Rude Comments

[Piamed]

I was just recalling some things that happened to me a few times when walking with my wife when in the Philippines. On occasion people (both men and female but mostly female) walking by would make sexually rude comments about our relationship to her in Suriganon or Bisayan.

My wife ignores them and only tells me what was said when I ask her later. I guess she is worried that I might confront those saying those things to her. I just find it disrespectful to her. I just think they are mindless and rude. I can't say these things are said aggressively or in confrontation but rather curiosity and intrigue perhaps but nevertheless its inappropriate. Sometimes a group of guys will gesticulate their thoughts.

Has anyone else ever experienced people saying/doing these types of things to the gf/wife? I hope I'm not being too vague.

T

[KeithD]

This is how being a scouser is an advantage, as I'd come out with something to throw it back in there face

IE:

Sometimes a group of guys will gesticulate their thoughts

Just say to them "I'll let you only if you swallow!"

[Eljohno]

This sort of thing is very common so its best just to ignore as its mainly done out of jealously!!

[ervenescence]

I just think they are mindless and rude.


Has anyone else ever experienced people saying/doing these types of things to the gf/wife? I hope I'm not being too vague.

T

You're not on your own there Piamed, I think most of the filipina who have foreign partners has experienced this kind of rudeness from this group of monkeys. I usually encounter them whenever Im in the Philippines with hubby.

Heard them saying... wow the bloke is a big guy, i bet he's got a giant vege and look at the lady, shes petite..how did she cope with that? surely she'll get squash...and then laughing, giggling, .

Idiots! best way to ignore them. They were just a jealous cow.

[keithAngel]

just limited imagination Karma..........but no Sutra

[andypaul]

The wife and her friends tell me for as many who are rude far more are jealous for the fact they have a loving hubby/partner. Who treats them as equal, polite and takes an intrest in them, plus the economic benefits.

[ginapeterb]

These comments are sadly par for the course in the Philippines, there will always be a roup of locals who will comment in this way, is one type of resentment or jealosy that has to be endured.

Many times, Miss Gina told me what was said about me, i.e. he is big..or he is fat, I have noticed that those freinds of ours in the PHILIPPINES who are the educated ones, never pass such comments, they are tactful and polite.

Its mainly the Tambay who walk around in Barkada, who are normally the ones who pass what can seem at times to be hurtful comments, and sometimes its only later that your girlfriend or wife will tell you actually what they said.

At the same time your girlfriend or wife does not want you to have your feelings hurt by revealing the translation of what they said, and often it serves as a protection, what you don't know can't really hurt you.

We must remember, anyone who looks different, or out of proportion, or is a different colour, or speaks differently, always leaves themselves open to be commented on in a demeaning way.

I can remember when I was stood outside of the British Embassy one day, when a pretty big BRITISH guy was walking in the Embassy, I thought at the time that he was twice the size of me, there was at the time a very petite slim young lady with him, I could hear the guards laughing and commenting.

I am not sure what they said, but i had a pretty good idea looking at their laughing and body language, but its always the same thoughts, "Who are they to comment!" and in any event "What business is is of theirs".

I remember a time when Miss Gina and I were sitting in the L Fisher hotel in Bacolod City having the evening buffet that they do most nights, in the next table was a rather large American guy sitting having dinner with a very petite young lady, I have to say the young lady was dressed immaculately, a nice evening dress and lovely shoes, she was a credit to the Filipino race.

I noted that the American guy was a very large guy, probably weight in excess of 24 to 27 stones, in itself not a issue for me, but what concerned me most about him, was his style of dress in the L Fisher, this was of course cocktail night, when I looked around, I was always visibly impressed with the way that the Filipino man dresses.

If you look at them, they always are immaculately turned out, very nicely pressed trousers, sometimes Barong Tagalog, or a nice dress shirt, that is what I noticed about the Filipino when they go out as a family.

I occasioned to see one of my friends, a relative of a former employer of Miss Gina, he was there with his whole family from the Lolo, Lola and the whole generations down, I thought to myself, wow, that family is so well dressed for dinner, they all were dressed immaculately.

I contrasted them and my party, with this American guy, he was dressed in a track suit bottoms, that looked like he sat around in them all day, his shirt was like a black t shirt with a hole in it, he was unshaven, and generally dishevelled.

I could not help noticing that his dress sense, including a pair of old dirty trainers, did not give off a very good impression, I wanted to say something to him, but Miss Gina told me not to interfere, and of course its none of my business.

But I could not help feeling, that he would be the object of a negative conversation, thats why on my website, I caution visitors to be mindful of what they wear in the Philippines, especially at dinner, or when stepping out with their lady, because you are ultimately ambassadors for your country, it doesnt matter how big you are, what you look like, your weight, and general looks, are of no consequence, if you are smartly turned out, nice evening shirt, pressed trousers, a smart appearance, with clean shoes.

This guy sadly was the object of comments, not just from Filipino groups but also from myself, I told Miss Gina, this guy looks terrible, and in the L Fisher dining lounge a 1st Class hotel in the City.

