generally speaking something is not quite right.

    The problem with having relationships with foreign women in cyber space is that we often bestow attributes on the other person, that don't actually stand up to the reality of a situation.

    My advice is always very clear in these situations, and its simply this, if you feel the need to ask these questions on a public forum, it generally means something critical is flawed in your online relationship, having suspicions about the one you hope you will give your heart to is a very bad start, although not repairable, there is a very good chance this will end in an online disaster.

    If you are not happy, drop the monkey now from your shoulder, its cost you about P21,000 around £275.00 and a digital camera.

    Believe me, thats a modest amount, cut your losses now, before you get into £15,000 or more like some have done in the past, only to find out, they are broke and the love of their life has dissapeared into oblivion alot richer than you are for the experience.

    There are hundreds of thousands of good, decent, honest, chaste, sweet, kind and honest young ladies from Philippines who are just waiting for a nice guy to come along and make them happy.

    A Filipina companion who is in love with you and wants to be with you, will defend you to the ends of the earth, and will never let you down.

    Best of Luck.


  7. #37
    Respected Member Eljohno's Avatar
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    I know there is a battle going on between your head and your heart but the signs are not good. The fact that she turned the cam of straight you were not able to send her more money should show you what she really cares about. Please do not send another penny until you have had much more time to check her out!!


  8. #38
    Respected Member ginapeterb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amibonkers? View Post
    How much food would 10,500 pesos buy for a family of 10? How many days. I sent it on 31st March and it's all gone now 16 April. Is that feasible?
    An individual inthe Philippines needs at least P300.00 a day to survive, its now the 16th April, so that means by the time they picked up your P10,500 on the 1/2nd April they have had about 15 days, 15 x 300 is 4500 pesos, so in 4 weeks, they need around P9000.00 a month.

    A family of 10 (wow why is so big), don't you often wish for the love of your life to be an orphan, I know many do.

    A Family of 10 need so much more than the above, sadly, your P10,500 will go nowhere in the Philippines at present, the cost of Rice has risen from around P25,00 per Kilo, to P37.00 per kilo, (figures from Miss Gina who arrived back from the provinces on Sunday 13th)

    Cooking oil has risen, a tank of cooking gas used to be P450.00 is now P650.00, diesel has risen to fill up the average tank, was P1700.00 is P1900.00.

    A 50KG sack of rice was P1500.00 is now P2000.00 that means Filipinos are having to deal with many price hikes, these price hikes are affecting the poor more than at any other time.

    The remittances they recieve are going down, the exchange rate for foreigners is poor at present, the dollar having lost 20 per cent of its value in the last 5 years, the Dollar/peso rate was P53.00 to the dollar, its now P41.88.

    The Pound was P94.00 and at one stage P105.00 to the Pound, now its hovering between P81.00 and P84.00 currently at P82.40 and fluctuating.

    I am not suprised that your money has ran out already, in fact with a family of 10 people, I am suprised it lasted a week.


  9. #39
    Respected Member Eljohno's Avatar
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    I have said before on here about an American guy i met over in the Philippines who lost $4000 to a scammer!!!


  10. #40
    Respected Member Piamed's Avatar
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    Hi Am

    I, like the other replying forum members do not believe you are necessarily bonkers at all. But it does sound as though you have a few doubts about your lady friend. That is likely to occur from time to time; it's a feature of not being around the woman you are interested in but do not really know yet. Trust is everything. If you can get past these early suspicions and believe that the relationship may have long-term potential, visit her. That is the only way you will know who she really is and vice versa.

    Adding to Pete's comments, I love my outlaws (I mean in-laws) very much indeed and love being able to help them as I have been doing for years with my own family, although I generally prefer to help them with medical needs and initiatives that enable them to help themselves, e.g. buying a fridge for them so they can sell water, sacks of rice and baboy so they can sell them at a profit and paying for my brother-in-law to go to work abroad so he can support his wife and kids. It's a privilege and a small price to pay for what I have received from them in the form of my wife.

    Good luck!

    T


  11. #41
    Respected Member Eljohno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Piamed View Post
    Hi Am

    I, like the other replying forum members do not believe you are necessarily bonkers at all. But it does sound as though you have a few doubts about your lady friend. That is likely to occur from time to time; it's a feature of not being around the woman you are interested in but do not really know yet. Trust is everything. If you can get past these early suspicions and believe that the relationship may have long-term potential, visit her. That is the only way you will know who she really is and vice versa.

    Adding to Pete's comments, I love my outlaws (I mean in-laws) very much indeed and love being able to help them as I have been doing for years with my own family, although I generally prefer to help them with medical needs and initiatives that enable them to help themselves, e.g. buying a fridge for them so they can sell water, sacks of rice and baboy so they can sell them at a profit and paying for my brother-in-law to go to work abroad so he can support his wife and kids. It's a privilege and a small price to pay for what I have received from them in the form of my wife.