Filipino's in groups have a habit of commenting, and saying things they would refrain from doing if they were alone, but then on the other hand, lets not give them a reason to do so, at least if they say, he is fat or he is big, or he will squash her, they cannot say, he is scruffy, he is badly turned out, all they can say is, he is big, but smart.

And I for one as a foreigner in country, CAN LIVE WITH THAT ENDORSEMENT ! How about you ?

[keithAngel]

Couldn't agree more..............now were did I put that iron

[aromulus]

The Bestman at our wedding, a Danish aquaintance of mine, was nicknamed by the neighboors "Hugawan"... or "untidy"...
I didn't find out what it meant until well after the wedding.... Mind you it didn't stop them enjoying the party....

[ervenescence]

And have you ever called... HEY JOE!

Funny how hubby replied them, my name is not Joe.
And im not amerikano .

[andypaul]

And have you ever called... HEY JOE!

Funny how hubby replied them, my name is not Joe.
And im not amerikano .

If you start singing jimi hendix to them it freaks them out

[joebloggs]

I've had a bit of abuse shouted at me many years ago, from a distance, nothing to my face (being near 6ft 3, and 16 stone might be the reason ), but like some have said their just jealous of you, so i don't even bother to say anything , which is hard for a manc not to do

[joebloggs]

And have you ever called... HEY JOE!

Funny how hubby replied them, my name is not Joe.
And im not amerikano .

i've never been called joe

always call me Sir , i look nothnig like elton john thou

[aromulus]

And have you ever called... HEY JOE!

Funny how hubby replied them, my name is not Joe.
And im not amerikano .

Several times....
Especially by Jets neighboors, as they didn't know my name, or remember it.
But I always took the trouble of correcting them nicely and try a couple of words of their language on them for a giggle, as ignoring them could have caused criticism to our family.

[Piamed]

Excellent comments guys. I have noticed many guys of the ilk described by Pete and they often make me feel embarrassed since the term FOREIGNER is a collective term that does not differentiate between guys that try to give good impressions and those that don't. In the UK of course what other Brits do has no bearing on how we are perceived individually.

It's a shame but unless a FOREIGNER makes a real effort to talk to me I often subconsciously or otherwise find myself avoiding them. This is because I have met so many who seemed OK until they opened their mouths and spewed out demeaning and at times racist diatribes.

I was with my then fiancée on a flight to Butuan from Manila and had the misfortune to sit next to an American guy (few Americans are like this). He started telling me how he had RETIRED to Pattaya because of what he heard was available there. After several months of satisfying his lust he was now traveling da Phils taking advantage of the economic situation to exploit as many filipinas as possible. His views on women in general let alone Asian women were consistent with the type of guy that the average Western woman would find repulsive.

This man had no respect at all. In spite of the fact that I turned my back to him and that the woman I clearly loved was with me, he continued to wax away. Only my honey's imploring glances restrained me from cautioning him.

I can tell you that with every challenging interaction like this my admiration for my queen grows beyond measure. The refined restraint she shows at all times irrespective of the frustration at the CFO, etc is a real blessing to me. Hmmn! When i start to talk about my love in that way, wow!

T

[Piamed]

evernescence, I thought my name was Joe. When I arrived on a SuperFerry at Gensan I was amazed to have hundreds of people shouting Hey Joe as I passed through them. It was amazing and the memory of their wonderful smiling faces still gives me a warm fuzzy one.

T

[aromulus]

I was with my then fiancée on a flight to Butuan from Manila and had the misfortune to sit next to an American guy (few Americans are like this). He started telling me how he had RETIRED to Pattaya because of what he heard was available there. After several months of satisfying his lust he was now traveling da Phils taking advantage of the economic situation to exploit as many filipinas as possible. His views on women in general let alone Asian women were consistent with the type of guy that the average Western woman would find repulsive.

This man had no respect at all. In spite of the fact that I turned my back to him and that the woman I clearly loved was with me, he continued to wax away. Only my honey's imploring glances restrained me from cautioning him.

Personally I would have had a quiet word with the Immigration officer on arrival, saying that I had suspicions of the guy being a sex tourist....

[Piamed]

I agree aromulus. Actually, although occasionally i correct people and advise them that I'm from UK, I don't mind being called Joe as i guess it's delivered as a term of endearment.

Actually, the really funny thing is how many people start singing an Akon song as I walk past. If I had a piso for every time that happened Id be very...oh, never mind.

T

[Piamed]

Personally I would have had a quiet word with the Immigration officer on arrival, saying that I had suspicions of the guy being a sex tourist....

Unfortunately, an internal flight!

[eljean]

ever heard "Oh he is so gwapo the girl is so pangettt"

[Piamed]

No, not heard anyone call my love pangit! Actually in my eyes she is super-gwapa; In the eyes of those around me too. Hehe! Of course not they are not at all influenced by my 6'0'' and 16 stone stature.

whenever I show pics of my wife which I do in markets, airport lounges, on the train etc, they always remark how beautiful she is. I think if I showed the pic and someone said eeeewwww, pangit, I think I would be stunned and probably start laughing.