    Good luck!

    T

    Most of the people on here i am sure send money to the relatives of their wife and also at times to help others but also many on here have seen people being scammed many times and after a while you learn to see the red flags. I am not saying we are always right but the percentage would be quite high!!


  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by amibonkers? View Post
    So far only £260 - about 21,000 pesos. That's in a month's time frame.
    Hi amibonkers,
    I know girls in Phils who earn 120 per day, therefore 21,000 is 175 days money.
    If someone gave you half a years salary as a love interest that would make you very happy wouldn't it?

    In my opinion, don't think "only £260"; it is important to realise the value of money contributed to the girlfriend in the country you are dealing with.

    It is nice to help someone you are fond of, even if you haven't met her.
    Meeting her to get a fuller picture would seem to be the best thing for you to do as you seem generous and that generosity could cost you dearly in the fullness of time.

    People are generous in ANY country and a pretty face has always parted men from their money.

    Keep thinking

    aposhark


  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by amibonkers? View Post
    A month.
    I also sent her a digital camera.
    I think I am bonkers. Here are my suspicions?
    Tonight I had to tell her that I couldn't send her money this week and she told me that she was out of food. So far I have only seen 5 pictures taken by the camera and she says it's out of batteries already. Because I told her she was not getting money she turned off her web cam "to relax". Perhaps she was online with someone else? It was 3 a.m. there and she was talking online to me. Western time zones? When the cam came back on she was wearing another top. She said it was because it's very hot. Lastly she says she is at a girl friends house at 3 a.m. and will go home at 6 a.m. - could it be a boyfriend's house?

    I guess what I'm saying is that my suspicions, whether valid or not, are driving me crazy. I want so much to trust her but I imagine the worst all the time and don't know how I can prove to myself that she is a) honest or b) a con artist.

    Perhaps, I'd better end it as there is no way of getting proof, is there?
    If she was up to no good she may have been in a house where the webcam girls work.
    I watching news reports on raids of these places when in phill.

    Home broadband is still the preserve of the better off.

    Women do change clothes often in phill as you know its dam hot and humid.


  14. #44
    Respected Member chino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amibonkers? View Post
    So far only £260 - about 21,000 pesos. That's in a month's time frame.
    Well my GF is on less than half (only just) and she is happy... Yes she wants more but i have lived with her and know the cost of living in the PI. It depends on what type of GF you have a simple one or one that wants to show off?

    My girl is a simple girl - not like that and does nothing more than want to cook and look after her family - damn i miss sinigang and my honey ko!


  15. #45
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    My friend says she does a 52 hour week ...has a good job and earns about 10,000piso a month with six in the house rent 4000 her brother contributes 1000 toward rent then there is electric and water about 1300 a month they are still buying snacks from the market and such......when i asked how much for a really comfortable life with bigger house etc she said 30000........but it has always been my experience that everyone tends to live up to their income when it increases so do their aspirations ,my friend sure has TV...DVD...PC and on line at home cell phone home phone all of which eat resources......until i get there i credit her with being autonomous and whilst i might send an occasional gift i will not send money until we have met and confirmed our interest in each other.

    Trust in God and tie up your camel is my advice everyone has a legitimate need for survival....its not of its self connected to love and romance though on balance I think you are being scammed I have many experiences of this myself without financial loss so far


  16. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithAngel View Post
    until i get there i credit her with being autonomous and whilst i might send an occasional gift i will not send money until we have met and confirmed our interest in each other.
    Totally agree with you.

    My wife never asked for money, she was working and contributing to her family welfare.
    After we met the second time, and both realized that we were mutually compatible, I started with some financial help.
    She left her job, and was there 24/7 for me, waiting for my call to be online.
    On my second trip over, I did bring a small pc with me, to leave with her, had her connected to broadband, and phone line in the house.
    The only times she actually asked me to send "her allowance" was when I forgot to do it, due to the traveling involved with my job. And the bills for the above were overdue.

    Now that she is here with me, she is in contact with her family very often, and due to her working herself, she is able to help her family financially.
    Although they are not asking for a penny.


  17. #47
    Respected Member allyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amibonkers? View Post
    How much food would 10,500 pesos buy for a family of 10? How many days. I sent it on 31st March and it's all gone now 16 April. Is that feasible?
    ei its not your responsibility to feed her family...
    stop sending her money and just go there and meet her to know her better...
    she should like you for who you are and not for you can financially send her...

    keep on smiling
    cheers!!!