I have heard, 'oh she is lucky to have him'. But that is just because they wrongly assume that I am wealthy and she is so lucky as she will no longer be 'poor'.

I must tell you this. The day following my wife's recent graduation she received the following text: 'Ate, congrats on your graduation, I hope you won't change now that you are rich'. Hmmmn!

We are both lucky to have found love.

T

[andypaul]

Several times....
Especially by Jets neighboors, as they didn't know my name, or remember it.
But I always took the trouble of correcting them nicely and try a couple of words of their language on them for a giggle, as ignoring them could have caused criticism to our family.

Exactly treat all with respect and 99 times out of a 100 they will return it.

In fact in the wifes locally area most of the neighbours don't say anything when we see one another as they are shy it seems so i smile and greet them nearly all will reply and some once the ice is broken come over for a basic chat in taglish.

Like you say we pop in and out of the country and can easily forget these are the people our families live with everyday.

Like others say the way some non phills who are a mixture of perverted, women disrespecting racists treat the local phills makes me angry.

The amount of times mainly yanks but im sure many from various western nations are the same, just yanks are more outgoing in genral. Have talked disrespectifully about the women they are with and women in genral. Expecting you to be the same

One time we were in a posh designer menswear shop in gloriaetta and a brit guy was in the shop being served before me only a young guy and he was so rude i went out of my way to aplogize and treat the assitants with the utmost respect they said they were used to it from both the westerners and rich locals

[Piamed]

Exactly treat all with respect and 99 times out of a 100 they will return it.

In fact in the wifes locally area most of the neighbours don't say anything when we see one another as they are shy it seems so i smile and greet them nearly all will reply and some once the ice is broken come over for a basic chat in taglish.

Like you say we pop in and out of the country and can easily forget these are the people our families live with everyday.

Like others say the way some non phills who are a mixture of perverted, women disrespecting racists treat the local phills makes me angry.

The amount of times mainly yanks but im sure many from various western nations are the same, just yanks are more outgoing in genral. Have talked disrespectifully about the women they are with and women in genral. Expecting you to be the same

One time we were in a posh designer menswear shop in gloriaetta and a brit guy was in the shop being served before me only a young guy and he was so rude i went out of my way to aplogize and treat the assitants with the utmost respect they said they were used to it from both the westerners and rich locals

Understood, I have mixed emotions when people tell me 'you are not like a FOREIGNER, more like a PINOY'. I feel great cause I believe my perspective is a very International one and they recognise my respect and feeling of oneness with them, but sad that I'm included in that homogenised group with others who I may have nothing in common with.

T

[aromulus]

One time we were in a posh designer menswear shop in gloriaetta and a brit guy was in the shop being served before me only a young guy and he was so rude i went out of my way to aplogize and treat the assitants with the utmost respect they said they were used to it from both the westerners and rich locals

Yeah...
I did have a run in with a couple of geordies at the hotel in Cebu.
They were being rude and disrepectful to the receptionists and bell boy.
They also had the gall to call me a foreigner.... For jumping at their defense.....
NOT the right approach at all.... As I let them have a verbal broadside....
Suffice to say that the management called them a taxi to take them elsewhere and I ended up with a discount and drinks on the house for the rest of my stay.... I would have let them walk... But that is filipino hospitality for you...
I will be definitively stay there again, it is like a second home for Jet and me.

[KeithD]

No ones ever passed those comments to my missus and lived

[joebloggs]

One time we were in a posh designer menswear shop in gloriaetta and a brit guy was in the shop being served before me only a young guy and he was so rude i went out of my way to aplogize and treat the assitants with the utmost respect they said they were used to it from both the westerners and rich locals

Andy, i've never seen many brits in the phils, but one time when i nearly snapped, was at the westin, i just giving my passport to the gal on reception, when a jap appeared from nowhere, thrust his passport and credit card infront of her face, the gal kept apologising to me, but the jap was moaning about something, i let the stiff upper lip get to me, i know i shud have told him, there a queue and your at the back. i was unlucky enougth to be put on the jap floor of the westin, they don't treat filipinos too well

[aromulus]

No ones ever passed those comments to my missus and lived

Yeah.... Filipinas can be rather fierce.....

[Piamed]

I'd have let them walk too. Filipinos can be unbelievably tolerant of the errant ways of FOREIGNERS.

T

[Piamed]

Yeah.... Filipinas can be rather fierce.....

LOL!!!!

[andypaul]

Andy, i've never seen many brits in the phils, but one time when i nearly snapped, was at the westin, i just giving my passport to the gal on reception, when a jap appeared from nowhere, thrust his passport and credit card infront of her face, the gal kept apologising to me, but the jap was moaning about something, i let the stiff upper lip get to me, i know i shud have told him, there a queue and your at the back. i was unlucky enougth to be put on the jap floor of the westin, they don't treat filipinos too well

Not much love lost between Japs and phills. Our Company although Japanese normally sends westeners to phill as to much conflict between the locals and the japs lol.

The ones who Phills seem to really dislike in my local area are the koreans who are like the chav Brits in spain it seems