  18. #48
    Member amibonkers?'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allyn View Post
    ei its not your responsibility to feed her family...
    stop sending her money and just go there and meet her to know her better...
    she should like you for who you are and not for you can financially send her...

    keep on smiling
    cheers!!!
    I feel obligated because she gave up her job on the sex site and so has no income until I can afford to finance her MiniMart (20,000 Pesos), which it is hoped will help support herself.

    I agree that the best solution is a trip to Manila to meet her. Nothing else will have the same effect.

    Thanks for the feedback. It is much appreciated.


  19. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by amibonkers? View Post
    I feel obligated because she gave up her job on the sex site and so has no income until I can afford to finance her MiniMart (20,000 Pesos), which it is hoped will help support herself.

    I agree that the best solution is a trip to Manila to meet her. Nothing else will have the same effect.

    Thanks for the feedback. It is much appreciated.
    Somehow I don't think she has given anything up....
    But it seems that she gained a sucker.....
    You have no obligations at all towards her...

    I strongly recommend that you DO go there and assess the situation, but be very aware that you are going to be taken for a very expensive ride.


  20. #50
    Respected Member IainBusby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithAngel View Post
    until i get there i credit her with being autonomous and whilst i might send an occasional gift i will not send money until we have met and confirmed our interest in each other.
    When I first met my gf (now wife), although I was never asked to send money by her, I had been asked by others and had already decided this was the position I would take from the outset with any possible relationship online.


    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    My wife never asked for money, she was working and contributing to her family welfare.
    Same here. Even when I asked her to meet me in Manila when I first went to Phils to visit her and she agreed, she asked me if she should borrow the money for the airfare and was quite prepared to do so. I did of course send her the money for this.


    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    After we met the second time, and both realized that we were mutually compatible, I started with some financial help
    I started with financial help after the first visit.

    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    On my second trip over, I did bring a small pc with me, to leave with her, had her connected to broadband, and phone line in the house
    Almost the same here but in my case, I sent the money for the PC etc after the first visit.

    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    The only times she actually asked me to send "her allowance" was when I forgot to do it, due to the traveling involved with my job. And the bills for the above were overdue.
    Same here more or less.


    Iain.


  21. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by allyn View Post
    ei its not your responsibility to feed her family...
    stop sending her money and just go there and meet her to know her better...
    she should like you for who you are and not for you can financially send her...

    keep on smiling
    cheers!!!
    All the advice you need am


  22. #52
    Respected Member chino's Avatar
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    I cannot find the pic but i have it on a disk in my office... Its a Joke from Pattaya in Thailand... It simply says:

    "This is my GF her name is Toy" while the thai girl says "This is my BF his name is ATM"


  23. #53
    Respected Member lavander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amibonkers? View Post
    I feel obligated because she gave up her job on the sex site and so has no income until I can afford to finance her MiniMart (20,000 Pesos), which it is hoped will help support herself.

    I agree that the best solution is a trip to Manila to meet her. Nothing else will have the same effect.

    Thanks for the feedback. It is much appreciated.
    Or better yet, meet me instead


    In search of you...


  24. #54
    Respected Member lavander's Avatar
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    oppss. rest assure am a scammer ....but not of money...but your attentions and affections...



    shefield.white4 at gmail dot com


  25. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by lavander View Post
    Or better yet, meet me instead


    In search of you...
    One can hardly refuse an offer like that.........

    His place or yours, dear....????

    Give me time to set the webcam up, will yah...?


  26. #56
    Respected Member lavander's Avatar
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    hahaha...i dont usually do offer such this though...

    so lets see where this will lead to...

    ...am a certified filipina...am not after for any material things in life as am blessed to have what anyone can have..am more on finding someone whom am going to share and explore this things called 'life'.....


    different things, so exciting to find out..


  27. #57
    Respected Member lavander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lavander View Post
    hahaha...i dont usually do offer such this though...

    so lets see where this will lead to...

    ...am a certified filipina...am not after for any material things in life as am blessed to have what anyone can have..am more on finding someone whom am going to share and explore this things called 'life'.....


    different things, so exciting to find out..
    ...let me add on this..

    it will definitely advantage i will be pampered with so much of everything..tangible or intangible...


  28. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by lavander View Post
    hahaha...i dont usually do offer such this though...

    so lets see where this will lead to...

    ...am a certified filipina...am not after for any material things in life as am blessed to have what anyone can have..am more on finding someone whom am going to share and explore this things called 'life'.....


    different things, so exciting to find out..
    Where is my USB extension for the webcam lead...???



  29. #59
    Respected Member lavander's Avatar
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    Where is my USB extension for the webcam lead...???

    hey... am marketing myself to amibonker ( not to u dear)....
    ur taken....


  30. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by lavander View Post
    hey... am marketing myself to amibonker ( not to u dear)....
    ur taken....

    It is not for me....

    I was planning to stream your encounter live on the net.....

    You are a good sport.... good luck in your search for happiness.


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